A Candle Lit in the Eclipse
by DSDAD
Summary: Many things can affect the development of a growing mind be it the loss of something vital, the birth of a new ideal to strive for, or the will to face any obstacle head on as it is in your family's nature. Shinji's case was a lot more complicated than that; let it be known that the sins of the fathers must be absolved, especially if you've bear witness to every single sin yourself
1. Prologue I

Of the few things that I own, the works of Kinoko Nasu are not one.

In other words, I do not own Fate/Stay Night

Ps. I made a few ittsy bittsy changes mostly getting the names structured right so feel free to take a reread

* * *

He had been obsessing about this for the past, he looked at the clock in the dining room, eighteen hours, twelve minutes and… twenty seven seconds. Well, like eight of those hours he had been asleep but he knew that it was the thought that was numbered, or whatever the sayings that his teachers in London had been trying to drill into his head. Even without counting, Shinji knew that it had been stuck in his head all this time since he could've sworn he had been dreaming about it too.

And he never wanted to have dreams like that again.

Shaking away the bad thoughts, Shinji slapped his hands on his cheeks and built up his resolve. Glancing back at the clock, 6:13 PM displayed by its hands, the boy nodded. He had officially reached his limit and now he was gonna do something about it. If he didn't, how could he be a good brother to that girl like Grandfather had asked of him? Shinji knew that he hadn't been all that good at it to begin with but if he tried hard enough, Sakura would want to be a part of the family and then…

No! Not the time to be distracted, not at all! Shinji rushed through the hallways and up the stairs to his room where he had the supplies ready for his attack. Looking down at his assorted treasures, he grinned. This had to be the best plan that had ever been made in the history of ever!

Every time that Sakura disappeared with Grandfather and Father, she was always gone till after bedtime and she was always sad when she finally made it to her room. The boy could imagine what had made her so gloomy; when he was in London, there were times when Shinji's teachers would make him write down the answer of a question over and over again to make sure both his body and mind remembered the lessons. That being said, Shinji had grown worried as each day after he had come back home from his schooling, she seemed to get more and more silent. It made sense to him that such a quiet detached girl would need tutoring from the smartest person he knew but her actions now were troubling. It had gotten to the point where Shinji had broken one of the few rules he had from his father, "Do not disturb the girl once she has retired for the night."

Grandfather had always laughed the few times that Father has ever talked to Shinji and Shinji had tried to find it as funny as he did but he couldn't ever laugh at Father. Not when the man gave him such a dirty look and definitely not when he remembered how his father looked and acted when there was no one else around, surrounded by all those bottles.

Shinji already knew of the legacy of his family, the Matou, and what was expected of him as the heir to such a prestigious magus family so he understood that all of this was a test before he could begin his training as a mage. The mage to be had already spent hours upon hours scouring the gigantic library of the manor and had already read up on the roots of Matou family as well as all the basics of magecraft, through repeating what was on the page was tough without any help which would soon be a thing of the past once he proved himself.

"Sakura-chan's previous family has decided that she would be better off in the hands of those that would foster her growth to its fullest extent, Shinji, so she's going to be joining the family as your younger sister. Do your best to treat her well, that's all this old man can ask of you."

He had hated the idea that he had to share Grandfather with anyone, let alone a reject of her own household, so he had refused to care about the girl at first. But now he understood the reason Grandfather, who had never asked anything of the boy, had done so; it was obvious that this was his final task to complete.

Which brought Shinji back to where he was, gathering the few toys that he had and lugging them into Sakura's room so that when he rescued her from whatever boring lessons she was taking, they'd be able to play together and she would feel accepted. That will show both Father and Grandfather, once and for all, that he has the responsibility and drive to take on the mantle and to finally begin his training.

Placing the stuffed bear in the most optimal position for welcoming the purplette, plush arms "beared" for a hug upon its button eyes meeting the target's own, the boy plan was finally in action. Shinji whipped around heading to the door but not leaving before he saluted the toys for their cooperation, to which their stoic stitched faces reflected his own determination. His morale boosted, Shinji moved on to the next step.

* * *

He had always avoided this area of the manor, both from being told that it was no place for him to play as well as his own feelings when he crossed by the old, wooden door on the second story. It was unavoidable since it was the first thing seen after going up the stairs yet it being alone, on its own end of the hall, never failed to call out to Shinji.

It was like hearing those stories of Grandfather's own childhood, being scared senseless but still being pulled in by the fear of not knowing.

Moving as quietly as he could down the hall, Shinji grimaced at the feeling; the air tasted like mud and goosebumps covered his exposed skin, giving his arms and the back of his neck an itchy tingle. The boy pushed through the sensations and steeled himself, reaching the end of the hallway and standing right in front of the door. The atmosphere around it seemed so disturbed that Shinji could swear that he could hear the air buzz.

Wait, no, he was sure that he could hear buzzing now that he was next to the door.

It was now or never. Shinji grabbed the old metal ring fixed above his head and pulled. It didn't budge. He tried again, to no avail. Stepping back with one foot, the boy grabbed the handle with both hands and-

The world shifted and suddenly Shinji was fighting to breathe. The air felt foreign and syruppy as it flowed into his lungs and made him nauseous even as he was heavily wheezing. The itchy feeling that coated his skin had grown to a burning pain that wracked his whole body. The pure oppressive force that had come from behind the door had the child hanging on to the handle to support himself, his legs having lost feeling and all strength drained out of him; the feeling of vertigo and a mind numbing headache blocking out all senses, stopping any form cognitive thought or action.

But, just as soon as it came, the pain disappeared.

The door that had been sealed now was open, the draft coming from the darkness behind having pushed it ajar.

Gasping and shuddering from the overload of sensations, Shinji let go of the metal ring and let his trembling arms grasp at his own body as he fell down on his knees. The boy went limp on the ground, his head pressed on the cool wood of the hallway and his body shook once more. Shinji only focused on breathing slowly, trying to calm his thundering heart.

The boy was terrified now, even more so than he had been before but now… now he had reason to fear. The roller coaster of feelings and symptoms all pointed to only one answer, that was magecraft. He began to crawl away from the door, from the pain, from his problems and escape to his own room. But a single thought halted any efforts in slipping away.

Sakura's in there, where the magic came from.

Shinji realized that he was already halfway through the doorway when he finally came back to his senses. And then instantly regretted it as the stench hit his nostrils and he was, for the second time today, on the verge of vomiting. Swallowing down his bile, the boy grabbed the collar of his shirt and covered his mouth and nose. With a defiant scowl set on his face, Shinji trudged on into the darkness.

The short pathway that the door was connected to ended and formed to a stairway that, as far as Shinji could tell, went on without end. The feeling in the air, while not nearly as intense as before, still made itself known as the boy shivered from the way it seemed to scrape at his skin. He had to keep going though, not only so he could find Sakura but also so he could check if she was alright. So he continued on.

* * *

He had only been walking down the stairway for about two short minutes when he saw the sickly glow ahead and finally grasped the scope of this hidden passageway. Shinji reached the bottom of the steps and took in the vast space that stretched wide enough to fit squarely underneath the floorplan of the Matou manor. The boy would have marveled at the spectacle of having a secret lair the likes of a superhero if he hadn't looked been put through the wringer at even the attempt of entering. Even with becoming acclimated to the foul odor, reaching the source of the stench almost physically pushed Shinji back but he had come too far to leave now.

The boy walked to the end of the platform connected to the stairway and found himself rooted to the ground, stricken awe by what lay below. There was seemingly a shallow pool of pale liquid that covered the floor of the chamber and it must've been flowing from somewhere if the waves were moving that wildly. Strangely enough, there was no sound of moving water, only a noise akin to insects wiggling in molasses that had been increased significantly. The uncomfortable noise held Shinji's attention for a moment but was pushed out of his mind when he finally had taken a good look at where the fluid was centered.

"SAKURA!"

The boy ran down the stairwell, leaping to skip as many steps as possible, and found himself at the bottom in an instant. It was there Shinji realized that he had been a fool this entire time, tricking himself into thinking one way when he knew what was going on. How couldn't he understand, the books and his Grandfather's tales left no other interpretation. The "liquid" he had seen was a signature of the Matou family magecraft, crest worms.

And that meant the reason Sak-

"Now tell me, Byakuya, what should we do with prying eyes? He is your son after all."

A voice Shinji knew better than anyone else cackled, seemingly coming from all over the chamber. Shinji tried to pinpoint the source but was violently interrupted.

"You said it yourself all those years ago, the boy is useless. Can't even follow the. Simplest. Of. Instructions."

With each pause in Father's voice, Shinji's head snapped back at the force of each strike and was hurled back, slamming against the steps with a croak of pain.

"F-father, why are you do-AHHHH!"

The boy's plea was cut short by Byakuya stomping down on his knee.

"Ha ha ha ha, while I appreciate the tenacity, allow an old man to hear from his foolish grandson." Grandfather's voice now seemingly unified, had moved right next to Father. He would have tried to look him in the eyes but his vision swam with tears.

"Grandfather please, I was ju-"

"I don't believe I had asked anything of you yet, boy."

The boy's mouth clamped closed and he could swear that he heard the man smile.

"I had thought that it was made clear that you were never to come anywhere near the door outside, let alone this chamber. Indulge to me the reason as to why you would disobey such a simple rule."

Grandfather's voice quietly echoed through the chamber, with an amused tone that tore holes in Shinji's heart. He swallowed down a sob and met the eyes of the man that he idolized.

"I came down here t-to play with Sakura. I was going to p-play with her so sh-she'd feel welcome here."

Grandfather laughed harshly, his head thrown back in mirth, and turned back to Father with a sneer.

"Are you sure that he is your son? Both him and Kariya are the only two absurd enough to pull stunts like this."

"You told me it was my own damn fault when the boy failed to show any promise as your puppet, that dead bastard had no part in this."

Grandfather chucked to himself but Shinji's focus was on what his father had just said. _"...Failed to show any promise as your puppet." _The boy's mind froze and his body followed with it, ice sprouting from his chest.

"Father, what do you mean by that? You and Grandfather promised, you, you… you promised that I'd begin my training soon! What are you saying?"

Shinji's voice, which started weak, grew till he was yelling at the top of his lungs at the two men. Father let out a growl and grabbed the child by his hair, forcing him to his feet, and bent down to look his son in the eyes.

"You are useless. You were born useless. you have lived useless. And you will die useless, just like that woman that popped you out of her. You have no magic circuits and now that there's no reason to toe the line, we can be done with your nuisance."

Father then turned Shinji's head to the congregating worms in the middle of the pit and let out a sigh of regret before his face hardened again.

"The girl was chosen to be the successor of the Matou, not you. She was brought here by the Tohsaka since they already have an heir of their own and the old man accepted."

Father glanced back at the aghast look and his son's face but shook his head and continued on.

"You never had a chance to be a magus before she came here and it's time that you get your head out of your ass. You are like me and all the other bastards whose bones are down here, a damn failure."

With that, Shinji was thrown back down to the ground and Father turned back to Grandfather with a scowl, the elder still grinning at the situation. Grandfather began to speak and the two's voices became a dull hum that was incomprehensible to him at this point. The boy's spirit was broken, finding the action of even breathing to be a chore, but still… still it hoped for a purpose. Still it wished to bring pride to the Matou name no matter the cost, no matter if it was as impossible as being a magus.

The soul answered this innocent plea the only way it could, taking hold of the child's vacant eyes…

"Useless though he may be, he is still of my brood. I kept you around all these years and you proved to be even more of a waste. Gave you everything necessary to produce a salvageable heir and you still failed, at least that girl was useful in adding to my longevity."

"I don't have to pretend to give a shit anymore then? Fine by me, the hired help you have can take over. Just leave me be."

"Fine, you can despair the woes of your pathetic life without interruption, fool. Now then get th-Byakuya, sit the boy up now!"

* * *

Shinji's mind was a mess, from being slapped around and being told the truth to his face.

Of course, the boy had known from the beginning that any chance that he would be able to take the mantle of heir was slim at best. Anytime that his Grandfather had told him of the wondrous magecraft of those studying the Clocktower or the one of a kind familiar users of their home country, Russia, the boy couldn't even fathom those feats and just nodded along. They were just incredible stories that were told, nothing more or less.

It wasn't until Grandfather had pulled a book from a shelf in the library and made it flap its pages like a bird, flying around to the boy's delight. It was after that moment of awe that Shinji had understood that he would never be able to cross into that side of the world and be one and the same with the man.

He had never once felt that pure ebb of life that his Grandfather so freely let loose each time he used magecraft, the soul responding to the wishes of the mind and acting in accordance. Shinji had been able to visualize his own soul as the most basic of instructions asked of him and could feel it seated deep within himself but it seemed stuck. Anytime the boy had tried to even feel that same sensation of freeing the soul with his own efforts in magecraft, it only left him frustrated and let with a stinging pain in his head that almost seemed to be telling Shinji that he was doing something wrong.

Not now though, his soul seemed to have finally found the outlet that it was looking for and had taken hold as if to make up for lost time.

The last thing that Shinji had seen before his vision was hijacked was that girl, Sakura, so it had made sense what had happened next.

"… _Uncle …?"_

"_Sakura – I'm here to save you. It's, alright – "_

Visions flashed through his mind, the eyes transposing with the real and replacing it with the fake. But it really didn't feel like a falsehood, not with how the white-haired corpse seemed to free the very real Sakura. Shinji tried to make sense of it but before he could even begin, another took its place.

_"Bastard... bastard, bastard..."_

"_I'm surprised you came back here alive—Kariya"_

"_...'trump card' I have secreted away for this day, come on—"_

"_-st Worm. The one that first absorbed Sakura's innocence. How about that, Kar-"_

_"Go forth and fight, Kariya…. bring back the Grail!"_

Shinji felt as though his mind was being pried open and ravaged, being torn up and throwing out what had been then replacing it with the things he was seeing. The black monster, the white corpse, Grandfather; all these things forced into his head and he couldn't control it. The boy had tried to stop it but to no avail, closing his eyes to block out the illusions and had prepared to scratch his eyes to damage them but his froze up as his eyes took hold once more.

"_-memorized the incantations of summoning?"_

"_Kariya, as the Master of Berserker, fight for me…"_

The boy threw up as his eyes finally cleared from whatever affliction had taken them from him finally relented, the worms relishing in the discharge and greedily consuming it in an instant. Some idiotic part of Shinji's subconscious seemed to celebrate as his attempts with vomiting which had seeming failed up until this point, had finally been resolved. His return to reality, to the present was just as abrupt as his leaving and the whole ordeal seemed to give all of his mental facilities whiplash. It also didn't help that both F-father and Grandfather _Matou__Zouken _were both as bewildered as the boy felt and that even _TohsakaMatou_ Sakura had grown aware of his presence.

Matou Shinji managed to speak one question before the burden of consciousness was too much for him.

"Who is Matou Kariya?"

* * *

Before you ask, no, Shinji doesn't have any OP powers like the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception.

Alright, first time doing this whole song and dance and I'd appreciate if you let me know how I did. I have kinda big aspirations for this piece since it's been bouncing around in my head for the past few months and finally putting some meat to the bare bone outlines definitely is a good feeling. I can tell you right now that any chapters after this will have a little more bulk to them but as far as an actual schedule, your guess is as good as mine. I'll try for a one upload a week/week and some change but life hits you when it wants to so nothing is set in stone.

Thanks a million, DSDAD out


	2. Prologue II

Ha ha ha ha, updates every week, definitely not months late, ha ha he ho funny jokes

I do not own the works of Kinoko Nasu

* * *

**Prologue II**

Shinji never wanted a sibling.

It had never bothered him when he was young since he was always up to his ears in books once he learned to read. He was far too busy learning all he could about magecraft as the heir to the Matou so worrying about being an only child never crossed his mind. Plus, it was better that way since only one child would take the mantle of family magus so what need was there for two kids anyway?

He had truly never thought about how small his family was before he had left overseas for schooling and it really wasn't until the boy was leaving to England that it hit him. Looking out of the back window from his taxi, Shinji saw the back of his already retreating father and Grandfather's small form which contrasted starkly with the intense look he had.

And then there was the new addition to the household, looking less like a girl brought to tears by the sendoff of her brother and more like a cornered animal, body shakes and all.

* * *

Shinji had always raised up his displeasure when he heard that the two had discussed the topic of adopting a child into the family while cooped up in Grandfather's study, obviously not being able to take part in the talks themselves as he was only six himself. His father refused to even dignify his complaints with a response and just ignored him completely, only speaking to him when the man became fed up and chased him out under the threat of disciplining him with one of the many empty glass bottles that seemed to sprout up where ever he was. Grandfather, on the other hand, allowed Shinji to speak his mind so long as the boy understood the relationship between the two of them; when speaking on matters of the Matou name, Shinji was no longer just a grandson but a lowly member under the authority of the head, Matou Zouken.

"As heir of the Matou bloodline, there is no reason that I see for anyone to be added to the family. The only way a child would be beneficial to us is after many years when they can be married off but they wouldn't even share the blood that runs through our veins so what is the point, Grandfather?"

Shinji had asked with what he thought was sound logic but when it came to his grandfather, any inclination that Zouken was being insulted led to the boy being beaten by his walking stick. It had been after Shinji's lessons in Russian and so he knew it would be the best time to bring up his own grievances.

Lessons in the Matou household were less about instructing the student and more insults and berating that were used as fuel to better himself but it was only during these such moments that Shinji was able to speak with his grandfather. The topic seemed to be a rehearsed piece at this point since it was brought up without fail any time the boy could manage to squeeze it in.

Zouken had begun making it back to his study, chuckling as he saw his grandson struggle to keep up.

"Shinji, allow your grandfather the chance of having one other child to call his own. In my old age, any kind of entertainment is welcome so just call this insurance for the future. It will be a good chance for you as well to see how well you will be able to deal with situations you find unsavory."

The last part was tacked on upon seeing the look of discontent on the young boy's face, adding to the old man's mirth. Though underneath the amused look, Shinji sensed that his grandfather was only humoring him and to prolong this exchange would see that thin layer of levity torn away.

It wasn't long before one such child was found.

Sakura was an interesting case, being brought into the fold after a single meeting that Grandfather had with an outside party. The head of the Matou had apparently been in talks for a while about adopting from an outside source but had yet to reach any luck in his search, something that Shinji found odd. Grandfather could definitely be a scary man but for him to be looking for an addition to the family seemed to only be a sign of benevolence and trying to find a child for the past six years and having no success thus far was confusing to say the least. This search came to an end last year, in 1993, when both the old magus and his father had attended the meeting at the residence of a willing family and had left Shinji in the care of the hired housekeeper and had returned after only a few hours with the girl in tow.

She was cute, having arrived in a red blouse with a black ribbon right below her collar and a white skirt; there was a pink ribbon in her hair that seemed to not match at all with her outfit, as if it was hastily added on as she had left the front door. Or she would have been cute if not for the fact that her eyes seemed glued to the ground and the only sounds from the girl were sniffles and whimpering. Something that only grew to annoy Shinji as she was guided into the manor by Grandfather, his father following close behind with an odd grimace on his face.

The girl was brought in to such a prominent family and she dared to act as though it was a great tragedy!

It aggravated Shinji to no end especially since Grandfather had asked him to care for the girl as though she was one of their own, to treat her as a younger sibling. Someone who didn't even understand how lucky she was to be to live as a Matou, the most impressive of the three founding families in the creation of the Heaven's Feel ritual and having accomplishments and long-standing history that started centuries before. All that prestige and respect seemed to be wasted on such a foolish child who couldn't let go of the family that had set her aside.

* * *

The oddity of those three on the day that Shinji left for London, in both appearance and reaction, seemed to stand out less so than the fact that they were the only ones stood in front of the Matou manor. The house, if you could reduce it to such a title, dwarfed its inhabitants and with the multitude of empty windows and the overgrowth seemingly consuming it from all sides only added to the image that even having residents at all felt off. The place radiated sentiments that Shinji himself couldn't place but his driver had no such problems, "Emptiness and distressing, it gave me the creeps to be honest like a haunted house."

London gave him much the same feeling of unease, going to school and interacting with others his age. The style of life of these kids was odder than anything he had ever experienced. Children had lunches made by their mothers and would be picked up from the academy by their fathers every day. Parents took their children out to eat and to the park, for no reason other than their own enjoyment. When asked to make an illustration of their family, Shinji was the only one that stood out, having only one parent and a "ghoul" on either side of him and his sad purple mop. To be honest, Shinji was more perplexed than upset at the reaction since the boy could understand those of the mundane world acting in such a way but even those of magus blood acted the same. The twins, whose names had escaped him, were the biggest examples, being able to call their busy father from his work in Finland down to London, all to celebrate the end of the first semester.

Weak and wasteful, the boy had thought to himself but that didn't stop his doubts.

He had grown up in the manor and had only his father and grandfather around, so he had never come to the conclusion that anything was amiss. His father, while he did drink a lot, spoke to him regularly, once a week without fail, to tear the boy down both physically and mentally. Shinji knew his father wasn't even fit to be called by such a title, but it was better for Shinji this way for him to grow into the ideal magus worthy of the name Matou. Adversity was the best teacher of discipline and anything that Shinji had to shed to reach his goal was worth it, be it comfort or tenderness.

Grandfather was a similar yet infinitely different case in the ways that he taught and cared for Shinji, acting as both family and magus. The man welcomed Shinji thirst for knowledge and allowed him access to all the books and grimoires that resided in the Matou library but refused to lend the boy any aid. Matou Zouken had become such a well-known and feared magus by his own making and as such, the wizened family head expected the same from all his brood. He never shied away from a chance to tear Shinji down either, almost seeming to take joy in the circumstance. The boy would've thought that was the case if not for the fact that Grandfather did the same to Byakuya except there was no emotion in his voice other than disapproval.

Shinji took solace in that fact, that he was worth being guided in the eyes of his grandfather.

Any feeling of annoyance that the boy had with Sakura when she had first joined the family had been dulled down by the time he had left for London but that wasn't to say that he was over it. Shinji had just been able to work it off by taking it out on the girl herself. If he was going to be her big brother, shouldn't he be able to mess with her like family does? Any way he could inconvenience her he did, taunting her, insulting her previous family, and pushing her around a bit. Emulating the other two in the family seemed to be the best bet in hurting the girl's feelings since if it worked on him, it'll work on her too.

This however, changed after his return from London. Shinji had learned a lot in his time there and not all of it was from books. The boy regretted his actions from when Sakura had first joined his family, seeing how all the kids there had such strong connections to their siblings and Shinji didn't even know her favorite color. It was foolish to even think that he could be a good heir to them family when he couldn't even care for those relying on him. The girl needed him to be there for her and he had to stop being so childish.

* * *

Shinji knew he was dreaming, it was the only way that what he was experiencing could be possible.

"Nii-san, what is it? You will be in trouble if Grandfather finds you here. Just leave now, please."

Shinji had heard those exact words from the girl in front of her room last night when he had tried to talk to her to at least try to get a new start on their relationship as brother and sister. Only he already knew how this would end and couldn't do a thing to change it, seeing as he had already lived through this moment. Trapped in his own body, the only thing Shinji could do was watch.

Dream Shinji had been knocking on her door nonstop and now that she had finally opened up, his voice rushed out in an urgent whisper.

"Sakura, please tell me what's going on! Father told me to never disturb you after the lessons but I was worried. And I was right too, you look like you need help."

Shinji wanted to slap himself for saying that. The girl was being taught the Matou magecraft by Grandfather himself and he was offering to help her, not knowing a thing.

The girl's eyes, which had been trained to the floor since she had opened the door, were now blankly staring at him. Only they seemed to be looking through him, as if she was studying his soul.

"Need… help? I don't need anything, Nii-san, except for sleep and so do you. Please, go."

At that, Sakura tried to close the door but Dream Shinji had grabbed her wrist before she could put it on the handle.

"Please tell me what I can do. I've never seen you like this the entire time I've been back. I know that I haven't acted like a good brother to you but I want to help you to make up for that."

The pleading coming from his own mouth felt rancid. In what way could he have done anything? In what way could he have stopped this from happening? Shinji had been so clouded by his own delusions, he had never noticed what was right in front of him.

"What does it matter, Nii-san? My desires, my wishes, it's all a waste of time to even think about. I don't need any more lessons to teach me that it is hopeless to go back to how it was."

Sakura's eyes had sharpened the moment that he had seized her and had shaken off his hold, betraying any masked emotions that she tried to hide with the gentle way that she spoke. It had been the first time Shinji had ever heard Sakura use and emotion other than sadness and apathy, the girl finally speaking her mind rather than just allowing the world to push her around.

The boy couldn't help but feel that it had come too late.

"Sakura, wha-?"

Sakura had already started closing the door but had left the boy with one parting murmur.

"I wish I was never part of this family, Shinji. I wish I was back with my own. What can you do about that?"

It was those words that had jumpstarted Shinji in his efforts to make Sakura feel welcome but now he didn't know what to do. Everything seemingly made sense now but at the same time being lied to for this long by everyone around him left the boy wondering what else was going to end up tricking him. Everything he had done was in order to take his place as the heir of the Matou and to learn that it had all been stripped away by an outsider, someone who never even wanted such a thing, broke something inside Shinji.

He wanted to hate Sakura, he wanted to blame her for everything she had taken, for everything bad that had ever happened to him. But he couldn't, not yet. Not when he was yet to understand this fully. He wanted_needed _to hear it from Grandfather and Sakura themselves.

Shinji would never allow anyone to control him in such a way ever again.

* * *

Shinji's eyes cracked open at the sound of footsteps and murmuring and then winced, shutting them once more. His eyes felt like they were stabbed through into his brain and any attempts to blink away the murkiness of sleep only worsened the pain. After a few seconds, his vision stopped swimming and the boy was able to get a bearing on his surroundings, even as the pain remained. Shinji opened his eyes.

And nothing changed, it was pitch black.

Frantically rubbing at his eyes, the boy found that there was a cloth bandage over them. Taking it off and placing it on the bed that finally eased any worries that Shinji had about being blinded and he was able answer some questions.

He was in his room, lain on the bed over the covers; _the moonlight spilling through the curtains and gently illuminating the door to the hallway._ Shinji smiled softly; it had only been a few hours since he had passed out so no need to worry abo-

The boy jumped to his feet, there was no time to rest easy, not when he was lied to, not when he was wronged. Shinji ran to the door, intent on marching to Grandfather's study and demanding to get answers, only to stop when he noticed something haunting.

He cast no shadow, Shinji stood in front of the door and saw no shadow breaking through the moonlight. He tried to make sense of this insanity and even pinched himself, sure enough this was real life and not a dream.

Shinji flicked on the light switch near the door and to his dismay, the light from the full moon still shone just as brightly on the door even with the light on. The boy was about to start hyperventilating when he realized two things.

One, there wasn't supposed to be a full moon tonight, it was a new moon.

Two, the sounds that had awoken him hadn't stopped.

The sound of a chair being knocked over rang through the room and Shinji finally was aware of what was happening.

"_I never wanted to be a magus, Byakuya! Believe me, if I could I'd switch places with you. Make it so that you'd be the one who has to deal with the old bastard!"_

"_I don't give a damn! You got everything I ever wanted and now you're just going to run away? You are a bigger fool than I thought, Kariya. That world is no place for people like us."_

There were two men, illuminated by the moon, heatedly arguing with each other to the point that furniture was being tossed around. It seemed however any fire from the two was dying out, the two looking more defeated than defiant.

"_Fine, just… just remember that if you change your mind, let me know."_

_The man, Kariya, who had looked young enough to still be in high school when he was screaming, seemed to have aged by ten years as he uttered that final statement, crestfallen._

Father looked so much younger and the way that the two men bickered seemed to be like family but Father had never told him that he had an uncle. That name though, Kariya. It was the same as what Shinji had heard before he had lost control and had passed out.

_Kariya grabbed his backpack off the ground and shouldered it, leaving the room without looking back. Byakuya spat and grabbed the chair that had fallen over, sitting in it with his head down._

"_Bastard, you damn bastard…"_

At that moment, the moon's glow faded and the room was only illuminated by the ceiling light. Shinji's father was gone, the door that had been open when Kariya had left was still closed, and everything was as it was supposed to be. For one moment and then it began.

* * *

Shinji ran.

He ran down the stairs and through the foyer, as fast as he could.

He had to get out of here, there were too many voices, too many ghosts, and it hurt. It hurt. It hurt. it hurt, it hu**rt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt, why won't it stop please God stop it **_**it hurtsimbeggingithurtithutspleasestopstopstopstopstop**_

Shinji had no idea how long he had run for but it was only when it burning pain in his head had weakened to a dull but constant ache, that he realized that he wasn't moving any more.

He had run for so long and so hard that his body had just given out. Shinji stumbled over himself and faceplanted, too weak to even use his arms to soften the blow. Feeling the cool, almost black grass against his face calmed the boy as he gasped for air and tried to slowly calm down.

"What… was all... that?"

It had all felt so real and he could still hear the voices echoing in his head. It had felt like tuning into a phone call that was connected to city's worth of people, all have conversations on their own. There had been so many coming from all side of him in the manor that he could barely think but Shinji knew that he recognized his father and Grandfather's above all.

Grandfather's voice was the one that seemed to have come from everywhere and he had heard it the most.

Now that he had stopped in the middle of nowhere, it seemed to have stopped. The boy's wheezing was the only sound that could be heard throughout the clearing. Of his five senses, nothing was tricking him anymore, though he still wasn't at ease. Even trying to relax was impossible, the world around Shinji seemed to feel just as sickly as he felt inside.

He had tried to ignore it as he was fleeing but everywhere that Shinji had looked, he had seen the same kind of vision that seemed to distort reality.

But that was it wasn't it. Visions.

Shinji had been too distracted in the Matou basement to understand what was happening to him but now he's was slowly beginning to piece things together. He had his first vision down there and now the boy seemed to be plagued by the things. But really all that wasn't what was on his mind right now; what had to have changed in Shinji to have these things happen?

That was the question that he wanted most answered and Shinji wanted to hope. He wanted to blissfully believe that because he could see these things, he could become the magus that he had always dreamed of and honor his lineage. But that was just wishful thinking.

After being told to his face that he could never be preform magecraft and violently convinced that he could never amount to anything, it was foolish to hope.

Who's to say that he even left the basement?

After what had happened and what he had seen, it really wasn't unbelievable that Shinji was still dreaming or had gone completely insane.

Shinji giggled to himself at that thought, the pain in his head only adding to his mirth and causing the boy to roll around in a fit of hilarity. He poked his back on something sharp but paid it no mind.

Shaking off the grass from his body, Shinji gazed up at the pitch-black night sky with a rueful grin.

"Ah, I really might be crazy, huh?"

"You aren't."

A white-haired woman with red eyes came into view, standing right next to Shinji's head, startling the boy.

"Huh, what, who… who are you?"

The boy was completely taken aback at this woman's sudden arrival since he hadn't been aware of her right until she had spoken. Which was odd since he had been on edge ever since he had woken up but now that she was here, he noted her odd appearance.

She seemed to be a foreigner, with a snow-white complexion and striking red eyes. Her clothing was only a form hugging black dress with red frills and lace for contrast and she didn't appear to be wearing anything else. No socks, shoes, accessories, or anything and oddly enough, she smelled of fire. The woman seemed to be amused, patiently waiting for Shinji to finish his assessment before adding anything on. The grin on her face looked genuine but after everything that the boy had been through, he was wary.

"I'll answer your first question first, Matou Shinji, you aren't crazy."

"How do you know who I am? How do you know that?"

Any calm feeling that the boy had from before evaporated and feeling of dread replaced it.

"When it comes to matters of the Holy Grail and the Heaven's Feel ritual, there is nothing that I am unaware of, wormsbrood."

"The fourth Holy Grail War ended over a month ago! There's no reason for there to be any magus here other than those from Fuyuki! Who are you?"

Shinji had gone through a lot in the past twelve hours and frankly the boy was tired of being caught on the backfoot every single time. The fear that he had originally simmered and bubbled till he felt that he would explode, pure anger being his only outlet.

Finding the jagged piece of glass that he had rolled over earlier, Shinji jumped to his feet and pointed it up at his enemy.

"Hoh, it seems that your blood isn't full of cowards after all, Makiri."

The woman laughed haughtily and spread her arms, gesturing around the two of them.

"Have you not realized where we are, Shinji? Why is it that you were pulled here out of anywhere in Fuyuki, hmmm? Think hard about it, I know you're a smart boy."

Shinji head whipped around searching for something, anything to understand what this woman was talking about. But there was nothing around them, nothing at all.

Nothing… at all?

Shinji flinched as though he was struck and turned back to her, aghast. It made sense why he thought the space around him felt off earlier, the death of hundreds occurred on this very spot. And all this filthy negative energy seemed to stem from this woman…

"This is ground zero for the end of the war… Is that why you are here? Did…did you die here?"

"No, not here. This place is filled with regrets, fitting for such a vile ritual that only leaves such unsavory things behind. No, Matou Shinji, I am what was left behind. After all, a cracked cup has no real use."

With seemingly false annoyance, she shrugged her shoulders and moved directly in front of him. The woman crouched down to Shinji's eye level and he would have jumped away but there was something in the way that she looked at he that kept him from running. The woman reached forwards and caressed his cheek, almost lovingly with a somber look in her eyes.

"Children are now being dragged into this, what were the three of us thinking?"

Shinji tried to speak but found that he couldn't. The woman was incredibly dangerous but he couldn't help but allow her this one concession. It felt as though rejecting her in anyway was impossible, as if his soul itself refused.

"But it seems the two of us were the ones truly at fault. The Old Man was right about us."

The woman stood back up and her face returned to a grin.

"Know this, Matou Shinji, the grail wishes to be whole once more. All those that have been sacrificed yearn to have their wish granted and to be free of their worldly regrets. The specters of the grail will quietly wait no longer, rebirth is inevitable."

With that being said, the woman turned and walked away. Each step she took, the woman grew more and more transparent and after seven steps, she was gone. The gentle breeze carried the scent of fire and one final parting phrase to the boy.

"Start getting used to ghosts, Matou Shinji. You of all people must…"

And Shinji was once again left with more questions than answers.

* * *

By the time Shinji had returned to the Matou manor, it was 3 AM. The fact that the boy had ran to Shinto without stopping was an incredible feat but at this point Shinji was too tired to care about his own accomplishments. He had sent the whole day being tricked and confused; he was done dealing with any of that without having his own demands met. He needed to hear from Grandfather himself what the hell was going on.

Shinji walked through the gates and past the fountain, listening all around him. The sounds of the crest worms in the bushes and throughout the lawn might seem disgusting to most but the soft chittering of the insects calmed the boy's mind with familiarity. It worked like white noise and numbed the boy's mind, leaving nothing but that dull hum. Shinji focused on that sound as he walked through the front door.

Grandfather was in his study as usual and if Shinji was as angry as he was earlier, he would have slammed open the door, devoid of any pleasantries or manners. But he had a cool head now and he knew exactly how to keep it that way. Shinji knocked on the door.

"Grandfather, may I speak with you?"

"Enter."

Shinji opened the door and stepped inside.

The study was a room that had only ever been owned by Matou Zouken and as such was as aged as the man himself. Various one of a kind tomes and long forgotten grimoires resided in these four corners, the wealth of forbidden knowledge more than almost any other place in the world.

"Well, boy, out with it. Let me hear your sniveling complaints and childish tantrums."

Grandfather had never minced words with anyone but the fact the he was speaking so harshly to the boy, did hurt. Shinji walked up to the desk where he was and bowed.

"Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you only going to play me as a fool as long as you could?"

"No one ever told you of this side of the world, you only put that idea in to your own head and as long as you had followed what we asked of you, there wouldn't have been a need to address it. If you wanted to play at being a magus, who was I to stop you?"

Grandfather was making fun of him, egging him on but Shinji sensed the challenge that was underneath the old magus' grin.

"You told me yourself, Grandfather, a Matou is a scholar first, magus second. I only followed your own teachings."

"So you have. I do suppose that keeping you in the dark for this long was more for my own amusement, rather than anything else."

Shinji grasped the side of his head but continued on.

"You had been looking for a child to replace me ever since I was born, right Grandfather? Sakura was chosen for that sole purpose, to become the heir of the Matou."

"Yes, a woman was chosen to be your mother due to her family having a sorcery trait but it had not bore fruit and rather than wasting time with failed projects, she was disposed of and Sakura was substituted."

"Yet from what little I saw of the basement, it seems as though you are not training the girl as a Matou, are you Grandfather?"

The centuries old Matou gave Shinji an odd look before breaking out into a grin and chortling loudly. The boy only stood there awaiting for the magus to resume, not in the mood what so ever.

"Ah, I should know better to underestimate you, Shinji-kun. Yes, the Matou magecraft is not something that girl is suited for and more importantly, completely unnecessary for her purpose. The only thing she needs is to have enough magical energy to support a servant."

"Then why her? Why use the child of Tohsaka when any one child with magic circuits would have worked?"

Shinji had wanted to ask even more about what sort of purpose that Sakura had but he already knew that she was to be used as the Matou combatant in the next Heaven's Feel and knowing anything further than that would only cause the boy to become even more confused. He would piece together any loose threads later when he was able to think on it all alone. For now, Shinji had to know why it had to be her.

"Why the Tohsaka? Because we shared a common interest, they only need one child and we need one. The girl is an excellent specim-"

"I hate it."

"What did you say, boy?"

The mirth from Grandfather's voice had disappeared and had been replaced cool indifference. Something that would have ordinarily terrified Shinji to the point of tears but at this point, he was completely fed up.

"If it had been an orphan, or someone who had nothing else to lose, I'd be fine with being replaced. But she is weak, not fit to be a magus or anything in the supernatural world. The girl hasn't even let go of the Tohsaka that had so easily traded her off to us. Sakura will never see herself as a Matou, so why even bother with her, Grandfather?"

"What does that matter when she is a means to an end, boy? What last name she writes on a paper matters not when the grail is concerned. I would have never thought you to be as sentimental as your foolish uncle."

"Does honor and bloodline mean nothing to you anymore, Grandfather? You had told me stories of the glory of the Matou and how our ancestors fought through trial after trial to keep the family in power and yet you'd throw it all away. All that history trashed for your own selfish desires! Have you any pride, Makiri Zouk- ack!"

Shinji had started of in a whisper but had grown in intensity the more he spoke till the end where he was screaming at the top of his lungs. The moment that he had roared out Grandfather's name, the old magus whipped his cane across the boy's face. Shinji was knocked to the ground and when he looked back up, Grandfather was standing above him.

"It would be wise to keep in mind your place, boy. Just because you are of my blood does not mean that you are free to talk as you please. The hands have the blood of foes as well as family on them, speak in such a manner again and I will not hesitate to dispose of you."

Grandfather returned to his seat behind the desk and waited as the boy got his bearings again. Shinji swallowed the blood pooling in his mouth and tried his best to clean any tears from his face. He refused to look weak to anyone anymore though he could tell he was losing hold of his composure.

Shinji clutched his head with both hands.

He couldn't hear the buzzing from the familiars anymore.

"We are done speaking on the matter of Sakura, there is only one other thing that needs to be addressed so do not test me, boy."

"Yes, Grandfather."

"While you are absolutely useless in the capacity of a magus, it seems as though you have awakened something in yourself. Explain to me what happened before you passed out."

Shinji recounted everything, even after he had woken up and had ran out from the manor but left the meeting with the red eyed woman out. He had no idea who she was or what she had meant and the boy felt as though he was entitled to a few secrets after today. But even telling Grandfather everything wasn't distracting enough and he could hear the voices slowly growing in volume from all around.

"Gr-Grandfa-father, call your familiars. I need to hear…hear them please."

Rather than questioning the odd request, the old magus complied and the walls in the study surrounded the two with buzzing and chitters. Shinji visibly relaxed, letting out labored breaths and holding on to the desk in front of him to steady himself. Grandfather surveyed the boy before nodding to himself and grabbing an old leather-bound book from the inside of his desk.

"It seems as though you are quite special, Shinji-kun, being more worthy to our ancestors, the Zolgen than any other. All of that nonsense about honor and lineage must resonate well with your soul if you truly have taken after them."

"What do you mean, Grandfather?"

The book was flipped around to face Shinji and the boy studied it, not at all being surprised by the Russian handwriting.

"Demon hunters of old, the perception of the Reverse side of the world as _тот свет_, psychics know as Свечи or candles. What is all this, Grandfather?"

"That blood that you so cherish has a history that almost none are aware of. As you know our family name wasn't always Matou, it used to be Makiri but even before that back when I was young, we were still known as the Zolgen. Back before I was born, in the times of the early Slavic tribes, our family was a clan of warriors that fought against the supernatural. There was no magecraft in early Russia so many fell victim to evil spirits and demi-humans and it was only those blessed by Guardian Spirits that were safe. The Zolgen were not one of those so lucky and instead depended on their own instincts and willpower to take down phantasmals. By continuing to fight and grow, the Zolgen became powerful psychics that were able to kill demons and even werewolves."

"You think I am capable of things like that, Grandfather?"

"Whether or not I believe doesn't matter", the family head closed the book and set it on the desk, "I am almost certain that there was far much embellishing in the stories of old to put any stock in them. Only thing I am sure of is that you are a psychic, boy. Your eyes prove it."

Shinji was bewildered; he had expected that there was something unordinary that had happened to him but this was completely insane. Psychics, the boy had thought that something like that was just parlor tricks or just good at guessing the future but powers that human had without the help of the supernatural was mind blowing. The boy recognized the irony of acknowledging magic and magecraft existed and not believing the same of ESP but he had at least seen magecraft with his own two eyes.

"What about my eyes, the visions that I see?"

"I would have thought that it was just a simple case of you having some sort of mystic eyes but yours is more complicated than that, with your lack of usable magic circuits. I cannot place it myself but do know the term that they refer to when addressing those that do not fall under normal conventions; Pure Eyes, the ability to see that which normally cannot be seen."

"Pure…Eyes..."

Shinji almost wanted to cry, not because he had some cool new power but because he finally heard something today that was good. After all the terrible things that he had experienced, he could finally take solace in that fact.

"I understood what your eyes were once you had asked to hear the worms that I keep throughout the manor, thought it seems you cannot control it. When the power takes hold, you must either watch or distract yourself to clear your mind of the impulse, is that right?"

"Yes, the sounds of your familiars are ones I have heard all my life. They are the only way that I have found that can mask the visions, other than running away."

With that, the room went silent by its inhabitants and the only sounds came from walls. It had seemed that it was over for the time being, the two had nothing more to discuss.

"You may take that book with you, Shinji-kun. I will look over my private collection to see if there is more here that will aid you. For now, you may leave."

"Thank you, Grandfather. Goodnight.

* * *

As Shinji walked through the hallways, back to his own room, the sounds of the worms still surrounded him. Grandfather was not a good person, Shinji knew that as well as anyone that had heard of the old magus but Matou Zouken did care for those that he called his own. To the extent that most families loved their kids, no, but to say that he was heartless, Shinji wouldn't dare.

He was about to open the door to his room when he glanced back at the door opposite to his. Sakura, he still wanted to speak to Sakura about all this. He couldn't just only listen to Grandfather anymore, the man had his own agenda so Shinji needed to figure things out for himself.

Shinji knocked on the girl's door. He didn't have to wait long.

"Nii-san, you're back, do…do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, let's talk."

There was no sign of the quiet defiance that Shinji had once seen in the girl. She hadn't looked him in the eye when she had opened the door and seemed to only be doing this for the formality rather than a desire to clear the air.

Regardless, the two needed this so Shinji took a seat in front of the pile of stuffed animals he had brought into her room for their playdate. Sakura sat opposite of him, having grabbed the stuffed bear and clutched it to her chest tightly. Shinji was about to start speaking when he realized why she had the bear in the first place.

"Leave this room, there is no need for assistance anymore."

Shinji's voice countered the noises of the crest worms in the walls and after only a few seconds, the room was completely silent.

"Thank you, Nii-san."

Sakura still held the bear but there was no longer a death grip on its torso. Shinji smiled despite his own discomfort. But now it was time.

"I know about the "lessons" and everything else from Grandfather. I…I know what you have been through though I couldn't imagine what you've truly experienced. I need to hear it from you though, why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"Grandfather and Uncle forbid me from telling you anything. They said that it was useless to tell you anything and if you knew it would only make things harder."

Shinji sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"They are right, it does complicate things. I know it means nothing in the eyes of those two but," Shinji locked eyes with Sakura, "I do not see you as my sister, let alone a Matou."

Sakura flinched and her head shot back down to the ground, the hold on the bear tightening.

"You do not have what it takes to be the heir of the family and have no drive to even attempt improving yourself to the bare minimum of what it takes to be a magus. But even if you were the model scholar and magus, I could never see you as family."

"Nii…nii-san, why?"

Sakura's eyes, which at first had look worried and nervous when Shinji had entered the room, now looked lifeless and plastic. She had let go of the stuffed bear, letting it fall over, as she gazed blankly into Shinji's eyes as if to say, "you too, Shinji?"

"Because you don't see yourself as a Matou."

Sakura jolted, as if rebooting, and looked back at Shinji, tentative emotion in her eyes.

"What you said last night, it made me think a lot. You had a family, still do, so wanting to leave here makes sense. You are a Tohsaka, not one of us."

"I am still here as a member of the family, no matter if you feel that I should be here or not, Nii-san. What are you trying to say?"

Shinji glanced at the small alarm clock on Sakura's bedside, 4:12 AM. It had been ten hours since his life had changed forever. There was still so much that he was ignorant to, so much more to learn but at least anything from here on was in his own hands.

"You have no place here, everyone else may have their own ambitions and selfish wishes keeping you here but I don't. My desires are only with the Matou in mind. Even with that nonsense you said about having goals or wishes for yourself is useless, I know that you don't believe it yourself. I am telling you to leave here and do as you please."

"I-I can't, Nii-san."

Shinji smirked, despite the foolishness of the two of them. Wishes of honor and escape being quite fitting of children in a very adult world.

"Then you are weaker than I thought."

* * *

Shinji closed the door to his room. The long night was finally over, he was finally done. The boy hobbled to his bed, both mind and body completely worn out.

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

The boy grinned to himself. Turns out that pain is a good enough distraction to stop the visions, no bugs necessary. He released the shard of glass that he had clenched in his fist when in Sakura's room, the blood now flowing unrestricted. He grabbed the cloth bandage on the bed and wrapped his wound, savoring his own little victory.

There was still so much for Shinji to prepare for, so many things that the boy had jumbled up in his head but at least now, he was a player in this game.

* * *

Holy crap, how about that Rona virus, huh?

My life had been knocked around quite a bit, changing schools, majors, and moving back home but being able to take a breather was nice.

Two months ago.

But all that aside, I am back and while will not promise you an update in such a restrictive time span, just know that I'll be cranking out chapters whenever I can.

Also, I changed the rating to T cause it thought it was a bit to hasty but there is a very real chance that the rating will be bumped back to M.

Also also, I touched up the first chapter so you can take a gander at that if you wish but it is relatively the same.

Now I'll address my first three reviews,

runelt99: First off, thank you for being the first review and giving me a chance. I'll be honest with you, these first two chapters address a bunch of things and not everything will be clear from the get go. The chapters after will be more digestible, I just needed to put in the groundwork.

rantingbanshee: I understand where most of the FSN community come from when it come to Shinji and really the Matou in general but I wanna take up the challenge to write all the characters in a light where even if their actions are deplorable, you can understand the character behind it. This story will deviate from canon quite a bit but not too much at the beginning.

Mokkel: Well, I'm glad that someone likes this head of seaweed as much as I do. Hope you like what I do with him.

Now let's talk the man of the hour, Shinji. I hope it won't turn you off to the story but Shinji is still going to be Shinji, asshole to many, friend to few. I'll say it straight out here that Shinji and Sakura will not have any sort of illicit relationship, be it how he was in canon (ie. no rape) or just if you wanted the two of them to get together in the end. I will try my best to keep Shinji in character but if you think I dropped the ball and there is no way that he would act that way, let me know. Just keep in mind that Shinji's wishes and ambition in this fic is not exactly the same as in canon.

I gave Shinji a power that very few people in the entirety of Type-Moon possess because I wanted Shinji to stay as human as possible, with no magical bells and whistles like everyone else. I didn't explain it fully here because too much exposition makes for a boring read but you won't be in the dark for too long and hopefully you like what was added. Changes are gonna be prevalent for everyone so look forward to that.

Next chapter will have a pretty large timeskip, so not too much muddling before the good stuff.

So, yeah. Let me know what ya think.

DSDAD out


	3. What It Means to Be Family

There is no chapter, take off your clothes

Come on, I wanna see some skin before I give you anything else

I do not own the works of Kinoko Nasu

* * *

**What It Means to Be Family**

_Wails and pleas to be saved came from all directions with an intensity that seemed to match the flames and destruction of the hellish landscape; to any human, such a sight would tear away any sort of rational thought and leave them frozen in awe of the tragedy before them. Such things were ignored however by those who had transcended or, in this case, shed the binding of humanity and became something more. To a realized magus, no matter the road they took, the culmination of their efforts always led to this crossroad; to reject their desires, the true distinction humans had over all other beasts, and give up their whole being to reach the Root or to turn back and live unfulfilled once more._

_To one who had given up everything and more long before, the environment before him only excited him further._

"_To think that such an insignificant thing would have caused this much hysteria, heh. Truly the Einzbern are masters of creation, of their tools and their own undoing."_

_Matou Zouken walked unburdened through the chaos around him, making his way to where the climax of the Fourth Heaven's Feel occurred. The old magus had witnessed the whole war unfold before him and this one, much like the three before, ended with the destruction of the Lesser Grail. However, there was one distinct difference between this instance and all others, the grail was broken to pieces after it had received the necessary magical energy to serve its purpose. And that had tied in with another never observed phenomenon, the destruction and death lain bare on what used to be the residential area of Shinto being caused by a heroic spirit within the grail. Something that should be impossible if not for the Einzbern's choice of combatant the war prior._

_Angra Mainyu, the Avenger class servant championed by the family of homunculi those sixty years ago._

_By its will, its desire, all this devastation took place. And it continued, cursed mud still lingering staining the soil, the world in its depravity. But this was the chance that Zouken was waiting on._

_This whole war was a farce, all pieces on a board that moved accordingly to the machinations of the wizened Matou. It mattered not who fought who, who lived and who died, or even whose hand destroyed the grail; all that mattered was each piece played its part in the end and now he would walk away with the victory. _

_Reaching the spot where the Fuyuki Civic Center once stood, the magus raised his arms, willing his familiars to action. Worms pooled out from underneath his black robes at his feet and spread out in all directions like they were shot from a gun, searching all over for the spoils of war. Over and under the rubble, all around the urban wasteland, the foul creatures scavenged with one goal in mind but that didn't stop them from feasting on those poor souls that lay dying in their path. Cries of pain and misery once quieted by the certainty of death now sounded once more as death throes._

_Just as suddenly as the worms were sent out, they returned with their prize; shards of the Lesser Grail. Though the fragments looked much different than the grail had in the first instance of the Heaven's Feel ritual. Where it had shone like gold, the very image of purity even as it cracked and shattered, these were caked in the mire of Angra Mainyu, pieces jagged and devoid of anything that could be called holy._

_From here, the epicenter of this hell, only the sounds of strife and the crackle of flames could be heard but an unfitting noise broke through, seemingly smothering all else with its harsh rattle._

_Zouken's hunched frame shook as laughter burst forth from his lips, eyes lit with jubilation._

"_At last, at long last, my ambition is in reach. All these years gone by, but it is finally in my grasp!"_

_To banquet and rejoice in spite of such infernal circumstances; such a thing could have never been human in the first place._

Eyes that were closed in a dream now shot open and the world returned from 1994 back to 1999.

Shinji stared up at his ceiling and sighed. The boy got up from his bed and began to get ready for the day ahead.

* * *

**April 8****th**** 1999 **

"Sakura, I'm heading out. I'd rather you weren't late during your first week of the school year so either get a move on or just stay home."

Shinji knew he was being cruel for no reason. Sakura hadn't gotten much sleep last night, for obvious reasons, and as such was running late in her morning preparations. And he knew that even the implication of being forced to stay in the manor would give the girl even more motivation to hurry up. But it really was it her best interest, it would be bad for her if there was any suspicion put on her or the household this early in the school year.

Grandfather was already fed up with the situation regarding Father so anything more would just be adding fuel to an already roaring inferno.

"W-wait, Nii-san! I'm almost there!"

Glancing up at the staircase, Shinji was rewarded with the sight of Sakura stumbling down the steps, skipping two to three in a brilliant show of uncoordinated luck. The purplette had managed to stick the landing perfectly, her chest heaving and hair wild.

Shinji studied her appearance for a moment, the girl having sloppily donned her school's uniform. Her upper half was fitted in a white collared blouse with a red ribbon, detailed with golden trim and crosses on the ends, that sat right under her neck. The sleeves, while being obscured by the brown blazer, were short, poofy, and styled with a notch and brown trim, ending a little under the halfway point of her arm and elbow. From the waist down, Sakura wore a black skirt that rested mid-thigh, surprisingly conservative in comparison to the rest of the students from her elementary, as well as calf length socks and brown loafers. The look was capped off aptly with the mention of her headwear, a poofy brown sailor's cap; it needed no mention but Sakura had her pink ribbon on in her hair as always.

All in all, the girl looked like she was in a slice of life/magical girl anime but really in such a world with sorcery and psychics, who in the world would be bored enough to throw mahō shōjo into the mix as well?

Shaking his head to dispel these foolish thoughts, Shinji went out the front door with Sakura following closely and called back into the manor, "Grandfather, we are off."

The only reply came from the door slamming itself shut.

"Grandfather really is in a bad mood, Nii-san."

"Yeah, he is but it's not like it's gonna be like this for much longer. With luck, this whole ordeal will be over soon and we can all move on."

"Nii-san…", Sakura's voice had a pitiful whine to it and in any other circumstance, Shinji would chastise her for it but he understood. After all, she was only upset on someone else's behalf.

"Come on Sakura, it's already a quarter past seven and you need to grab breakfast from the cafeteria."

Sakura nodded silently and followed close behind. The girl had grown a lot in the past five years, going from a little under four feet to right around four and a half feet. Of course, that wasn't where she had shown the most growth, her studies for one were exceptional for someone who had missed out on one full year of schooling the year of the fourth Heaven's Feel. When necessary both Grandfather and Shinji aided the girl in her homework but for the most part, Sakura was diligent enough in her studies by herself. The girl was really coming up on her own despite her unique circumstances.

There were a few children here and there that were also on the way to Sakura's school, the ones behind seemingly falling in line with Sakura, with Shinji as the defacto human train conductor. This had been a common occurrence ever since the parents in the neighborhood had noticed the two walking together every day and had thought the boy to be responsible enough to lead their kids as well. Nowadays, once the pair came into view, mothers could be seen fussing over their children's uniforms and lunches before sending the kid off as Shinji and Sakura passed by their homes.

For the past four years, both Shinji and Sakura attended the same school, the Homurahara Academy Elementary School Division, but with the start of the new school year Shinji had moved up to the Homurahara Academy Junior High School Division as a first-year. The two really had never interacted with each other in the school itself, instead spending time on their lonesome rather than eating lunch together or hanging out with their peers. Though Shinji loathed to say it, both he and Sakura were alike in more ways than one.

"Nii-san, we've arrived at our…er my school. Thank you for coming with me."

With that, the girl went into the front gates of the elementary school, the train now following the shorter Matou.

"Idiot, it's on the way to mine." Shinji muttered under his breath but waved once to her as a reflex. He watched as she and the other elementary students disappeared through the school's entrance before continuing on his way.

The first-year fished in his bag/satchel thing for Grandfather's ancient leather-bound notebook, legitimately chagrined that the boy could no longer use a randoseru like Sakura anymore; the bags from elementary school just had more volume than these "adult bags". Shinji knew that continuing to use such a thing in the eyes of his peers would only be a hassle but he truly despaired at how the world seemed to favor fashion over functionality.

Pushing all that aside, the boy opened up where he had left off on the old thing, a reread being a common occurrence every week or so. Shinji had devoured it the morning after he had first received the book, the night that had changed the world forever to the boy.

Much of the book was filled with basic observations and rarely seemed to have anything close to concrete evidence to support its claims. It reminded Shinji of the many cryptology journals that were found by scholars throughout the years but dismissed due to their outlandishness. Of course, it goes to show how unyielding the world as a whole was to that which they refuse to believe; many if not all of those supposed cryptids did in fact exist only to the supernatural world in the form of phantasmals.

"Let's see here, where did I last stop?"

Shinji hadn't dared to modify the book at all, whether it be dogearing a page or even putting a bookmark to keep his place. This like all the other tomes and ancient texts that resided in the Matou manor were just way too valuable for that type of convenience. Finally spotting the page header that he had stopped off on, the boy resumed his read, unaware to the world.

Russian Folklore and Occultism and the ties to the Zolgen magecraft.

As told in the stories that my father heard when he was young and his father before him the same, the magecraft of our family is one rooted in the claims that our ancestors were once incredible psychics whose innate ability allowed them to bind those of the _Нечистая сила_ to themselves akin to daemon possession. The Zolgen demon hunters supposedly used their own blood as a conduit, normally by slashing the palms of their hands or the tips of their fingers and flicking it upon the body of their foe. The psychic would then be able to imbue that same blood with a form of astral binding, subjecting the target to intense pain as the magical energy that it holds within is cannibalized in an attempt to preserve its life instead of being used to escape or counterattack. This interaction between Zolgen psychics and their opponents is almost exactly the same as Daemon possession though reversed. While this does allow for mere humans to utterly cripple beasts and entities that are far stronger, it is not a risk-free way to fight as evidenced by the lack of psychics in the family as of now. Still, it does bring to light how our magecraft possibly originated. Being perceived as "Binding something to one's self" from the user and "Absorption" by overseers, it does have much in common with the tales of the past. And it does draw an easy parallel to the affinity that our blood has with curses; I must study this further.

Signed, Makiri Zolgen

Shinji had almost committed the entirety of Grandfather's notebook to memory but he enjoyed reading it still all the same. It was one of his most precious mementos from the magus' past before even the Mage's Association, when he was still a child intent on learning everything that he could. It was like a window into the mind of a less jaded and hopeful man, a stark contrast with Grandfather who now shared nothing but his distain of the world and the boy cherished it.

Shinji turned the page and began to start reading once more.

"It is said that those most skilled in the Zolgen possessed special ey-"

"KYUDO CLUB IS LOOKING FOR MEMBERS AND… HEY YOU! OI BOOKWORM, DO YOU WANNA JOIN KYUDO?"

The thunderous roar of what could only have come from a supernatural beast who had leapt from the pages Shinji was reading damn near shattered his eardrums. The boy fumbled with the notebook as it seemingly hopped out of his hands but managed to get a hold of it without any damage done. Shinji then turned the source of the disruption and let out a growl.

"The hell are you yelling for, it's still morning, you idiot!"

The disruption in question was a redheaded girl wearing the standard Homurahara Junior High uniform, long blue skirt down to the knees and navy sailor top but had two striking additions. For one, she was holding a rather large sign with "KYUDO CLUB" written in big red letters and it that looked as though a strong wind could carry the girl away with a board that big. Second, and even more baffling, the girl had black face paint streaked on both of her cheeks, adding to the sportisy look that she already had with her tomboyish looks. It seemed that there were quite a few other students advocating for their own clubs near the front gates of the Junior High but they seemed to understand social conventions well enough to not be screaming their heads off before noon.

"HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"CAN'T HEAR M- Forget it…", The boy just hurried past the rowdy girl, trying with all his might to ignore her booming voice but even still could hear her howling about benefits like a club field trip and the chance to see Homurahara Academy's impressive archery range.

"We're only on the fourth day of the school year and I'm already sick of everything about this place."

* * *

The school day had gone by in a blur since the first week was just a formality to get students back into the swing of things after the spring vacation, only basics and reminders of things that were learned not that long ago. It wasn't like Shinji would have been against going full throttle from the get-go and having the heavy workload that was present during the weeks prior to exams but it really didn't matter to him. All things that he heard in these four corners were essentially useless due to the sheer amount of self-study Shinji had done ever since he had returned from London five years ago. Even after finding out about Sakura, the boy had found ways to educate himself further, juggling both knowledge of the supernatural and the mundane world to create a mind that could accept and adapt to both sides of humanity. Even though Shinji knew it was completely beneath him, the boy still relished the chance to gloat when his intellect ended up besting others.

Like he was doing now.

"It sure would have been foolish for anyone to have messed up that English tongue twister that we had gone over in class, don't you think Ryuudou-kun?"

"Ah ha ha, right you are, Matou-san! But I would also think that it would be unbecoming of an oh so intelligent mind to talk down to others, don't you think?"

The two boys laughed woodenly together, teeth clenched and hands slapping each other hard on the other's back. Some students stopped and stared at the odd display but most just carried on their way, exiting the school.

"I suppose it'll be much the same today as all the other days, hmm, Matou?"

"Yeah, at the very least, your father and brother are doubly entertaining in spite of your total lack of charisma. Even the monks seem to have less of a stick up their ass than you, four eyes-kun. How can you expect to be the student council president if you are this dull all the time?"

Issei grit his teeth and resisted the urge to retaliate in fashion, instead taking a page from the students around him and heading off the school grounds. Shinji took that as a win and followed after the rapidly retreating temple heir with a grin.

This had been a common exchange ever since Shinji had first visited the Ryuudou temple at the beginning of the last school year, seeking somewhere, anywhere that would be free from the visions that seemed to cover Fuyuki. There was another reason as well but so long as it was a one-time occurrence like the white-haired red eyed woman in the Central Park, there was no reason to even think about it.

At first the trip had seen fruitless, the sounds of the first Heaven's Feel happening just below Shinji's feet but after meeting Old Man Ryuudou and Reikan, the boy was brought into the temple and forced to have some tea, much to the dismay of the youngest of the family, Issei, who tried to explain that coercing a minor into a concealed locale was wrong no matter what circumstance. Shinji had then saw fit to ask if he should fear for his chastity, embarrassing the boy and leading to the two men busting out laughing. It was only once Shinji was preparing to leave when he asked the old man if there was any place that he would call untouched, which had led to the Ryuudou elder taking the boy up to the edge of the temple's land to a cliff overlooking the hills that bordered Miyama. On this strip of land, Shinji, was for the first time, able to relax completely in spite of his eyes and had decided visits to Ryuudou temple were going to be a weekly occurrence.

Ever since then, Shinji would go with Issei from their school to the temple on Thursdays and Fridays, to both enjoy the true silence, at what he dubbed as "his alone place", well as meet with the monks and the Ryuudou family. While the two older members enjoyed Shinji's presence and the monks had fun having another child to show their teachings and martial arts, the same couldn't be said of Issei. It seemed as though the two were oil and water, always trying to one up each other and never getting along no matter what the circumstance. For Issei, Shinji was a rude, aloof braggart that could only find happiness by the misfortune of other while Shinji himself found the bland, by the books nature of the boy to be so blatantly cliché for a student council president to-be.

To say the two were enemies however would be incorrect and calling them friends was something that they both wouldn't abide by; they just mutually tolerated each other's presence to take advantage of the benefits.

"After Aniki and the monks give you a beatdown, help me with the English homework, Matou."

"Just get the tea and an icepack ready, alright Ryuudou? And your old man went over some katas with us last week but I still can't move my hips right before the strike so we're gonna do that after."

* * *

Shinji waved away Issei's offer to walk him to the temple steps, it was only a little after six so there was still light out. There had been some sort of commotion in the living area of the temple so Shinji had decided to cut the visit short and leave, catching snippets of the monks' conversations on his way out the temple.

"The man… few hours ag-… with the clothes on his back."

"Apparently, he… over a hundred miles on foot… no family or place to return to."

"Ryuudou-jūshoku said… staying with us… on his feet or decides…"

It seemed that there was a new arrival at the temple but it wasn't any of his business so Shinji continued on without investigating. He could just ask Issei or the old man later and if the guy was still there, he'd have a chat with him. It's wasn't unlike Shinji to act like a second Second Owner ever since he had actively become a part of the supernatural world but the circumstances that he had overheard from the monks did raise some suspicions of note.

But that was a problem for another day, Shinji already had his own share of things to deal with.

Walking through the torii, the boy felt the shift from being in the enclosed space of the temple's Bounded Field to the regular world outside. It had made sense that somewhere that housed such an important leyline would be well protected but to think that only this particular entry point allowed safe passage to the temple only heightened Shinji's respect for humanity. He had once asked Old Man Ryuudou about it but he had only grinned and ruffled the boy's hair before changing the subject to the story behind the yearly festival, the Ryuujin Matsuri.

Beginning his descent down the many steps of the Ryuudou temple stairway, Shinji thought back to how much had changed over the past five years in his life. Since the secret was out, Grandfather had seen no need to hide the fact that Sakura was being trained with crest worms and now the girl could be taken at any time of the day to the basement. Shinji hadn't gotten angry at Grandfather any time after the night he had found out due to one simple fact, Sakura herself hadn't spoken out, still accepting resistance was futile yet not believing it herself. There were many things that Shinji could tolerate but two things that he could not stand were hypocrites and liars and Sakura managed to be both quite easily. He knew that there were greater sins, hell him standing by as something like this happened to a young girl was one sin he himself was committing but the fact that the girl seemed incapable of trying to save herself disgusted the boy. The two of them were dealt a shit hand by life and it was up to them to make the best of it.

To the outsider looking in, Shinji was just as bad as his Grandfather and to be honest, the boy accepted that wholeheartedly but they were of magus blood. Conventional family values meant nothing to them if there weren't results being made from being tender and cozy together; a magus's only goal was to further the study done by their bloodline until it culminated into a path to the Root. Sure, there were magus families that cared more for their bonds than anything else but none of their names stood the test of time, all of them fell to ruin or just faded out without even a whimper. Only those bold enough to challenge the definition of what it meant to be a human had a place in history and of the three founding families, the Matou were the ones that pushed the boundary the furthest.

The boy now made his way past the Homurahara Academy, though it seemed to be empty of everyone other than the staff and continued on.

Shinji himself had changed quite a good deal, standing a few inches taller than Sakura but still needing to look up at Issei at four feet eight inches. The boy had begun to grow out his hair, the longest parts now reaching the back of his neck, and kept it slicked back but a few stubborn strands still hung down on to his face. The black Junior High uniform gave the boy the look of being some sort of thug or delinquent but those in his class knew that was father from the truth. The thing that had changed the most however was Shinji's face. Years after being able to see things best left forgotten had given the boy a resting scowl at all times and the rest of the boy's face was always tight as though he was anticipating something everyone else couldn't see. It also didn't help that the shadows under his eyes were now a mainstay of his appearance due to both his insane studying habits and the dreams that plagued the boy.

Now making it to Mount Miyama, Shinji glanced at the stores that lined the shopping strip and stopped once he had found one in particular. The flower shop was one place that the boy had found himself visiting often as his studies had shifted from magecraft to more accessible fields, like herbology and alchemy. He was now a regular at the place, with the owners Kaito and his wife, Shiori often giving him discounts so long as he brought "his own flower", Sakura, with him every once in a while. Shinji grabbed a few flowers and took them to the counter to be trimmed and prepared. It seemed as though the two excitable owners weren't present as there was only a part timer in the store but it was probably better that they weren't since they enjoyed talking the boy's ear off. Shinji payed and made his way to the Matou manor.

Even if there was much that the boy had learned, he had not progressed at all where it mattered. The book that Shinji carried with him every day had detailed the supposed feats that the Zolgen psychics had been able to perform but it seemed like these particular skills were only suited for opponents of the supernatural nature and nothing that would come in handy against humans. And it wasn't like there were any spirits or demons to test his ability on, though even if he could, he wouldn't for two reasons.

One, Shinji knew that the forest that protected the Einzbern Mansion in the outskirts of town were supposedly filled with ghosts but the chance that he would trip a bounded field and piss off the German homunculi was too great a risk. If there wasn't a consequence for trespassing on magus territory that would end with the boy's life then there were other issues. He would at least like to meet the Einzbern master face to face without the threat of being killed on sight.

Two, and more importantly, Shinji couldn't manifest any sort of psychic power, from the book let alone whatever other nonsense that humans were capable of. Try as he might, the boy had no luck at all with trying to train himself with no guidance.

But that wasn't where his problems stopped. Any attempts to use his eyes for anything other than unwanted visions bore no fruit though now he was able to control it to the point that the pain wasn't debilitating anymore. "Pure Eyes", Shinji had scoured the entirety of the Matou library to find even a mention of his particular affliction but there was absolutely nothing there. Even after Grandfather's assurance that he would look at his own private collection, the elder had not returned with any sort of lead though he rarely did anything other than spend time in his study and train Sakura anymore.

Shinji could now see the manor from the end of the street, only having one light on out of the many windows meaning that Sakura was in her room.

If there was one thing that Shinji could say definitively, it was that his eyes were key for his own desires. The way his Pure Eyes worked was relatively simple, if there were any events that had to do with the Matou that took place near the spot where Shinji himself was, the boy would be forced into a vision. Most of the time, the visions were of members of the Matou family, with Grandfather being the most prevalent, but if the people involved were important, regardless on if they were blood related or not, they could appear in a vision by themselves. The visions had given Shinji much to think about and after the five years, still seemed to have an endless well of knowledge though now the boy found himself wondering if there was any honor to keep in his family. Vision after vision, day after day, month after month, year after year, there was no end to the vile actions that he witnessed. All things that Shinji witnessed after the first Heaven's Feel ritual were things that the boy wished he could purge from his mind; death and depraved fusing together in an amalgamation of sins that could never be washed away. To think that at the beginning, when he had first awoken his eyes, Shinji had thought that the worst thing he had ever witnessed was Sakura with the worms but that didn't even scratch the surface.

The Makiri magecraft was terrible itself and as was its master, Zouken, but the family itself was cursed. God himself must have condemned the blood running through his veins.

Shinji opened the front door to the manor and stepped inside, the familiar rustling of Crest Worms greeting him. The boy made his way to his room, passing through the foyer and up the stairs before making it to his door and entering. Shinji tossed his bag down near his bed and dropped the parcel of flowers on to his desk to experiment with later, stopping briefly to grab a vial from one of the drawers. Giving the desk a once over, he noted the time on his miniature clock read a quarter past seven. The boy left the room quickly.

With how Grandfather had been acting the last few days and how bad he had been today it was clear that things were getting worse; everything seemed to be getting worse. Shinji walked briskly to the other side of the hallway, palming the tiny bottle in a practiced manner and entered his father's room.

* * *

Byakuya Matou was not one known for a strong mental fortitude or really anything that had to do with tenacity in the broadest of terms. No, the man couldn't be pinned to a single act of defiance or courage unless it could instead be a way to weasel out from his own pain or discomfort. It would be easy to look at the man now and only point out the shortcomings but life, and more importantly history, are more complicated than that. Byakuya had lived a life in the shadows, even more so than most of the Matou, his mere birth labeled as a failure not unlike his son. From the moment, he was brought into the world, Byakuya was reminded of his own inadequacy in everything he did. The gap between the birth of him and Kariya was the smallest possible, nine months, so the boy hadn't even begun walking before the rug was pulled out from underneath his crawling and he was forced to the realization that he was of no consequence to the Matou. Sure, he was fed and reared the same as his brother but the way Zouken looked at Byakuya tore at his mind and Kariya always seemed to take the elder's levity, in regard to him, for granted.

The two brothers really couldn't have been more different; where Byakuya was subservient and resigned, Kariya was insubordinate and passionate. Some of it had to do with their own personal disposition but a brunt of it had to do with how ignorant Kariya made himself to the magus world. With how the two grew up, it was impossible to completely shut out but Kariya had been determined enough to disown any and all rights of the name Matou the moment he could legally do and as in most things, his older brother had no such determination. Byakuya was skipped over by Zouken once he had seen that Kariya had more potential but that didn't mean that the patriarch would just throw aside a perfectly good tool so he was dragged into the depths of the supernatural at a younger age than even Sakura. The things that Byakuya had been told and what he had experienced as a child molded the man who stood by as he saw the five-year-old girl he adopted be violated by depraved magecraft; the sum of life without any comfort other than drinking to forget.

So, it was fitting that the man who would do anything to shy away from pain would live to the point where living itself was the pain. Mother dead before he was able to pronounce the damn word, wife… wife gone after the birth of their useless bastard of a son, and brother got himself killed the same dumbass way that he had left the family, with no goddamn idea what the hell he was doing. If there was any consolation, Zouken was right when he had taunted Kariya that year before the Fourth Holy Grail War, "That's right. I might probably outlive the likes of you and Byakuya's son in a distant future." He welcomed being outlived by the old man. His pain would be gone, his mind would be clear, it would be bliss finally, no matter heaven or hell. Anything was better than here.

Byakuya would finally be able to die, thank god.

* * *

Oddly enough, this room wasn't Father's originally. The room that was now Sakura's used to be his though the man had apparently switched rooms shortly after Shinji's birth. It was one of the rooms that were on the larger side in the manor, competing with the master bedroom/study but losing in the length department. Shinji had always disliked this room more than any other even without adding his father to the equation.

His father looked much the same as he had been ever since the man had drunken himself to a stupor, leading to most of his motor controls failing via the stroke he had received and leaving him bedridden. The was no indication that he had seen Shinji enter the room so the boy grabbed a chair seated by the wall and placed it near the right side of the bed. It looked like Sakura had already prepared dinner for him, as a tray of food and a glass of water sat next to the man on a bedside table. Shinji glanced over the man who had never once treated him as a son and cleared his throat.

"Father, I'm here. How are you feeling today?"

There was only silence. No different than usual.

"Grandfather seemed to be in even worse of a mood than usual due to your condition. Has he come to see you since the last time?"

Surprisingly, this too netted no reaction from Father, other than the sound of a heavy exhale. The last time Grandfather had visited was right after the man had become bedridden a month ago and that had been the last time anyone had heard him speak. From then on, even the mention of Grandfather would cause Father to enter a state of caution, frantically looking around and studying each shadow as if the old magus was hiding out, just waiting for his guard to be lowered.

The Matou patriarch had been in a foul mood ever since Father had fallen ill since all affairs of the mundane world were handled by the man. Such things were now piling up and Grandfather's patience was growing thinner and thinner.

"If the fool has no more use, he should have good mind to find a hole to crawl into and die; even beasts know that much. To be useless is worse an insult to our blood than a lack of diligence."

Shinji glanced at the window, the soft rays of the sunset peeking through the curtains.

"He has already given me most of the tasks that you had been taking care of with the most recent of which being the family's finances and the those regarding the Matou estates, both Japanese and English."

Even though Shinji knew that his father wouldn't answer, it had become a routine for the boy to tell him the important bits of his day in hopes that the man would become active again with recurring stimuli but that wasn't the problem. It wasn't that Father couldn't speak, it's that he wouldn't speak; the man was making a conscious effort to stay silent.

"I'll admit that even as a drunk layabout, you managed to make it look easy juggling all these different things. I wonder, if you had taken a page out of Uncle Kariya's book, you could have been a killer salaryman. Though I imagi-"

"I'm ashamed to have even hear you compare me with that lowlife bastard, Shinji. Here, I thought you had respect for your old man."

Startled, Shinji almost dropped the small vial but managed to keep it in his grasp. The boy turned away from the window and back to the hoarse voice of his father.

With the last stretches of sunlight illuminating the room, the man's face, which was normally obscured by his curtain of hair and habit of avoiding eye contact, was unveiled and the boy winced. The right side of Father's face was slack, a side effect of the stroke, and bared no emotion but the left was stretched in a sneer that looked manic on the normally dour man.

"Father, wha-"

"Save it, Shinji. It doesn't matter. Right now, I… I need to talk to you."

If there was any indication on where this conversation was going to go, it did not show on the man's face. The boy swallowed before calming himself; this was serious.

The man had turned away, looking out the window like his son had been previously, only showing Shinji the expressionless side of his face.

"I know your plans, Shinji. I know that despite what the two of us had told you all those years ago in that damn basement about you having no talent in that world, you plan to take part in the same idiocy that dumbass brother of mine got himself wrapped into."

"Yes, Father. I am. As the only blooded Matou, I have a responsibility to-"

"Fuck your responsibility and all the other bullshit that was about to spew out of your mouth. You think that any of those bastard Matou before us would give a damn about having their honor upheld? No! Not one single person would care since they lived their life the same as every other poor soul in this family. Full of misery and pain because of the old fucker!"

Father spoke heatedly though the man had barely moved, other than balling his fists in the bed covers. The rays of light that had been on his face now rested on his lap, the room going ever darker. Shinji himself was just as still. Father had never spoke so candidly to him before so the boy was hanging on each word.

"The best thing you could do for yourself is to drop any notion of pride that you have in the Matou, Shinji. I would think that you of all people would see our blood for what it is with those eyes of yours."

"It's not that simple, Father. My eyes show me not only what our family has done but those that were around or close to the Matou as well. Though there is a lot you are right about, there are reasons why Grandfather acted the way he has. Grandfather wasn't always-"

"Wasn't always what, Shinji? Wasn't always a vile old ghoul who knows only to take, take, take with no end to his own selfishness? Wasn't always a soulless bastard that had no problem taking those that he cared for and torturing after each and every minor transgression? Wasn't always the type of fucked up magus to slaughter an innocent woman with those damn worms just because her son wasn't good enough in his eyes?!"

Father's voice never raised in volume but the intensity of that question had the same effect as shouting at the top of his lungs at the boy. The man had turned to face him now, rage still on the surface as he stared the boy down. Shinji flinched as though he was struck and his eyes sank down to the ground. He knew that what his father was saying was true but to hear it out loud, that Shinji's mother had been tossed to the crest worms and murdered by Grandfather, still shook the boy to his core. It was the biggest reason as to why the boy had never once travelled back down to the basement ever since he had awoken his eyes.

He had never once cared to think about his mother when he was younger due to how the topic was avoided by Father and Grandfather, their only explanation being that she had died and that there was nothing more to it. For a short period of time after Shinji had uncovered the truth, the boy had resented his parents for bringing him into the world a failure and had confronted his father for his own hostility.

"If you've hated me from the moment I was born then why even bother keeping me around? You should have just killed me."

His father hadn't even bothered looking away from the bottle he was nursing before answering, "Can you guess… what the first thing that came out her mouth when she saw you, after you were labeled a waste by your grand old grandpa? She said that you were perfect, she said that you were perfect even though she knew that she was going to die for giving birth to such a useless child. She just kept repeating those damn words over and over again as she was taken down to that basement to die. Those were the final words she ever said and they are the only fucking thing I can hear when I try to remember her. And you… you are the only thing that I have left of her."

"…"

"Don't ever ask me about this or her ever again. Get the fuck out."

And that's why he hated this room; the room he was born in. Once he had learned that this was the room his mother was in last before she died he had attempted to use the power that had normally came so easily to him.

But it didn't work.

Try as he might, no matter how much it would hurt him to see her final moments, Shinji couldn't see his mother in any vision; he could never hear her voice.

Shinji shook his head, now was not the time to wallow in his own thoughts. There was reason for the way Father was acting. He wasn't bringing this up because he cared about the boy's wellbeing himself, it was because he had loved Shinji's mother so much that he wouldn't allow something she held dear to be lost in vain.

"Honor and lineage may not have meant anything to you, Uncle Kariya, or even Grandfather but I will not abide with the Matou name falling any lower into the mud. There has been too many killed, too many lives that have become entangled with the sins of our blood to act as though I don't care. I must do this."

"Even if this foolhardiness ends up killing you?"

Shinji cracked a smile, the first show of true emotion he shared with his father in years.

"Come now, Father. You know I'm too stubborn to die without seeing my ambitions through. I refuse to die by anything but my own terms."

Father's hands, which had still been holding the duvet tight, slackened as the man seemed completely taken aback. There was a moment of silence, where the now completely dark room lost all tension before it was softly broken.

"Hah, he really did take after you. That same kind of hardass nature that got you stuck in this mess."

"Father?"

"Don't worry about it, Shinji. Just promise me one thing, even if it all goes to hell, even if you fail, don't you dare have regrets. No matter what happens, live just like her."

Shinji only nodded.

"Do Mizu… do your mother proud, Shinji."

"Ye- yes, Father. I… it means a- Thank you for this, Father."

Shinji got up to leave, wiping at his now misty eyes but stopped for one moment. Father had turned his back to the boy and had lain back down, giving him the chance now. Shinji took the vial, which was still held in his hand, and slowly began to unscrew it while inching closer to the glass of water on the tray.

He was interrupted.

"You can leave the bottle on the table, Shinji. There's no need to dilute it anymore."

"What? Father, you knew?"

"You think I haven't noticed that I've been getting sleepier and sleepier each day? Stopping me from drinking and trying to medicate by drugging my water, yeah it had surprised me too. But there is no need anymore. I've had enough."

Father still hadn't turned back to face Shinji and didn't look like he planned to. The boy almost grabbed his shoulder to reason with the man but stopped and took a deep breath.

Shinji's face returned from being panicked to his natural dispassionate expression though his eyes were hardened.

"Are you sure, Father?"

"It's been time enough for me. You've grown up well enough without my help and I think now's a good time as any."

"I… I see. Goodbye, Father."

Shinji left the room with a nod and did not look back.

Byakuya was left alone in the room he had shared with his lover long ago. The man turned to face up at the ceiling and grinned as well as he could. He raised his left hand upwards as if reaching for something unseen and spoke out to the empty room.

"I refuse to die by anything but my own terms… word for word, huh. You would have loved to see him now, Mizuki."

* * *

**April 11****th**** 1999**

It was an extremely sunny day for a funeral, especially since the last few days had been covered in a heavy overcast. The black button-down Shinji was wearing was a little loose but with it being a new purchase, the boy wasn't about to gripe. This was going to be the first funeral that Shinji ever attended but that wasn't surprising. In the two hundred years that the Matou had lived in Fuyuki City, there had not been one single member of the family that had been buried in either of the two graveyards in the city.

Father was the first and only Matou to have ever have the honor of a grave.

Father had passed away later that night after taking the entirety of the sedative that Shinji had left on his bedside table. Shinji had known if he left that room, it was going to be the last time that he would see his father alive. As much as the two disliked each other, he had never wanted to let his father's life end that way but… but it wasn't his decision to make.

It hadn't been his decision for Father to stay alive or die but there had been one of Shinji's own making. To the Matou, the only witnesses of a funeral were the thousands of worms that would leave only bones in their wake and as such Grandfather had been against such a useless tradition such as a burial. The boy however fought with the old magus for hours on end refusing to relinquish the body of his father without promise that the man would be treated with dignity.

It would have been easy for Zouken to have just forced Shinji to give in by way of his familiars but even at the threat of being covered by the things and being consumed with the dead body, the boy still defied him. If it had been anyone else or any other circumstance, the ancient Matou would have called his bluff but the look in Shinji's eyes reminded himself too much of another defiant child from ages ago so he relented.

On one condition.

"The body will be buried in the cemetery on Mount Enzou, I despise Christians and my hatred for a false follower of the faith is even more so. Have those esoteric monks deal with it."

That had been the best outcome possible in Shinji's eyes since he knew that the Ryuudou family would treat Father genuinely when putting him to rest. That being opposed to the cemetery outside of the Fuyuki church in Shinto, where the only available funeral officiant was a man that Shinji would never willingly get close to.

Kotomine Kirei.

Which brought Shinji back to his current situation, walking back from the flower shop in Miyama to the Matou Manor so he could pick up Sakura. Shiori had pushed her husband away, demanding that he make the best bouquet of flowers for the boy and had fussed over him herself. The motherly twenty-four-year-old was already emotional without any stimuli but after hearing that the two young Matou were on their way to a funeral had turned the woman into a clingy mass of limbs that was sure to hug your sadness away, only with the side effect of getting snot in your hair. Once Shinji had pulled himself free, he tried to pay before Kaito shook his head with a grin and the boy understood, thanking the couple and headed on back.

Sakura was outside the manor, waiting patiently but there was a hint of something just hidden from the surface. After living with the girl for the better part of four years, Shinji had begun to understand her emotions even though she rarely let them show and he could tell that bitterness was bubbling up inside her. Rightfully so but regardless of how Sakura felt about it now, it would be terrible for the girl in the future if she missed this so Shinji had revoked her right to.

"Come on, Sakura. We have to make the bus heading into town or else we'll be stuck walking there."

The girl only nodded, following dutifully after Shinji as the two began their walk to the bus stop. It had only taken a short few minutes to reach the stop and after another momentary wait, the bus arrived and the two were off once again.

It was half past ten in the morning and the bus wouldn't arrive at the drop off for another fifteen minutes. They would be late to the funeral but Shinji had wanted that anyway, it would be for the best if they were only there long enough to pay respects.

Sakura seemed to be keeping herself busy with surveying the passing buildings but she was incredibly tense, arms pressed to her sides and hands tightly interlocked. With each passing minute, the girl became more and more closed off with her face taking on that plastic expression. Anything the boy could have said would only be for his piece of mind so he stayed silent, letting her fall into deeper and deeper emotional turmoil.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bus finally reached its stop and the two were able to reach their destination, the Shinto Cemetery.

There weren't many other people there, only a small group of adults at the entrance and a few scattered visiting their own departed. But none of them mattered, not to Shinji and certainly not to Sakura. Though, the boy could spot something that already made his mood shift for the worse.

"Hey, Sakura, right over there. You see where I'm pointing?"

"…Yes, Nii-san… I-I'll be back."

Shinji let the girl go, watching as she ran full speed to the grave he had singled out for her. He looked away, it wasn't his place to watch someone else mourn and with everything else Sakura has gone through, she deserved some privacy. And so, his attention was switched from one Tohsaka to the other.

Rin must've noticed the two had come after the funeral had ended and had hidden herself behind the internal gates of the cemetery, crouched. Her eyes were trained on Sakura completely, pain obviously reflected on her face. She was so distracted; it didn't take much for Shinji to sneak up on her.

"Hey."

"WA-mmmmmm!"

The older sister had jolted up right but had managed to cut off her scream before any attention was drawn to them. Rin schooled her expressions before turning to the boy, ready to give him a piece of her mind, when flowers were pushed into her hands.

"What are-"

"I'm sorry for your loss, Tohsaka. Losing a parent isn't easy and it's even worse when you feel like there was something you could have done."

"… I had heard that your father had passed away during this week as well. You didn't have a funeral for him, you just had him buried near Ryuudou Temple, right?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was going to be worth the trouble of organizing such a thing so we went without it. No worries, I know you wouldn't have come if we invited you."

The fake amicable air between the two was torn to shreds at Shinji's scathing off comment.

Rin's face was wiped of its polite school idol mask and she now looked swallowed something disgusting, scowling with eyes fierce. Shinji's expression hadn't changed, still having the faux friendly look on his face.

"Humph, I have no idea what you are implying, Shinji. If there was an invitation, I'd gladly show up to give your family my condolences-"

"Based on what I've seen right here, it looks like any meeting with my family would only include me since I don't have a sister. Though it seems like you like to act as though you don't either."

The girl flinched and her face shot to the ground, fists clenched and frame shaking.

"How…how dare you. To reject Sakura for something that wasn't in her hands. You are the worst!"

Shinji ignored her and looked back to the grave of Tohsaka Aoi. Sakura was kneeling there, shivering and overcome with emotion though the boy knew even without her face in view that she wasn't crying. She had long since sealed away her tears.

He grit his teeth.

"To be this much of a hypocrite, man, you two really are sisters. She is over there, distraught at the death of her mother and the only person that could comfort her is hiding away."

"What would you have me do? She isn't a Tohsaka anymore. As much as I wish I could, Father told me to stay away for both of our sakes."

"And you would listen to some fool who got himself killed after pretending to be such a wise magus? I suppose you think I should take relationship advice from my Uncle Kariya as well."

Rin dropped the bouquet and her arm shot out, grabbing Shinji by the collar of his shirt and roughly knocking the boy into the wall behind them, angry tears pooling in her eyes. It had hurt a bit, getting his head slammed into solid stone, but it was necessary. If Sakura was too weak to make the first move then it was up to him to force Rin.

"Insulting me is fine but don't you dare say anything about my father, Matou. He was a great man, a-a better man then you could ever be!"

"If only you had this fervor about protecting your sister."

Clicking his tongue, Shinji grabbed her wrist and wrenched her hand off his shirt. He wasn't so much angry as he was disappointed, both of these girls were too foolish for their own good.

"She still cares about you, never talks about it but she wears that ribbon every single day without fail. And I know that you feel the same way."

"… Why are you telling me this? Trying to make me feel even worse after my mother died?"

"Sakura isn't a Matou. She can act like one, look like one but I'd still never accept her as family. Not when she has one already, not when she silently wishes otherwise. She plays the part well but… it disgusts me. Every time that she calls me Nii-san, I want nothing more than to slap that faker across the face. Lying to someone else is one thing but to lie to yourself, that pisses me off more than anything else. And the two of you are masters at it."

Rin's face contorted in grief once more but Shinji had enough of this useless back and forth. It was obvious that there was nothing more to say, there wasn't a thing that he could do to force the girl into action. He began to make his way to where Sakura was but his wrist was grabbed from behind.

"Please… care for Sakura. If you don't, there's no one else who can. Please, I beg you."

"I don't need to hear that from anyone, much less you. Now, let-"

"Does there seem to be a problem here, Rin?"

Shinji jumped away from the source of the voice, almost knocking the girl latched to him over, and got in a defensive position.

_When he suddenly noticed what he was doing, Kirei had already begun administering first-aid curative magecraft onto Kariya's body. Carrying Kariya, whose condition had become stable despite in a deep sleep due to his actions, he left the battlefield, and left him in front of the Matou residence whilst stealthily concealing himself from public gaze._

"_Ah, that thing… Of course, there is no problem. You just have to come to the church at midnight tonight. I will make the preparation for you to meet Tohsaka Tokiomi then."_

Events that Shinji had only witnessed in visions or in his dreams now came back with the force of a train as the priest made his presence known. The boy had gotten a few feet of distance away from the man but that didn't make him feel any better; Kotomine Kirei was a killer, five feet or five hundred feet, it was no difference to him.

"The Matou boy, I wasn't aware that the two of you were acquainted, Rin. Now then, there is no need for such hostility in such an occasion."

"Everything was fine until you stuck your head where it didn't belong, Kirei. Anyway, we were done talking, right Shinji? …Shinji?"

The boy hadn't let his eyes stray from Kotomine Kirei. Though he didn't want to admit it, Shinji was terrified at the man's very presence. One of the three survivors of the Fourth Holy Grail War and one of the most dangerous combatants that even Grandfather had admitted would be a hassle to deal with. His skin crawled at even the thought of going up against such a monster.

He had to think fas-

"Shinji, what's wrong with you! For someone with no tact, you could at least pay attention when someone's talking to you."

Shinji was pulled from his thoughts when he was wacked over the head with a bouquet of flowers, the wielder wearing a vindictive grin. Even though Rin had schooled her emotions back under her everyday mask, the boy could still tell that what he had said was still on the forefront of her mind.

The two really were too alike.

"Ah yeah, sorry about that, Tohsaka. Well then, I'll grab Sakura and the two of us will be on our way."

"Yes, thank you for coming."

Shinji moved swiftly, giving the robe-clad man a wide berth and began his way to the grave where Sakura was now standing. But he stopped before he left earshot of Rin and turned back to her.

"I meant everything I said, Tohsaka. Don't obsess over what has already happened, you can only change your future. The same as me with my father, I'm sure your mother would want you to live without regrets."

With those parting words, Shinji left Rin and Kirei standing there and made his way to Sakura.

* * *

In the twenty minutes they had been in the Shinto Cemetery, the clear skies had become populated, making the sunlight weaken.

Sakura hadn't spoken while they had left the cemetery and Shinji hadn't say fit to saw anything himself. The two silently walked back to the bus stop and got on to return to the Matou manor. They had made it to the fountain in front of the front doors when Shinji decided to break the silence.

"I'll talk to Grandfather about postponing any training till to-"

"Thank you, Nii-san. You didn't have to do this for me, just the knowledge that my… my mother passed would have been enough. I thought I wouldn't feel anything but… I needed to see her there… Though I wonder where…"

Sakura's voice trailed off but Shinji knew what she was asking.

"Come on, Grandfather is impatient as it is. He'll want to talk to you about today."

Sakura nodded and the two entered through the front doors as the sun was obscured behind the clouds.

* * *

_23rd of Ianuarius, 1547_

_This is to be my first entry in this diary. Mother had given me this early this morning and had told me that recording one's own experiences is a good habit to have and that I was old enough to start now. I know that Grandfather and all the other elders also keep such things but to me, this seems a bit foolish. Other than myself, who else will ever read this thing? There are way more important things to be doing right now but here I am writing in this book like a fool. The Tsar was crowned only a week ago and was called "Tsar of All the Russias" and I hear that he is to be wed soon. That's all everyone seems to talk about, Tsar this, Tsar that so I know that it's important but for what reason, I have no idea. It's not like the last ruler of Russia had done anything of note so why would a man who took the throne at almost half the age that Grand Prince Vasili had, cause any sort of trouble at such a young age. With all this unrest in the family, none of the adults have had the time to assist me with learning magecraft though I am making progress on my own. With luck, I can begin to train with the family familiars soon and show Father how much I have learned. This should be enough for now, though I loathe to return once more._

Excerpt from the diary of Makiri Zolgen

* * *

Translation corner

_Нечистая сила _means Unclean Force which regards to the supernatural world, Mages and Phansasmals alike

jūshoku is a title that means head monk in a Japanese Buddhist temple

Translation finito

Hey now, I think I'm hitting my stride. Going from an update after four months to one after half a month.

This chapter was kinda hard to get out, not because I was struggling for things to put into it but more with how much to fill it with.

That and FGO, damn Skadi's arrival sucked up all my quartz. I managed to get her with only 4 quartz left (thank you EOR 10 quartz quests). I don't know if any of you guys play it here but here's my FC: 382,792,524. Don't have too many spots but I'll add you if you're a consistent player.

I didn't want to have a timeskip in this chapter and then stay in 1999 for another one or two more. I wanna be there in the action of the Fifth Holy Grail War as much as you guys do.

But worldbuilding and character development are kinda important too.

I'll address a few thing before I jump into your reviews and man, can I say thanks for that? 15 reviews for the last update? That's a 500% increase! Shit's wild so thanks all around.

Now then, about the schools I listed. There seems to be no information about schools other than Homurahara Academy which is grades 10th through 12th so I took a teensy bit from Prisma Illya and now there is Homurahara Academy Elementary School Division, 1st through 6th, and Homurahara Academy Junior High School Division, 7th through 9th.

There were two familiar faces that showed up this chapter and while I won't say much, this is going to be a trend. I kinda hate OCs so if there is a perfectly good side character, you can bet your bottom I'll use and abuse them as I see fit.

I hope I articulated it properly but it's been 5 years; Shinji has grown from 7 to 12 and Sakura from 6 to 11. I also added in Shinji's birthday since there was no mention of FSN Shinji having one. His birthday is May 5, 1987, like EXTRA Shinji except for the year of course.

To get a good idea of what Shinji looks like now, take a look at the Type-Moon wiki page on Zouken. There's an image of what the man looked like before he lost his body and Shinji looks like a younger version of that.

I made it my mission in this fic to address the actions and motivation of characters that were tossed to the side in the source material and Byakuya Matou is one of them. In FSN and Hollow Ataraxia, he isn't even given a name and in Fate Zero, he exists just to make Kiritsugu more edgy and I didn't like that. There never was an explanation as to why the man never cared for Shinji so I tried to make a believable one myself, the boy being the reason for his mother's death. He loved the woman enough to keep living when most would have killed themselves, just so he could make sure the child she gave her life up for would grow up safe.

Byakuya still personally hated Shinji though.

Also Byakuya didn't get one of his hands shot off by Kiritsugu in my story. That shit is just over edgy.

And to those astute readers and frequenters of the Type-Moon wiki, you'd know that Byakuya died in 2001, three years before the story takes place but really the man served no purpose dying then so I changed it. Like how I added a date to Aoi's death, to just spice things up and mostly as an excuse to get Shinji and Rin alone.

I especially wanted to show in Shinji's interaction with Rin that it wasn't just Sakura being too scared or too broken to run away. Rin also played her part in being complacent with their separation and that's why Shinji cornered her.

Anyway, reviews. Let's hit it.

BlueCore: Thank you for the praise. Believe me, the sun will have to burn up to stop me from finishing on of the 39 (can you believe there's only 39 fics of best boy?) Shinji fics.

Mizen: I'll keep 'em coming.

runelt99: Glad to see that you're back for more! Hope I kinda answered your question but I can't really go much deeper than that right now. There will be more Zolgen/Makiri/Matou history as we go further.

FakerHero: Not gonna say much here other than the war will begin the same, masters and servants alike.

RayDjok: Glad I have readers that share my own sentiments.

Guest: I imagined that Shinji must have had a pretty rough life so abuse seemed fitting. I'm glad that you're interested.

tarrasque698: De nada mi amigo. Espero que también te guste este. (Using Google Translate so sorry if I butchered the Spanish)

TodayParade: Yup, I feel that "buffing" Shinji into a magus really wouldn't do his character justice seeing as it was that failure that led to his depraved downfall. I appreciate your enthusiasm!

downix2k: I aim to please.

Ragnas Bredvolts: Now I don't like picking favorites but damn it, if I said your comment didn't put a smile on my face, I'd be lying. Thanks for liking where I'm going with this and yeah, Shinji and Sakura's relationship is something I wanted to draw attention to. The two of them are of magus blood meaning that even though Sakura goes through some terrible stuff in her childhood, really that's just par for the course (I'll admit the Matou take it pretty damn far). I hope you have a GLORIOUS DAY TODAY.!.!.!.!.!.!.?.!.!.! as well!

Langas: It's easy to break the mold when there haven't be many Shinji-centric stories but I am glad that you like it so far.

Blackgold Night: I'm gonna be honest with you, much of the reason I didn't update my story for 4 months was because I was reading up on Hollow Ataraxia and Kagetsu Tohya. That and laziness. If psychics being able to perform magecraft is from Kara no Kyoukai, Mahoutsukai no Yoru or some other Type-Moon work, I haven't see or read them yet. I will watch KNK probably in the next week but for this story, Shinji will not be preforming magecraft, formalcraft or otherwise. I feel like it kinda defeats the purpose but thanks for letting me know!

Mokkel; One of the OG Three, let's hear it! About the changes they made regarding the OG visual Novel and Realta Nua, really other than Shinji and Sakura's relationship, all that other stuff will stay the same. Sex can still replenish magical energy and all that jazz. Main reason they kept it in the HF movies is because sex is kinda really important in the HF route of the VN, it shows sides of both Sakura and Shirou that none of the other routes do. This is a recommendation for any FSN fans, if you read the VN, no matter how cringe it is, read the poorly written sex scenes as well.

Hunger Man: You are preaching to the choir, my man! The fact that there was a Shinji route in the works but was scrapped is evidence that Nasu wanted to do more with him. I am gonna keep working of the foundation of the VN but expect more coming from Shinji and other underdeveloped characters. Also, if you are planning on posting your own story, I'd love to take a look at it.

And now for my final topic, the diary of Makiri Zolgen. The VN and all the side material that Fate has released still has very little information on the origins of the three founding families, so I added my own version to the mix. This will basically be an infodump of how I think the man who once wanted to create a peaceful utopia changed to be barely human, selfishly seeking immortality.

Damn that was a lot of things to say, but I'm done for now.

Remember to drop a review, positive or negative let me know.

Now I got a date with Umineko, so see you guys in the next one.

DSDAD out


	4. The Weight of Ideals

You ever just double your word count due to the fact that you have no sense of self control?

I do not own the works of Kinoko Nasu

* * *

**The Weight of Ideals**

**July 10****th**** 2002**

"That old coot said what?"

Shinji ignored the rather amusing display of Issei making an "X" with his arms and shaking his head in the negative, to the point where it seemed that the temple heir's glasses staying on his face was an action defying the laws of physics themselves. The teenager opened his mouth as Reikan let out an exasperated sigh and put his head in his hands.

"Still not sure why you are making this big of a deal out of this but Fujimura-oyakata said he wanted to have to have dinner with me for helping Taiga by dragging some stuff back to the Fujimaru estate, main reason why I showed up late today; you can ask Issei, he was there too."

The normally mild mannered Ryuudou Genkei let out a roar of indignation and slammed his bowl of rice down, turning to his younger son in question. Issei was doing his best impression of a tatami mat, laying completely flat and inching closer and closer underneath the chabudai to avoid the man's ire but such a halfhearted attempt at escape had no chance of working.

"Issei, you were at that fossil's lair? The hell you got behind those glasses; a head full of water? There is not a single good thing that can come from dealings with Fujimura Raiga, I know that I've said this to the both of you high schoolers. Damn bastard is friends with the police chief. How the hell does the head of a crime family end up buddies with law enforcement? The work of devils no doubt..."

The end of that statement turned to grumblings about how the yakuza boss would incur divine punishment for his very existence and Issei wisely ignored that.

"Dad, I had no idea that I was going to get roped into this until Shinji told me he needed help with something! By the time I was face to face with Fujimaru-sensei it was too late to say no; if you want to blame someone, that unrepentant idiot across from you is a good place to start!"

Reikan shook his head at the scene before him, turning to the only other person in the room.

"There really isn't a boring day here when Shinji visits, huh?"

"It seems the boy will never change; he is just as incendiary to those around him as when I met him three years ago."

Reikan grinned in response and laid back to enjoy the show as the bespectacled man continued to eat dinner, unmoved by the chaos in front of him.

"Why were you even in a situation where you would go there? Kiritsugu's boy should have taken care of things for that fool."

"Emiya…"

Giving Shinji a quizzical look at his whispering, Issei turned back to his father; the student council secretary still lain flat on the ground.

"Emiya Shirou was injured today at his part-time job, bad enough for Fujimura-sensei to leave for the hospital the moment she heard. He was burned pretty severely, though thankfully only in a small area, and has a bone fracture in his right shoulder. I'm going down to the hospital to check up on him tomorrow."

"Hmmm, fine then. Though Shinji, you should really get rid of that habit, getting roped into the affairs of those around you. There is much of life to live without keeping track of everyone else, learn to relax once in a while or you'll end up like Souichirou-kun. Being that rigid will get you nowhere with women," Genkei said, glancing between the teacher and teenager in question.

Souichirou Kuzuki looked up from his bowl but didn't bother responding.

Shinji grinned at the man's reaction, things like marriage and other life milestones seemed to never be a priority for the high school teacher. He seemed completely content in his rather simple life and the fact that he lived in a Buddhist temple was fitting enough; if the man had taken to the faith, he would have been a model monk.

Of course, that was what Kuzuki projected out as his natural image; if anyone knew of his past as a tool, such an unfulfilled existence would be a given.

"It's just the way I am, you've known me for four years. I would have hoped that you would have gotten used to it by now."

Genkei ignored the teenager and surveyed the room. Everyone had finished up dinner with the exception of Issei, who had abandoned his bowl to seek safety instead. With a groan, the temple elder cracked his neck and nodded to Shinji.

It was finally time.

"Shinji and I will be taking a walk for a while. Reikan, take care of my nightly duties and Issei, help out where you can. Tell your mother I'll be off the grounds. I think that we'll be out for quite a while so don't wait up for me to return."

Genkei got up and stretched a bit before glancing back at his empty bowl with a small grin. "Oh yeah, tell her dinner was exceptional, boys. Best I've ever had."

The two brothers gave each other a certain look as their father and Shinji made their way out the room, one that was common when witnessing the lovestruck antics of their father. Even after thirty years of marriage, the pair still stayed as toothachingly sweet as ever.

Walking down the long hallway that led from the inner rooms on the side of the temple to its inner courtyard, Shinji watched as the passing monks busied themselves with their own tasks. There wasn't an idle soul in these four corners, each one doing their part to keep the body of such a spiritual place as beautiful as its soul.

And without fail, every single man who crossed their path paid respect to the Ryuudou patriarch, words of gratitude and admiration with a light in their eyes that could never be faked. Such a love given fitted a man with a heart like Ryuudou Genkei.

As the two walked, Genkei broke the momentary silence. "I feel as though I am always repeating myself to you Shinji, but do you know the history that the Ryuudou family has with Mt. Enzou?"

"I do, though I know that you enjoy telling me this story just as much as I like hearing it."

"Hah ha, I have always liked that about you, Shinji. Always one for tales of times long past, something that my boys never had much of an appreciation for. Well then, allow this old timer to indulge himself!"

The pair made their way from the courtyard to the outer wall that bordered the temple, where the back gate of Ryuudou Temple resided. The large wooden gate, which was normally barred this late in the day, stood unlocked as per Genkei's orders and so the two continued forth through the doors.

"My ancestors had come from a lineage of lowly monks, dedicated and disciplined but lowly all the same. To come into contact with anything otherworldly was unthinkable for a man of their standing, pure maidens who dedicated themselves to the shrine of a Shinto god or those who supposedly had the blood of youkai running through their veins, those are the ones who would cross paths with the supernatural."

The full moon in the night sky illuminated the forest of Mt. Enzou, moonlight dancing through the verdant canopy. The lake that sat at the temple's back reflected the pale light, the stillness of the water providing the perfect imitation of the lunar body.

"And for most of the tales with gods and spirits, it is the unnatural who collides with humans but not in the case of the Ryuudou blood. Travelling as a wandering priest, one of my ancestors had come across Fuyuki and had decided to rest here before beginning his journey once more. The man had arrived in the city expecting to experience the same peace that we are sharing here today but instead was met with destruction and sorrow as the lands were ravaged. Coming across the fleeing denizens, the monk was told that at the middle of the city, where the land was split into two by the river Mion, a fierce dragon god had become angered by the lack of reverence that the townsfolk gave to the being; the river deity had gifted the lands bordering its river to humans long before and had received offerings throughout the years but as time went on, the tributes dwindled till at last they stopped completely."

Shinji had heard this all before but he relished in any chance to hear it once more. It had been a long time since Grandfather had told the boy tales of the past and so having such a talented storyteller like Genkei was truly appreciated.

After all, hearing about the past beat visions of the past, ten times out of ten.

"Once the townspeople had pled for the man's help, the Ryuudou monk made his way through the ruined city to where the dragon god still stood, the deity's control of the storms and water continuing to lay waste. Taking note of the man's arrival, the winds and waves grew in intensity as the dragon god placed his full attention on the human. The man was easily dwarfed by the deity and even sharing the same air was a trial in itself yet the good-natured smile on the monk's face stayed in place, the two facing another only separated by a few feet.

It could easily be said that in a duel of strength, one regular human has no chance in overcoming the might of a god; the only way to subdue such a thing is not with the body but with the mind.

"So, you are the great and mighty lord of the river Mion, Dragon-san?"

"**It seems that this speck of land is not the only place in the world which houses fools, for a lowly vagrant to come to my dwelling at such a time. I have no such patience for those who mistake idiocy with bravado. Speak your final words and make peace with your god."**

The monk through all of his travels had never come to face a being like this but he knew how to deal with the type; those who were quick to anger and ranted haughtily were most susceptible to the simplest appeals to emotion."

Shinji and Genkei walked on the man-made path that led from the back gate of the temple to the bridge over Mion river. The forest surrounding them was just as enchanting as the lake before it, completely peaceful with only a light breeze rousing the branches from their slumber. The head monk still spun his tale, paying no mind to the path he was on, eyes to the skies as he led the boy through an untrodden trail known only to those trusted with the protection of Mt. Enzou.

"Would such a magnificent and wise deity such as yourself truly burden itself with such a task? Dragon-san, you have governing over the forces of nature themselves, to lower such a divine ability as a means to maim and murder would only sully your impressive visage. And what a shame that would be!"

"**And yet, fool, you still address such a revered god like myself as Dragon-san. Is it not you who has dragged my nature as a divinity into the same mud that you humans inhabit? To be treated as one of your ilk instead of being lauded in tongues of respect, truly there is no greater disgrace."**

Though the words the dragon god spoke were threatening, the being's voice reflected no such malice. The deity now was more curious than irate, studying the human who dared to speak to him as though he was an old acquaintance or mentor instead of regarding the god in the highest of respect. The monk, still grinning, moved even closer to where the river met the bank; the river god and man being only inches apart. The dragon god had mirrored the movements of the human, lowering itself from its lofty position of supremacy to the same level.

"Why, Dragon-san, it is not that I have no respect for one as almighty and understanding such as yourself, it is because of that very fact that I am able to speak in such a fashion! Rather than being truly vengeful and dispassionate like deities of lower quality, you embody the traits that ones such as myself wish most to gain and nurture as you have! As a parent would chastise an ungrateful child, Dragon-san, you have done the same with those of this city and just the same as a parent forgives the transgressions of their children, you too will absolve the townspeople of their lack of reverence. For one as wise and graceful as you, why, it would be remiss for me not to speak as though you were an old friend: Dragon-san, you have gifted and guided humanity from ages long past, to see you as an ally is the greatest honor a man could know."

The dragon god mulled over the words of the monk, still looking the man up and down for a sign of deceit but once more finding nothing other than that very same smile on his face. Nodding to both himself and the masterful manipulator before him, the river deity raised itself back to its natural stature and stilled the raging tempest that covered the city.

From that very action, the townsfolk had known that the Ryuudou monk had been successful in his efforts to calm the dragon god and had returned to find that the once decimated city now stood once more even stronger than before. Wooden houses that had once sat in disrepair, roofs bowed and foundations rotted, now looked newly built and the same was said for the roads and other infrastructure.

The only signs that there had been such violent divine fury was the ground, damp from the storms, the rainbow that stretched from the top of Mt. Enzou to the center of Fuyuki, and the very monk who had appeased the dragon god, drenched head to toe.

And that of course is the reason that we have the Ryuujin Matsuri in the summer, to both give offerings to that same dragon god and to honor the memory of that monk."

Genkei had spoken of this story a countless amount before but his voice never failed to show the pride the man held in regards to this tale. By now, Shinji could tell that the two had traveled a longways down the back of Mt. Enzou, the woods rife with the song of wilderness as Ryuudou temple had disappeared from sight a while back.

"The Ryuudou temple was created by one of my ancestors, a little under one thousand years ago, and has stood as home of the Ryuudou ever since. Allegedly, it was said that the founder of the temple was the same monk who calmed a deity with only wit and flattery though other than that same tale, there is no other evidence to say the same. This mountain has always been a place of spirituality, from the god of the river Mion or being naturally crafted by the Earth itself, the answer doesn't matter. The grounds were constructed with the protection of that in mind, bordering walls all around and a simple way of entry and exit. The temple had always had an entrance from the front and rear, though the torii at the top of the steps leading to the temple was the first thing that had been created after the walls had been put up. The walls and the torii, protection from both man and spirit, have served this temple without fail for the past nine hundred or so years with those of Ryuudou blood charged with that same duty."

Upon finishing his tale, Genkei suddenly stopped and crouched down, moving carefully down an earthy slope to a softly flowing stream of water coming out an indented section of the mountain. Shinji made his way down as well and noted the features of the weathered rocky hollow they were in front of. The cave was obscured by both the shadows of the forest and the gnarled roots that enveloped it, as though they were a curtain of hair and the fact that it was so small didn't help at all. The only indication that there was even something of note there was the fact that water seemed to spout out of solid rock.

"Whoa there, Shinji. No need to go any further."

"Wh- huh?"

The teenager had somehow walked past where Genkei was and had been stopped by the man before he had strayed. Shinji turned back to small cave, a bit embarrassed but mostly impressed. There was definitely magecraft involved, some kind of compulsion to turn away but it also seemed as though the mountain itself was hiding it away, the way the rest of the forest was pulling him from the entrance. It was a pretty foolproof method of keeping such a place safe; if you weren't specifically looking for this spot, there was little chance that you would have stumbled upon it.

"Well then Shinji, here we are. The core of Mt. Enzou, a place that has been protected by us monks ever since the temple was constructed. Heh, or rather _should_ have been protected by the monks."

The temple elder let a self-deprecating laugh at the afterthought, the merry mood he had during the mountain trek quashed. Shinji opened his mouth to say different but changed his mind; even if he told the man why it wasn't the fault of Ryuudou Temple, explaining exactly what happened and how he knew wasn't possible.

The less that knew of the Greater Grail's condition the better.

The Matou crouched down in front of the hollow and peered deeper. The small cave seemed to go on for a bit but it only a few feet in and Shinji could tell that there was no way that he would be able to fit further, the walls growing closer the deeper you went.

"Just through here then. I don't suppose that you can do anything with the illusion?"

With a light nod, Genkei raised one of his hands in a praying motion and closed his eyes, whispering something under his breath before speaking normally.

"_Release,_ _false vision._ Now then, this is as far as I go, Shinji. Been in there once years ago and that was enough to keep me from ever wanting to go back. I'll be out here till you return."

"You sur- never mind, old man. Thanks for the help as always."

Shinji knew that Genkei had reservations about the cavern where the Greater Grail resided but to know it was to this extent was a bit shocking though not unbelievable. Now that the illusionary wall had disappeared, the air around the entrance had become saturated with magical energy that reeked of impurities. His skin crawled as the same sickly feeling that he had felt when he had encountered the corrupted Lesser Grail in the central park all those years ago washed over his body.

"Well then, I'm off. See you in a bit."

The teenager entered the cave, disappearing for sight almost instantly and Genkei was left alone in the forest. The man shook his head at the boy's seemingly devil may care attitude; it seemed that Shinji himself hadn't noticed the way his hands had begun to tremble just before going in but that was alright.

It beat being too cowardly to even attempt the same.

"Whatever you're looking for Shinji, I pray that you won't find it in there. Nothing good could come from such a place."

* * *

It seemed that Shinji was right to assume he didn't need a flashlight to see down here, there was a weak green glow coming from the walls of the cavern that was just enough to see where he was going. The walls had opened up from a cramped space that only allowed one-person passage to a comfortable distance that would allow him to fully stretch out his arm span yet still not touch anything. And due to the fact that the greatest of the Fuyuki leylines was under this mountain, the cave gave off a vast amount of life force with each breath refreshing him. All in all, the place looked as though it had been ripped from some fantasy story where the hero would find a hidden weapon or magic tome.

That feeling of adventure was torn away however by the malice that poured from every facet of the cave and each step the teenager took made the weight of it grow larger.

Shinji kept going though, ignoring his innate sense of self preservation and reached an area of the cave that had opened up vastly. If he could guess, the viewable area was large enough to fit an Olympic sized swimming pool with space to spare, seeing as the roof of the cavern was so far up that he could barely make out the tiny points up there as stalactites. It wasn't that much a surprise since Shinji knew that the area that housed the Greater Grail was even larger due to the necessity of having a big enough working space for the array of its magic circle but still it was breathtaking in a way.

Though he was a bit astounded with the state that the cavern was in, giant craters and shattered stone littered throughout the area, some places even showing signs on intense heat; melted rock and the layer of soot throughout.

Walking to the center of the cave space, Shinji could feel a light ache behind his eyes; the largest crater sat there and the familiar feeling grew stronger the closer he came to it.

"I knew it happened down here but really… Would have thought they would have fought it out in the next area but I guess not. Guess Grandfather and the old Tohsaka had some kind of sentimentality after all."

Shinji allowed his eyes to take hold as he stood in the middle of the room, at the bottom-most point in the crater, the surroundings staying much the same except now there was the thunderous clamor of war and the quaking of the earth. The Matou had only a moment to acquaint himself to the sounds around him before he heard a somewhat familiar voice cry out.

"_Lancer, strike them down! I don't care if your Noble Phantasm brings down the mountain with them, just end that servant now!" _

"_Archer, do the same! I refuse to die when I am this close!"_

_The tremors in the cavern died down at the cries of the two magus and the heroic spirits ceased their combat and jumped back to where their masters were, still locked in battle. The two human combatants were wounded, covered with blood and dirt, but that did little to hinder their fighting ability. Nagato rushed forward, striking at the worm familiars that were spewing from Zouken's robes with his hands and feet and obliterated each one with a single strike. Zouken in turn ran towards the Tohsaka and let forth a salvo of high-pressure water bullets while preparing a mightier attack. Nagato, fists covered in a green glow, countered the volley of water effortlessly but realizing that the Makiri magus was readying magecraft, called upon the magical energy stored in his jeweled necklace and began channeling his own spell._

_The entire cave space was bathed in light as the two magus and their servants prepared their final attack, the air vibrating as the mana all around became thick enough to be seen. With a roar, the opposing sides let loose their stored power and for a moment, the world stood still._

"_May this inferno blaze as brightly as the one in my heart, Lúin of Celtchar!"_

_The flaming spear of Lancer erupted as if it were a volcano, shooting out a plume of flames that bathed its user in a cloak so hot, the rocks underneath the servant melted to lava instantly. The servant leapt up, a blur underneath roaring fire, and threw the weapon with all his might._

"_Fly true and fly far as commanded by the Jade Emperor, Nine Arrows That Struck Down The Nine Suns!"_

_Nine giant arrows appeared nocked on the suitably titan sized bow of Archer, each formed from impossibly tough tendons of an ancient dragon, and the heroic spirit was enveloped in a light that rivaled the sun's intensity tenfold. Archer pulled back on the bowstring with his entire being, spirit origin straining under the immense weight of the task, and let loose his volley._

_The human masters refused to let their servants do all the work and brought forth their own final offense, striking each other with the last of their reserves._

"_None shall stand in the way of my life's purpose, not her or you, Tohsaka! безжизненный поток!"_

"_You think I give a damn about any of that anymore, Makiri! It is over! If you refuse to accept it, I will force you! Immer Füllend Hohl!"_

_The stream of supersonic impossibly frigid water burst from the Russian magus with the force of a geyser and collided with a gem empowered barrage of hollow magecraft shot forth from the Japanese magus and at that same instant, the noble phantasms of their heroic spirits clashed._

_From that point onwards, the guise of a ritual for the betterment of the world was ripped away and the truth of its savagery was lain bare._

Shinji let out a groan and rubbed his temples as the vision faded, eyes shut in pain; the intense sensory onslaught of witnessing a battle of the Holy Grail war was taxing to say the least.

"Ah… damn… that was flashy as all hell. Not nearly as intense as the end of the third but still… Wonder if you still have it in you to fight like that?"

Catching his breath, Shinji waved off the sensations of the next oncoming vision and continued on his way. He had come here for a specific reason and watching his grandfather duke it out with magus from two hundred years ago was not it.

He'd just look into it on his way back since it wasn't all that important, he already knew the outcome of the First Heaven's Feel; witnessing it with his own eyes was just redundant though not unwelcome.

But just pondering about while Genkei was waiting for him was both rude and foolish so the teenager resumed his trek through the cavern, travelling as quickly as possible through the rocky expanse into another small corridor.

The path had become increasingly darker as the boy made his way further from the open area, the green moss having petered off as the corrupted energy of the Grail completely overtook the leyline's mana. It wasn't pitch black for long however, as the cavern opened up once more and the area was bathed in an eerie crimson light. That glow coming from the spire shooting out blackened flames atop the gigantic wall at the back of the cave.

"So that's where you were all this time, huh?"

Shinji had murmured that quietly yet his voice carried throughout the entire area, echoing slightly. The boy paused as if expecting a response but continued walking until he reached the sloped wall separating the rest of the cave from the Cup of Heaven. And with each step he took, Shinji could see the rock scoured deeply with magecraft, creating a huge array for the magic circle; no matter where he turned his eyes to, it was all etched with layer after layer of crests forming a massive circuit powered by the leyline.

Climbing the steep rocky slant, Shinji was once again subjected to the oppressive weight of curses that were originating from the corrupted grail above him though it did little to slow him down. He was driven to reaching the Greater Grail no matter what, something this insignificant had no chance of stopping him.

Plus, all this malice with no direction was nothing compared to the atmosphere of being in the presence of real inhuman monsters.

Upon reaching the top, the teenager was hit with a wave of heat, the grail letting out another burst of fire. Though the heat was odd, his skin itself felt clammy and littered with goosebumps despite the intense inferno above him so he just chalked it up to the side effects of the infected magecraft. Looking up at the thing now up close gave the boy a new perspective on the immenseness of the Cup of Heaven which reached up over the height of a skyscraper. The ground he was walking on was impressive as well, seeing as the most complex of the magical circuit was laid down on this plateau; the most important and initial of which being under the corrupted grail, creating a perimeter thirty feet around it.

A pain behind his eyes burned as Shinji moved closer, a warning. He winced, eyes twisted in pain as his whole frame shook from the sensation; this one was especially torturous in comparison to normal memories.

"Must be because he was part of this one too. Well, no use waiting for it to subside. No matter what, it's just downhill from here."

Shinji breathed deeply and walked forward to the edge of the original magic circle and upon breaching it, opened his eyes to the vision.

"_Hmm, judging by my calculations, the initial magic circuit will have to stretch out this far, Makiri-sensei. Is that going to be enough space for you and Einzbern-sensei to house the Cup of Heaven?"_

"_Let's see here, the circle will be this wide and will have eighteen layers all to account for the flow and storage of mana from the leyline and then… you did this… then that… and covered that from transitioning from the rigidity of Germanic magecraft to the more malleable Asian magic circles. Fantastic job, Ayaka-chan. No doubt better than your father could have ever done. Come, let's show Justeaze your brilliant work."_

"_You can't say that, Makiri-sensei! I'm still a growing magus, there's still so much I have to learn before I can say I'm better than anyone."_

"_Well then, that's why I'm the one saying it, child."_

_The fourteen-year-old may have said that seriously but the way she giggled at the praise from the senior magus showed her true feelings. Beckoning the girl to follow him, the Makiri head rolled up the paper the two were looking at and began making his way to where the Einzbern homunculus was resting further back in the cavern, taking advantage of the abundant magical energy the place was giving off to replenish her own._

"_That girl could at least try to be proud of her father, rather than getting starry-eyed at those two foreigners. Damn brat."_

"_Hahahahaha, the girl has more of an earnest interest in magecraft than you ever did, Nagato. It is only natural that she would gravitate to those that have made the study of it the forefront of their lives. Still though, you and your family never fail to entertain me. I have high hopes that quality of your blood will continue on long after this, I can't wait to see how much amusement the Tohsaka will bring me in a few hundred years."_

Shinji's consciousness grew dim at the very sound of the man's voice but he managed to hold on, bracing himself for his appearance.

"_Glad to see that all my family amounts to is a cheap laugh, Old Man."_

_Zelretch turned back to Nagato, still gauffing loudly, but schooled his expression to a wide grin at the glare his pupil was giving him. The two stood at the edge of the plateau at the complete opposite end of where the trio of Justeaze, Zouken and Ayaka were congregated, only a few feet from where the Greater Grail was to be created._

_Nagato made to speak once more but Zelretch beat him to the punch._

"_It's been eight years, hasn't it? Since the three of you began this experiment of yours." _

_Nagato turned away from the Wizard Marshall to where his colleagues were, spoiling his daughter with their praise and let out a sigh. "That it has, eight years ever since you brought that ass Makiri to my city and all this nonsense started. Explaining why a magus from Clocktower came to this spot in the country was bad enough, the army of German Homunculi popping up was just rubbing salt into the wound. That bastard Aozaki still finds this whole thing hilarious and I don't blame him. It's been like a damn circus here ever since."_

"_You don't regret it though, do you?"_

"_No, just as much as those two believe their goals will be fulfilled with this so do I. The Lord must have been telling me something when I chanced upon you in that lodging all those years ago, all of this is culminating to something greater than ourselves. This right here is what I was put on the Earth for, with both magecraft and my faith in mind, to see this to the end, whatever that may be."_

_Zelretch patted the Tohsaka patriarch on the back, the twinkle in the Dead Apostle's eyes growing even stronger after hearing Nagato speak. Matching his pupil, the vampire gazed at the perfected Einzbern Homunculi and the runaway Zolgen magus with a calculating look on his face, though the smirk never left the man's face._

"_You know I chose you especially."_

"_What do you mean by that, Old Man? What about those two?"_

"_Those two, of course I guided them together and set them on the path but… even without my meddling, those two would have found each other and began their journey. They are like the sun and the moon, purity and its imperfect reflection; a destined pair. But not you. No, out of all the magus I have at my disposal, I chose you. Do you know why?"_

_Nagato stayed silent but gave the Wizard Marshall an appraising look, bidding the man to continue._

_His ever-present grin growing wider, Zelretch with his right hand reached to his hip and pulled out his one of a kind mystic code; Jewel Sword Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. The thing was a work of art, though by whose creation, only its wielder knew; the blade was three feet long, composed of an otherworldly jewel with a thin black core. The guard was rough and jagged, as though it had been blasted apart then cobbled on to the weapon, though the handle was composed of smooth stone, the same material as the cross guard but tamed to a sleek form._

Having on just stabilized his breathing from the vampire's presence, Shinji bit back a wave of nausea as he was thrown into a state of vertigo at the weapon's unsheathing. The sheer amount of magical and spiritual energy that was being released by the user and his armament were causing his eyes to go beyond their normal parameters and his mind and body were being used to accommodate for it.

He could already taste the blood pooling in his mouth.

_Walking to the point that the Cup of Heaven would be placed, Zelretch took his sword and gently allowed it to touch the ground. The mystic code met with the rock underneath it and bit into the solid stone with no effort whatsoever from its wielder. Channeling the mana that came straight from the most prominent of Fuyuki's leylines into the blade, the vampire allowed the magical energy to flow into himself and back through the conduit, returning it to its source._

_Zouken and Justeaze must have noticed the actions of their mentor since they began to make their way back to Nagato and Zelretch with Ayaka in tow. The millennia old magus turned back to his follower, this time with a subdued smile._

"_Because you are good, good in heart, good in soul; frankly good in all the ways that make you a failure as a magus. You are not the only one with this nature in the world, of course but you fit the bill better than all others I could call upon."_

"_And Makiri and Einzbern are not?"_

"_Not in the conventional sense, no. The two of them share the characteristic of having a goal which is for the greater good of the world yet the origin of their ideal comes from a dark place. The Einzbern's desire to reclaim the Third Magic stems from a plan to save humanity, to collectively encompass the souls of every human and put them into a state where the pain of death, illness, and impurities have no place in their conscious. A noble thought, at least when you ignore the issue of free will. With Zouken, the lines become a bit more blurred." Nagato's eyes flicked to the Russian magus but returned to Zelretch. "The man wishes for a utopia, a place where there is no such thing as the burden of evil staining the world. Understandable, seeing as he lived through a true hell on Earth. He has sacrificed much in his pursuit of knowledge and even now, bears the weight of sins committed for the sake of others, a model of a modern saint if I have ever seen one in my thirteen hundred years… But it is because his desire for a world of purity came first from being overwhelmed and beaten down by the injustices of the world, such a lofty dream will inevitably become twisted. No matter how much he struggles, Makiri Zolgen will never reach his ideal."_

Shinji flinched despite the intense pain that it caused as the Dead Apostle locked eyes with him, as though there wasn't hundreds of years between them.

_Zelretch turned his attention back to Nagato as he returned his mystic code to its sheath. "We will talk on this topic later, Nagato. Now then, can't have your daughter outshining you in your life's work twice in one day, can you? Back to work, I've got good news for you three but you'll have to earn it!"_

_The Tohsaka let out a sigh once more but made his way nonetheless to the grayed magus, waiting for his partners and daughter to reach them._

Shinji let out a gasp of pain as his vision returned from the past to the present, wheezing desperately and falling to the ground with a thud as his body convulsed wildly.

The backlash of a vision really only depended on the content within it; if it was as simple as a typical conversation between a young Kariya and his childhood friends, the pain in his head was negligible if not zero. For events like the one prior with Grandfather and Tohsaka Nagato fighting, key moments that dictated what path the Matou had taken to end up in their current state, the pain was comparable to shoving a red-hot rod through the teenager's temples and leaving it there to cook the space behind his eyes. A horrid feeling but one that the boy had gotten used to over the years.

Memories that involved the Fourth Seat of the Dead Apostle Ancestors, Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, were a completely different breed of agony.

"Ack, gurk… cak, eah…"

Choking on his own spit and blood, Shinji twisted his body with his limited control from laying on his back to his side and the boy's airways became clear with a few coughs. Which was welcome seeing as not a moment later, the boy vomited. Blood leaked from the edges of his eyes and the spasms throughout his body caused the Matou to painfully grind against the jagged surface underneath him, though the external stimuli distracted Shinji from the pain currently running rampant through every fiber of his being.

After a few minutes, Shinji was able to wrest control back from his body though there were still tremors as his muscles still hadn't fully relaxed.

The teenager, albeit unsteadily, forced himself into a hunched over position, kneeling with his hands holding up his upper body. Blood dripped from his face on to the rock below, pooling in the etched magic circle, the amount of which would be concerning if Shinji hadn't once experienced it before.

"Hah hah… That was… hah pretty bad. No- not as terrible… as before but at least hah… last time I slammed into laminate instead of solid hah… rock."

Finally catching his breath, the boy stood upright with slight difficulty and did a check of his body, surveying for any wounds caused by his fit on the ground. Luckily, other than an egg sized lump on the side of his head, there were no other injuries on him. Shinji pulled out a handkerchief out from one of his pockets and began to mop up all the blood off of his face.

"Aw, too bad. I quite liked how you looked right then, covered in blood and writhing in pain."

Shinji froze for a moment but balled up the stained cloth and tossed it on the ground, turning to the voice with a grimace.

"You really only show up when I don't want any interruptions."

Avenger only grinned in response.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Shinji spoke lightly, scanning the area for any other threats but other than the inferno in front of them, they were alone. "Eight years now since I was subjected to your little ventriloquism act though now I must ask, is taking the form of a woman a necessity or just the way you get your kicks, Avenger?"

With not a hair out of place, the visage of Irisviel von Einzbern was just as the Matou had remembered from that night all those years ago, though the fact that he now stood a few inches above her_it _was a welcome change. Shinji hadn't heard any movement while he was in the vision so she must have come to form just now. The oppressive aura emanating from the corrupted Cup of Heaven throughout the cavern seemed to weaken as the cursed grail condensed it to create this corporeal body.

"I liked you better when you were a sniveling brat who barely knew his left from his right. I had wished that the two of you would have stayed just as cute as you were as children your whole lives but I suppose that was asking too much, I fear that you have changed to be much more jaded than she has. Nonetheless, you are not entirely wrong with that sort of thinking, this form is one of many I can assume; it's just that the body of the Lesser Grail agrees most with me."

"Here I thought the depraved being that tormented children was also a pervert that enjoyed prancing around in the skin of someone's dead mother, glad to know that I was wrong." Shinji's tone was less than approving but he put his annoyance aside. "For what purpose have you decided to grace me with your unwanted presence?"

"Eh?"

With a completely unfitting cute cry, Avenger looked at the boy in shock with an expression of genuine confusion.

"You come barging into what is essentially my home and ask me what I am doing? You dripped blood about and threw up here!"

Shinji had the decency to look embarrassed at the complaints tossed at him. It wasn't the first time he had heard this spiel, though he really hoped it wasn't going to be a trend.

"Not to mention throwing your trash wherever you please. Really, after giving you those hints when you were a confused little kid, this is how I am repaid."

"All right, all right I get it. Seriously I don't get you, one moment the embodiment of evil, another an annoying ball of energy."

Avenger ceased her admittedly cute pouting and took on a more calm expression, gesturing at the Greater Grail in front of them.

"That's because this is me, I don't only exist as one persona. The Irisviel von Einzbern who became stained in the mire of Angra Mainyu at the end of the Fourth Heaven's Feel is the same one that is in front of you, Shinji." The teenager's gaze softened a touch upon hearing the homunculus' fate. "Anything that has had the displeasure of being a container for this accursed ritual and having an ego they can call their own are taken in by the grail. This is only one of three identities that reside within me."

"… I don't suppose that one of those identities was a murdered little girl, was it?"

Shinji's face had taken on a pale shade after hearing the bit about multiple personas and honestly couldn't tell if either answer would make him feel any better.

"Murdered little girl?" Avenger placed a finger on her chin, gazing up in thought. "No, with the exception of the main persona, none of us suffered much in life and in the case of all of us, none of us really died."

"I… I see. Fine then, forget it. Just tell me what you want and let me go, I know that you don't have the power to do anything quite yet."

"Alright, rude as always. You know that old timer is right, you'll never find a lady with the way you act."

Shinji's eyes flared and he grasped Avenger by the neck, tightening his grip.

"Keep them out of it, you bitch."

"Temper, temper. You should know that threatening a spiritual being like myself with physical violence is foolish though if it makes you feel any better, go right ahead."

Avenger seemed completely unaffected by the boy's actions, speaking as though she wasn't currently being choked. She seemed absolutely amused with him despite the situation, grinning up into his eyes.

As much as Shinji wanted to prove her wrong, he released her neck and calmed himself. Getting into a confrontation now would just be stupid, he could wait a year.

"Glad that you can at least attempt to be civil, though really all you Matou are the same. That bloodthirsty fool during the Fourth and that insane woman from the Third, all mannerless brutes; only Makiri knew how to treat others, though I fear even that has faded away over the years."

"As if you don't have your own share of problems, that old golem Acht is the only reason that you even exist. Fooling around with the system to get an edge yet failing all the same. You want to point out weeds in someone else's garden, start with you own."

Giving the Matou a peculiar look at his odd statement, Avenger cracked a genuine grin and giggled softly.

"You really are an odd one, Matou Shinji. I had cast off any relation to that old fool the moment I had become assimilated by All The World's Evils, though I admire your naïve belief that such attachment would continue in even a form such as this."

Shinji's eyes hardened at that and he had opened his mouth to say otherwise but decided against it; speaking back would only be for his own benefit.

Instead he just shrugged and turned away from Avenger with a growl. "Enough with the games, say what you wish now or I'll just leave."

"Fine, fine," Avenger said, "the only reason I interrupted your… little show was due to my own curiosity. Tell me, boy, for what purpose do you seek the grail? You, better than most, know what awaits those that obtain such a thing, yet still you persist."

"… For my family. The thing that was most important to you, Irisviel, once upon a time. To think that you let all that fade away, continuing on existing even hollower then when you were a homunculus."

Avenger's face contorted at that, a sliver of anguish piercing through the mask, and for a second, her form shifted to a shadowy outline but returned to the guise of Irisviel so fast Shinji wasn't sure he had seen that right. Her expression became stony after that, glaring at the teenager with unbridled fury and the Cup of Heaven in front of them acted in conjunction, shooting blackened flames high enough to light up the roof two miles above.

Shinji took that as his cue to leave, turning from Avenger and the now blazing Greater Grail to make his way down the rocky slope. It had already been far too long and Genkei was no doubt out there beside himself, regardless of Shinji's own insistence that he would be fine.

"You know," Avenger's voice called to him with a tinge of brutal satisfaction, as though privy to some terrible joke the teenager was unaware of, "I wasn't only talking about those visions of yours when I said ghosts all those years ago. The Sakatsuki girl may not be a part of me but believe me, Matou Shinji, she is very much real. No matter how much you wish otherwise."

"What?" Shinji's blood froze and he twisted back to Avenger though just as she had eight years ago, the woman had disappeared.

"Coming from someone who places such significance on honoring your blood, such a cold reaction is really quite terrible, Shinji; I hope you won't act that way in front of her. I'll tell you once more and I hope this time it sticks," the sickly-sweet whisper in his ear only caused the ice to spread further, "get used to ghosts, boy. After all, you of all people know of those that have met their demise due to this vile ritual. You truly think that those souls have passed on peacefully? Really now, your naivety must have its limits. The living are not the only ones who yearn for the grail, it is time that you finally realize that, fool."

Shinji left the cavern, wanting nothing more for the infernal voice of Avenger to be drowned out but her echoing laughter followed him long after he had left the room, remaining in the boy's mind no matter how much he tried to kill it.

* * *

"The hell happened in there, Shinji? It's been almost an hour and- What happened to you? You look like you lost a fight with- Is that blood?" Genkei grabbed the boy's chin despite his protests and studied his face before growling once more. "Damn it, boy! I knew that it wasn't a good idea to take you here, the damn place is evil!"

"I am fine, old man! This is nothing, just a side effect of my being a dumbass. Don't worry about it, see, I'm absolutely unharmed."

Wrestling away from the temple elder's hold, Shinji showed Genkei that there were no actual wounds on his person though judging by the look on the Ryuudou's face, he wasn't convinced.

"Come on, you! We are heading back to the temple and you will be checked head to toe by Natsumi. Don't you dare try to weasel your way out of this, Shinji!"

With not even a moment to protest, Shinji found himself being carried as though he was a bag of rice under the arm of Genkei and the man rushed off towards Ryuudou Temple. Being completely bewildered dulled his normally sharp tongue and the teenager could only form sputtered complaints as he was manhandled.

"I- I have no- God damnit, slow down, Old man! I have no idea why you're getting so worked up, I am fine! Fine enough to walk on my own, at least."

"Keep that mouth of yours shut, Shinji. I do not have the patience to deal with it right now. You want to talk, we can do that after my wife checks you. I'm not dealing with this shit again, not with someone so young."

The two of them were only halfway up the mountain when the brush in front of them rustled and out came a familiar figure.

"Souichirou, the hell are- Never mind, go back to the temple and tell Natsumi to prep a futon for Shinji and to grab her medicine bag… and to get the pouch on the family shrine."

Souichirou Kuzuki only nodded once and began to run back the way he had come, disappearing from sight after only a few moments.

As much as Shinji wanted to call out to the man to say he was fine, the hardened gaze of Genkei stopped him. Obviously the man had his reasons for acting in such a way and even if the Matou didn't currently like how he was being dismissed, he knew that the Ryuudou patriarch was only doing this much because he cared about him.

The implied comment about how someone had apparently grown ill or worse after going into the resting place of the Greater Grail was not lost on the teenager.

The pair made it back to the courtyard of the Ryuudou Temple in record time and Genkei, still carrying Shinji, ran full tilt to his own private quarters.

"Natsumi! Are you ready in there? I've got Shinji with me now!"

Coming from behind the sliding door, Kuzuki waved them in. "Natsumi-san is prepared, Genkei-san, she had placed her medical supplies here only a moment ago and has the futon out. Bring Shinji-kun in, she will be back in a moment."

"Make that right now." Ryuudou Natsumi arrived right behind Shinji and Genkei with a brown leather pouch clutched in her right hand which she handed to her husband. She pushed past the two and started rummaging through her medicine bag. "Put Shinji-kun down and let me get a look at him, dear."

Before he could even attempt refusing the impromptu checkup, Shinji found himself on the futon with the retired nurse above him. He could at least try though, "Natsumi-san, I am fine, look at me-mrph!"

And was promptly silenced by the woman, placing one hand over his mouth while using the other to study his eyes with a flashlight.

"I'm sorry Shinji but you don't have any choice in the matter. This is for your own good. Just bear with it and if there is nothing I find then you can grumble all you want. Now stop the chatter and let me work."

Seeing that it was completely out of his hands, Shinji gave up and allowed for Natsumi to continue though that didn't stop him from giving pointed glares at Genkei. The man of course ignored him, instead busying himself with opening the pouch and fiddling with whatever was inside. Kuzuki stood at the back of the room against the wall, taking the spot after being told to stay by Genkei, eyes flicking to the forms of the other occupants but stayed silent.

With Shinji's unwilling cooperation, the checkup was concluded quickly with Natsumi finding nothing wrong with the Matou.

"Other than your inflamed throat and irritated sclera, you seem to be completely fine, Shinji." Natsumi put the otoscope back in the medical bag and zipped it up, giving Genkei a sideways glance before continuing. "But that doesn't mean you're quite done yet."

"Doesn't mean I'm- Can someone explain what the hell is going on here?" Shinji's voice gave away how exhausted he was but that didn't mask the boy's annoyance.

"The short of it is that there is a chance that something happened to you in there, something that can and will end up killing you." The Ryuudou patriarch's spoke close to a whisper but the steel in his words made it seem as though the man had shouted them, Shinji tensing at the severity. Genkei moved to the spot his wife had vacated, holding on to a set of peculiar prayer beads. The wooden beads were about half the size of a marble and were obviously old, signs of aging from the various tiny splits and imperfections throughout the one hundred and eight beads; the first bead, which was also the final, was triple the size of the others and had the kanji for Mion river, 未遠川, burned on its surface.

"And the long of it?" Shinji probed.

Genkei once again ignored the teenager, kneeling in front of him and beginning to rub the beads in between his hands filling the room with a soft grinding noise. The monk began to recite sutras rapidly, almost akin to an aria or the Church's Baptism Sacrament, and the boy could tell that magecraft was being used by how the air became charged with energy. Shinji could feel the magical energy coalescing on his body, forming a second skin over him before slowly being pulled from all angles to his core.

After a few minutes, the energy dissipated and Genkei both uttered his final phrase and stopped rubbing the prayer beads. It seemed to have taken a lot out of the man, seeing as he was now covered in a sheen of sweat and now had labored breathing. Natsumi, being the ever-present dutiful wife, had grabbed a bottle of water for her husband in the time she had been gone and the man gratefully accepted it.

Shinji sat up and waited for a moment, studying the couple for a few seconds to see if they had any more unwanted treatments they wanted to force on to him. Seeing that there wasn't, he turned his attention to the room's last occupant.

"A nurse, a monk, and a high school teacher, huh? So Kuzuki-sensei, what sort of unnecessary test are you going to give me to see if I am as a-ok as I claim? Gonna give me some extra homework?"

The man stayed silent though a snort brought Shinji's attention to Natsumi, who was putting away her medical supplies with hushed amusement.

"Alright, wise ass, we get it." Genkei had gotten his second wind and was now wiping away his sweat. "Sorry for just springing that on you but I'd rather be safe and quick on it than wrong. I didn't find anything but you sure are odd as hell, rather than looking for a needle in a haystack, it was the other way around."

"So, am I going to get some explanations now or what?" Shinji's words seemed a bit impatient but really the boy just wanted to understand what was going on.

Genkei sighed and, upon getting a comforting rub on the back from his wife, began. "Well, you know that, up until recently, I was very against anyone going into the depths of Mt. Enzou. There is a reason for that; you aren't the first person to request about going there. Back when I was a child, I was told about the entrance to the spiritual heart of the mountain from my father but had never saw fit to go there myself. That is until I was asked about it by a family friend, Emiya Kiritsugu."

Shinji flinched upon hearing the Magus Killer's name come from the Ryuudou elder's mouth but managed to keep the couple from noticing.

"He was a relatively new resident of Fuyuki, only having come to the city after the Great Fire. He actually adopted one of the orphaned children from the disaster; you should know him since he is friends with Issei, Emiya Shirou." Natsumi added with a subdued smile.

"Yeah, I am familiar with Emiya." Shinji's clipped reply made it clear that there was nothing left to discuss about the boy.

"We had become acquaintances through Reikan and Fujimura Raiga's granddaughter, Taiga, since the two had gone to school together and had become friends. The girl had dragged Kiritsugu anywhere and everywhere she could so it was only a matter of time before she brought him to the temple. I met the man only a few months after he had settled in Fuyuki and…" Genkei's voice petered off.

"He was already quite ill," Natsumi continued where her husband left off, "he hid it well but after years of working with terminal patients, you just get a feel for decerning such things. When I had asked him about it, he had only pushed aside any concerns stating that it was just something that he had gotten used to. For someone who was dealt such a bad hand in life, Kiritsugu was very graceful, humble in a way that only those that have lived their life to the fullest can be. Even with a failing body, the man never stopped his travelling, keeping with it to the very last few months he had left."

"…And it was during that time, two years ago and only a little after Souichirou-kun began living here… and your father's passing, that Kiritsugu asked me about the entrance to Mt. Enzou's depths." The temple head's voice softened at the mention of Father but it was unnecessary, appreciated but unnecessary. "I had, at the time, thought that it was just going to be a simple trip showing off a spiritually rich area to our friend but once I had taken him to the opening in the mountain, that had changed. Kiritsugu had seemed oddly tense the whole way down to the entrance and it got much worse once we had made it there; I had only put up the illusion after this event so there was no buffer before we were assaulted by whatever the hell was in there."

Shinji stayed silent, face void of emotion.

"We went inside the cave and heh, I made it twenty feet in before I couldn't take it." Genkei's laugh was hollow and self-deprecating, definite signs that he wanted nothing more than to end the story without going further but upon looking back at Shinji, he kept going. "Kiritsugu just told me to stay put and continued on, leaving me there for what seemed like hours. When he came back… you have to understand that Emiya Kiritsugu, even as strong in willpower as he was, was still a shell of a man for the time that I knew him. When he came back, it was as though even more was scraped away from him, leaving only the most basic of human instincts."

The man hung his head and his shoulders trembled a bit, Natsumi tightened her hold on him with a sorrowful expression that was no doubt the same as the one on her husband's hidden face.

"The two of them came back to the temple barely lucid, as though they were in a trace though Genkei was much better off." Natsumi's voice came out low and it began to waver the longer she spoke. "Souichirou-kun was taking a walk at the time and had caught sight of the two hobbling up the mountain so he lent his body as a crutch for them and got them to me as fast as possible. Both Genkei and Kiritsugu were out cold by the time he dragged them into the temple and I-I had tried to treat them to fix whatever was wrong but no matter what I did, they-they wouldn't wake and their rest was fitful as though they were stuck in a nightmare. Kiritsugu… he-he was crying out, searching for someone unseen; I had never heard a person sound so broken…"

Genkei had composed himself while his wife was speaking so he took over, seeing as she was becoming overwhelmed. "Natsumi had us taken to her hospital where we were cared for but nothing of note was found regarding the cause of our fatigue. I came out of it alright, only being lightheaded for a few hours after I had awoken but Kiritsugu… The illness that had plagued Kiritsugu for the four years we had known him worsened drastically, within only a few days his limbs became lame and his eyesight begun to completely fail. Kiritsugu regained his sense of self almost immediately but he outright refused to speak on what, if anything, he had witnessed deep in that cavern. He… he passed away only a month later."

Shinji sighed and turned his eyes to the ceiling, a habit he had formed when thinking deeply. "I see. That's why you jumped on getting me here so fast and why you two had your own checks to do. You thought that the same could have happened to me."

"That and the fact that you were in there for so long. I wasn't able to tell how much time had passed while Kiritsugu gone in deeper but Natsumi said that we couldn't have been gone for longer than forty-five minutes. Including the trek up and down the mountain, that left only around twelve minutes we were down there; you were in the cave for more than an hour."

"Hmmm," Shinji hummed noncommittally before speaking once more, "and that illness, you don't know what it was but you could tell that it grew stronger after Emiya Kiritsugu went down there?"

"Illness no, but don't play cute, boy. I know that you are aware of the supernatural world and recognize the effects of curses on the body. You come from the Matou, a magical family like the Tohsaka. Whatever had assaulted Kiritsugu's body for the last five years he was alive doesn't fit any curse I've ever heard of; the thing was more akin to a type of cancer. The only thing I know is that his condition was worsened drastically after going down there and I thought that something like that could have happened to you."

Genkei's logic was sound but Shinji knew that the supposed illness that Emiya Kiritsugu had was an intense curse from the grail, something that had coated every fiber of his being and left everything distorted. For the few curses that existed at that level, any cursebreaker would only be able to perceive it as the way his body had always been, there was nothing to purify since his body and soul had essentially been overwritten with his current state being the only thing left recorded. The fact that Emiya Kiritsugu had a normal body prior to the Fourth Holy Grail War didn't exist anymore; the Emiya Kiritsugu that was cursed by the grail replaced his past, present, and future.

Being in direct exposure to the very taint that stained him would only do more harm, though the man must have been aware of the risks.

"It's because I was already aware that I asked this of you. Believe me if you were just an ordinary monk, I'd rather be annoying Issei with Reikan right now but I have my own reasons for doing this. Probably not the same as Emiya Kiritsugu but it was something I needed to do no matter what."

Natsumi tossed her hands in the air and got up from her seated position next to her husband, grumbling about bullheaded males and made her way out, though not before Shinji hastily thanked her as she went through the door.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Genkei said, "I can only ask that you don't risk yourself unnecessarily, you have people here who care for you. Natsumi and I see you as part of the huge family that is the Ryuudou Temple and I know that Reikan and Souichirou-kun enjoy treating you like a younger brother. …Even Issei has told me that he's become worried about you and that boy, loath he admit it, sees you as one of his closest friends. I've already buried one too many Matou, no need for you to follow so soon."

Shinji got up from the futon and helped Genkei up with a small smile on his face. "I get that, and I appreciate it. I know you have my best interests at heart but there are some things that I can't turn away from. My father had asked me to live without regrets and I plan to uphold that promise, for him and the rest of my family. You all have been good to me for as long as I've known you so understand that I will try my best but…"

"I understand… Ah, even if you two are polar opposites, you still do remind me of Kiritsugu. His being reckless because he didn't have much more to live for and your recklessness because you have too much to live for. You both have a certain drive that I can't say many others can match."

The Ryuudou patriarch stretched once he had made it to his feet before nodding to Kuzuki and turning to the door. "We've taken up enough of your time, Shinji. I'll walk you to the temple steps and Souichirou-kun will walk you home." Shinji hadn't even spoken up to say that an escort was unnecessary before he was interrupted. "No buts. You may not have been harmed but you definitely weren't untouched, you are tired and who knows what else so he will be going with you."

"I have no problem with this arrangement so do not worry about this being an inconvenience, Shinji-kun." Kuzuki patted the boy on the back with the same stoic expression on his face as usual though Shinji could tell he was trying to emulate a look of reassurance. "Come, it is already far too late."

Shinji gave in and the three made their way through the long hallway that led to the courtyard. The full moon illuminated the temple with an ethereal glow, a heavenly sight that masked the fact that the embodiment of every sin committed was two miles underneath it.

Shinji tried not to remind himself about what had transpired down there and turned to Genkei with a question that had been long stuck in the back of his head. "I had been meaning to ask you ever since I found out, does Issei know about the Ryuudou being a family of Ommyoudou practitioners? I can't imagine Reikan was left in the dark that long after he became a monk, what with all the training that you put the men here through."

"Ah, that. Well, really other than a select few, the only training that the monks go through at our temple is just standard martial arts though a specialized version that has been passed down the Ryuudou family ever since this temple has stood. Anything akin to demon and oni subjugation, that kind of thing rarely happens now adays. The sutras I chanted with the family prayer beads were the first time that I had ever attempted Ommyoudou in an active sense. Don't get me wrong I've practiced all throughout my life but really, the only reason that people come to temples in this day and age is to give offerings, not seek refuge from the supernatural. That was only a simple purification spell and is really nothing of note so don't go thinking I'm capable of anything spectacular or that the Ryuudou were blessed by the dragon god in that story. But Issei, huh. Reikan has known ever since he became a monk, just as you thought, and I plan the same for Issei as well. There is no need to fill the boy's mind with things that he won't ever have to worry about, prepare him for things he won't ever encounter. Why do you think it was only Souichirou-kun, Natsumi, and I who were there when you were getting checked on. Reikan was keeping his brother occupied during the time, though I'm not exactly sure it was worth it."

"What makes you say that?"

Genkei tossed his head back with a grimace. "The damn brat made me promise to set aside an entire bottle of Devil King for him, the drunkard! Really, you'd think that the son of a temple head would act accordingly instead of making the other monks his drinking buddies."

Kuzuki wisely stayed quiet as he was one of the notorious drinking buddies.

The trio reached the torii without much fanfare, as Shinji and Genkei were quite drained from the long night. Genkei himself looked especially tired, having carried the teenager up the mountain side and then preforming magecraft on him, though he still managed to grin at the boy once they had stopped at the beginning of the steps.

"Well then Shinji, this is going to be it for me, I'm wiped. Natsumi is probably going to take my ear off for overexerting this old body of mine but that's alright. Just glad that you came out of this fine."

"Thanks, old man. Still think it was absolutely unnecessary but it means a lot."

"Good night, boy." Genkei ruffled Shinji's long blue hair, causing it to splay out in front of his eyes, causing for the Matou to let out a groan of annoyance. He turned to Kuzuki as the teenager began to fix his hair. "Get him there safely, Souichirou-kun."

The stoic man nodded to the Ryuudou elder and with that, Genkei began his way back to the temple, one hand waving to them as his back was turned.

* * *

The walk down the stairs, something that Shinji had gotten used to over the five years of visiting the Ryuudou Temple, was exceptionally tiring tonight. It had just past midnight when they had parted ways with Genkei. It hadn't taken any longer than usual, no thanks to Kuzuki and his inability to understand fatigue and the importance of breaks, but he could feel the side effects from using his eyes; the shallow breathing and the fact that his entire body felt like a bruise.

Thankfully, it was over and there was only a straight shot to the Matou manor.

Kuzuki had been silent the entire walk, only glancing back at the boy every once a while to make sure he was still behind him. Something that would normally be seen as a sign of indifference but Shinji knew better, it's just the way the man was. Anything he did had a purpose, he never wasted a single movement or a single thought. Every single thing he did drew results.

But that wasn't the case for Shinji.

"From what I heard from the old man, you've known about the Ryuudou being Ommyoudou practitioners and users of magecraft even before I did."

Kuzuki stayed silent.

"Here I thought I was privy to a secret but hearing you knew it too does put a damper on it. I imagine that learning about such a thing so shortly after you became a resident of the temple was a shock, huh?"

Still, the man walked without an outward sign of acknowledgement to Shinji's words.

"… You do realize that a conversation requires two people to work, don't you?"

"Apologies, I had only thought you were thinking aloud, Shinji-kun." Souichirou Kuzuki finally addressed the boy speaking to him.

Shinji sighed but couldn't find it in him to be annoyed. This was how many of their conversations went.

The relationship between Matou Shinji and Souichirou Kuzuki was and odd one but to make that distinction would imply that Kuzuki's other relationships were normal.

They were not.

It was just that the two understood each other in a way that many didn't. Kuzuki was a reactionary type of person, the kind that pondered silently and measured every choice no matter how small, and Shinji was an action type, one who initiated his actions whenever he pleased and was the first to come to a decision; a pair at odds though that is what made them so comfortable with each other. While many would see the silent, unapproachable stoic of a man that was Souichirou Kuzuki at face value and avoid him, Shinji was not deterred by any of that. In fact, the boy was one of the reasons, other than Genkei, that Kuzuki was accepted so quickly by the monks once he began living there due to Shinji wanting to get to know him. It was all under the pretense of finding out if the man was a threat, magus or otherwise, and Kuzuki could tell that but it was because the boy was so open with his intentions that the usually indifferent man found a sense of kinship with the child. The way he was raised and trained had created the warped perception that he had towards the rest of humanity which is why Kuzuki only understood people by their intentions and actions, not their emotions. By interacting with others constantly over the past few years, Kuzuki was able to gain a sense of humanity by no small part of the Ryuudou and Shinji and the man for the first time could say that he felt gratitude.

The man still didn't completely integrate with societal conventions, though to the annoyance of many.

Kuzuki waited a moment for Shinji to reach him so they could walk side by side before speaking. "A surprise… I would say so but there is much that exists in this world without my knowledge. It had not mattered at the time, when I was assisting Genkei-san and Emiya-san so I had easily put it aside."

"Hah, so even something as unbelievable as magic doesn't shock you."

"… I don't think there is much in this world that could truly surprise me, Shinji-kun. Especially if I am explained to what it was shortly after like Genkei-san saw fit to. It had only been a few hours after he had awoken in the hospital that he had told me about such things in detail."

There was a break in the conversation as the two made a turn, now only a few minutes away from the Matou residence.

"I have to ask though, has your perception of me changed, knowing that I am a part of the supernatural world?"

Kuzuki's eyes were obscured by his glasses but Shinji could tell that the man had heard him and was thinking to himself.

"… Things like that have no meaning for someone like me. If you are looking for someone to rebuke you for the way that you live, I cannot be that person. The way that you decide to shape your fate is not something that I can criticize, not when I have lived the life I've lived. Both you and Genkei-san know of my past, yet you accept me; it would be remiss for me to not do the same." The man's voice reflected none of the sentiments of his words but Shinji could see that Kuzuki was attempting, in his own way, to show his acceptance.

Shinji turned his attention from Kuzuki to the street ahead, the Matou manor now in sight, with a grin.

"You know, you and old man Ryuudou really are softies. Well, you less so but the point still stands. Thanks, Kuzuki-san, I'll try to pay you back for all this."

The pair had reached the front gates of the manor and the soft chittering of the crest worms could be heard now.

"No need. Only keep yourself in good health, I'd rather not have a repeat of tonight. Good night, Shinji-kun."

"Same to you. Be safe on the way back to the temple."

Kuzuki nodded with a certainty that only made the Matou's smile grow; as if there was a single thing in Fuyuki City that would be a threat to a man who was trained his entire life to kill. The two turned away from each other and went on their way.

* * *

There was no one awake on the first floor.

Shinji had to make that distinction due to the fact that Sakura was currently asleep in the dining room. Shinji had been prepared to just head straight up stairs and shower before going to bed but had noticed the girl laying with her head cradled atop her arms, slumbering next to an untouched plate of food.

"Really now, you knew that I was going to be out for most of today. Foolish girl." Shinji muttered.

The teenager walked up to the girl and lightly shook her shoulder to wake her but was unsuccessful, hearing her snores grow louder in response. He contemplated just waking her up completely but glanced at the plate that she had prepared for him and back at the deeply slumbering Sakura with an exasperated sigh.

She really was more trouble than she was worth.

"Alright, up you go." Shinji managed to get the sleeping girl onto his back without rousing her and began to make his way through the foyer and up the stairs, trying his absolute best to make the trip as smooth as possible.

Having made it to the top of the steps, Shinji made his way to Sakura's room and opened the door.

The room was still the same to no one's surprise. Shinji navigated through it easily even without the lights on, dodging the chabudai in the middle of the room and managing to not trip on the floor cushions as he made it to her bed. The Matou tossed her sheets to the side and deposited Sakura as gently as he could before haphazardly pulling the covers over her.

"Pain in my ass but I can't get too mad. Who wouldn't want a girl waiting up for them to come home?" Shinji saw that she now had a small content smile on her face as she snuggled into her pillow. "I take points off for cooking though, you are absolutely awful at it."

Shinji made his way to leave but stopped and turned back to Sakura, lightly ghosting his hand over her forehead.

It was warm, nothing out of the ordinary which was good.

He walked to her desk, taking care not to knock into anything on the way there, and quietly opened a small pouch that sat at the desk's back. Inside were five gemstones, each a different type, that looked normal with the exception of the sapphire which glowed slightly in the dark room.

"Used up four, huh. Should be good for the rest of the month with this one but let's not risk it." Shinji returned the sapphire into the pouch and put it back on the desk where it had been.

Now completely done with the room, Shinji made his way out and closed the door to Sakura's room behind him. Finally safe from the threat of waking the girl, the teenager went back down to the dining room where both his school bag and the plate Sakura had prepared him were sitting.

Shinji considered tossing out the food.

_Grumble_

And then grimaced.

"Fine then, I'll eat it. Kinda regret picking today to overexert myself. Maybe drowning it in seasoning will help."

"Never thought you to be one ungrateful to a homecooked meal, Shinji-kun."

Shinji would have flinched if he wasn't used to the old magus appearing out of nowhere regularly. With a sigh, he turned to his Grandfather, "I know that your taste buds have long since gone but mine haven't. I don't even care for taste most of the time yet still her food manages to push me away."

Grandfather chuckled a bit and sat down at the table, gesturing for Shinji to do the same.

"You were with those Ryuudou today were you, Shinji-kun? I noticed that you were accompanied by someone when you returned though they didn't look like a monk."

Settling into his seat, the boy responded. "That man is just a resident there by the good will of the head monk, no real relation to them other than the fact that he lives in the temple."

"I see… I'll thank you for taking care of Sakura-chan, I'd have done it myself but I fear that magecraft would have woken her."

"… That girl is hopeless, she knows that I have dinner with the Ryuudou when I go to the temple. For what reason did she waste the time cooking this up for me?"

"I imagine she wanted to spend some time with you."

"…"

Grandfather gave Shinji a look over once the boy had become silent and noted his rather unkempt appearance.

"Will you tell me what led to your looking so haggard so late at night?"

Shinji scoffed slightly leading for the Matou patriarch to glare at the boy. "Nothing that really needs addressing, only something to satisfy my own curiosity. What does need addressing is Sakura's supply of gemstones."

"Ah, so the girl has gone through her store of them this quickly… Well then, isn't that task up to your discretion? Are you not the one who came up with the solution of gemstones for Sakura's magical energy needs?"

"It is but I was only informing you that I will be contacting the Edelfelt later on today. While you don't balance checkbooks, your habit of looking through our finances is made easier to deal with if you know when and where large sums of money are going."

Grandfather gave a hum of approval before turning away from the teenager and glancing back up the stairs where Sakura was sleeping.

"There is only a little over a year and a half until the beginning of the Fifth Heaven's Feel, I imagine that the other families have gathered their catalysts and begun their own preparations for the ritual." The ancient Matou's voice came out so low that it could scarcely be heard but even with listening Shinji knew exactly what the man was going to say. "I know not what the Einzbern are up to, only that the daughter of Emiya Kiritsugu will be their master. Tell me, have you spoken with her brother as of yet? The boy has a chance of becoming a master as well."

"It is exactly for that reason that I want nothing to do with him. Emiya Kiritsugu was a mess, I'd rather not weigh my chances with that fool's son. I have yet to speak with him now and I don't plan to change that anytime soon. Illyasviel shows much more promise though I am not exactly looking for friends in masters."

"And the Tohsaka girl, what of her?"

This time Shinji scoffed loudly, turning to Grandfather with a rueful grin. "Exactly, what of her? The girl only has her born talent to rely on and that will be her own downfall. She is already overly confident in her ability due to being the Second Owner, that fact that she knows nothing of the nature of the grail proves to me that she is entirely unprepared."

Grandfather stayed silent for a moment, studying his grandson before speaking. "You are awfully confident for one that has no such talent themselves. I must ask once more, do you truly wish to participate? I can easily make it so that Sakura is the combatant, the girl easily has the stores to support a servant and fight as a magus and making her compliant seems to be a far simpler task than what you are attempting."

"She is to be your own Lesser Grail, you really want to risk her being harmed or worse before she is ready? It's fine, I had grown up thinking that I was going to be the Matou master by my own innate ability, to do this now, with or without Magical circuits, is my duty as the blooded heir to the family."

"I have my own means to keep the girl safe, though I cannot promise the same for you. If you are sure, we will continue with preparations for you to take over as master once Sakura has summoned her servant."

Grandfather stood up from his seat and began to leave the room before Shinji spoke up once more, quietly as though he was unsure. "Tell me Grandfather, is it possible for the grail to bring back souls of those that are dead?"

"Hmmm… that feat is even something that even the Magics cannot perform though the grail is a means for reaching the Root so such a thing is possible, ultimately useless since the Third Magic would be required to join that soul with its new body. Why do you ask, Shinji-kun? Surely you do not think we would waste such a resource as the Holy Grail for such a fruitless task?"

"No. Not in that capacity, I am asking about the grail as it is, just as it uses the magical energy complied over half a century to fuel the summoning of seven servants, is it possible for the grail to bring back human souls just the same as heroic spirits? Like wraiths?" Shinji said this with his eyes trained to the plate in front of him, refusing to look his grandfather in the eyes.

"Such a thing… The Heaven's Feel ritual was never designed for fueling such things though I suppose that if there was an abundance of mana it would theoretically be possible though only if there was an intent behind it. The ritual works the way it does because it follow a set of rules and commands that we three gave it, there is no way for outside stimuli to change such things unless the grail is actualized and used for its intended purpose as a wish granter."

"... I see. That is the only thing I wished to ask you Grandfather, have a good night."

Grandfather paused a moment, thinking to himself before turning back to the teenager. "… Is there any reason that you believe that the ritual will be changed in such a fashion?"

Matou Shinji met the eyes of Makiri Zolgen with a grimace, with a gaze just as intense as the ancient magus'. "I don't know Grandfather, is there something that I am unaware to about the grail?"

Both knew that the other was aware of the corrupted state of the Greater Grail though they only had suspicions of the extent of the other's knowledge. The fact that Grandfather had never brought up that Avenger was able to come to form whenever and wherever it pleased was not lost on the boy though Shinji knew he was treading on thin ice. Asking about the dead coming back from the grail was going to catch the attention of the old magus but he had to know if it hadn't just been Avenger messing with him.

Grandfather studied the teenager once more, before smirking to himself and turning away to the stairs. "Heh heh ha, Good night to you as well, my boy." He walked up to the second floor without looking back but Shinji couldn't shake the feeling he dodged a very dangerous bullet.

As much as he hated to say it, Grandfather laughing was not a good sign in any manner.

Shinji exhaled loudly, slumping in his chair as the weight of today came crashing back down on him.

The trip to the Greater Grail, the visions he witnessed while he was down there, the fact that Avenger still saw fit to do anything in its power to derail any and all of his plans, Genkei's past with Emiya Kiritsugu, and now the fact that Grandfather wasn't even aware of everything in a ritual that he handcrafted.

With a groan, Shinji let his head hit the table and was met with the sound of a plate clinking.

Oh yeah, how could he forget. Add eating Sakura's abysmal cooking to the list.

* * *

**July 11****th**** 2002**

"Shinji… Shinji… Damn it, listen to me you idiot!"

The cries of Ryuudou Issei were a common occurrence to the student body of Homurahara High School, doubly so if you a first-year like he was, and triply so if your name was Matou Shinji.

At least it felt that way to Shinji.

"Shi- Pardon me. Shinj- Excuse me. Shinji- Damn it, all of you get out of my way!" With that roar from the normally strait-laced Student Council member, the crowded hallway filled with students on their way to lunch scattered, leaving a wide berth between Issei and the still retreating Shinji.

Shinji took another step before he was grabbed from behind by his blazer and he let out a groan of pure annoyance. Yesterday had been taxing and it looked like the teenager wasn't going to get any respite today.

"Shinji, what is this I hear about you not wanting to go visit Emiya in the hospital?"

"Great, so you heard. Glad to know that's out of the way, well I'll be on my way now." Shinji attempted to pull away from the grasp of Issei but apparently the Ryuudou's grip was a lot more formidable that he had previously thought. The Matou only had himself to blame for that, having trained with Issei himself; he would have been proud if it wasn't for the fact that the bastard was using that strength against him.

"Fujimura-sensei came to me crying that one of her star club members didn't want to visit him with the rest of the Kyudo Club. Why she thought that I was the person to bring this to I have no idea but she is right to be upset! What will the rest of the club think when a role model like yourself is missing, what will Emiya think? Consider the feelings of others, you villain!"

"Those were crocodile tears, you ass! Besides, it's not any of my business to visit Emiya. I was never friends with him and I don't plan to be, we were only part of the same club. Now get your hands off me!"

As Shinji struggled to get away from Issei, he could see that the two of them were becoming something of an attraction with how the rest of the student body was watching them. He even thought that he saw Rin in the back, giggling at his expense, the bitch.

"Be that as it may, you have a duty to care for your fellow students and I will not allow you to shirk from this responsibility. Come, we will tell Fujimaru-sensei that you will show up at the hospital to visit Emiya with all the other members of the Kyudo Club after school."

Shinji made to reply, not exactly sure what he was going to say, only that it was going to be filled with expletives when he felt someone other than Issei touching him.

With expert skill, Shinji's arms were deftly pulled out from his blazer and he was liberated. Issei was just as confused as he was, one second having Shinji in his grasp, then next only being left with a blazer. Shinji turned to thank the person when he was pulled away from the hallway by the arm, the two disappearing just as quickly as the Matou had been freed.

Shinji could hear the howl of indignation coming from Issei though he couldn't be sure that it wasn't a train whistle instead, the two just sounded too alike. The person that had saved him was apparently leading him somewhere and before long Shinji found himself on the school's roof, alone with his rescuer.

He couldn't help but grin despite himself. This was so like her.

Mitsuzuri Ayako grinned back at him, taking out her earphones and bubbling with laughter.

"Haha, did you see the look on his face! Ah, pure gold, Shinji!"

"Sure, sure. You do realize that I'm out of uniform now? If Issei wasn't already on my ass, he is now."

"Don't sweat the small stuff, you'll be fine. Now then come on, I didn't bail you out just to look at you. Bring out the goods."

As the pair sat down for lunch, Shinji muttered something about extorsion under his breath but opened his sack lunch and fished around for what Ayako was looking for. Tossing it to her, Shinji's face took on an amused expression as the girl fawned over the wrapped sweets.

"I've been waiting all day for this! These Finnish chocolates are to die for, Shinji."

The Matou watched as the girl popped one of the candies in her mouth and then melted from the flavor before repeating the cycle two more times.

"How cute."

Ayako turned to him, affronted but that didn't stop her from savoring the last bite of chocolate before speaking her mind. "Shut up, you seaweed haired dumbass. I like to enjoy myself as opposed to being broody like you do."

"Being dragged around by someone like you all the time leads to being tired all the time, exhibit A." Shinji gestured to himself before continuing, "But enough about that, tell me what you were up to yesterday."

The girl began to eat from her own lunch, pausing every once in a while to speak. "I dragged Minori to the arcade since you were gone the entire time after school and we spent most of the day there. Even if he acts like he hates it every time I take him, once my brother drops the sulking, he's a pretty good player two. Nothing compared to you but I doubt there is anyone around here who is as good as you are."

"Yeah, yeah. You're just trying to butter me up so that I go with you next time."

Ayako slammed her bento box down with a clatter and pointed her chopstick at the Matou in an almost threatening manner. "I wish! You're so infuriating to play with since you're really that good! All without trying too! The fact that you had never played a video game before I had taken you to an arcade and still managed to beat me in Street Fighter annoys the hell outta me." She stabbed her chopsticks into a cherry tomato and started creating a makeshift kabab with the rest of her lunch. "You know, you could go pro with your skill if you actually tried."

Shinji ignored the rather amusing display of Ayako's interesting lunch mannerisms and tried to imagine a world where he was a professional video gamer, almost instantly finding the idea absurd.

Francis Drake would sooner be found out to have been a woman than the chance of Shinji taking in such a profession.

"Maybe in another life, Ayako. I don't think I have nearly enough free time to indulge in something like that."

The Matou pulled out a sandwich from his sack lunch and began to eat it as Ayako did the same with her completed skewer and for a moment the two silently ate. Though that was interrupted just as quickly by Ayako who turned back to the boy, remembering something.

"Speaking of free time, Shinji, when do you think we can visit-"

"Not anytime soon, you know that most of them will be out of town till next summer, college or otherwise. We can arrange a visit then but you know how busy each of them get with their schedules. It still surprises me that idiot can manage to balance the workload of college classes with his galivanting across the globe."

"Well, what about just seeing the ones who-"

"Denied. Unless Senpai decides to randomly drop in or Hime-sama comes back to her castle, there is only those two that will be there looking over the place, the good one and the evil bitch. And the longer I can spend without seeing her, the better. Plus, I'm sure the feeling is mutual."

"...You know calling them by those nicknames is probably one of the reasons that you guys don't like each other. It worked when we had only known them for the better part of a week, now all of us have been friends for over two years."

Shinji gave the girl an amused grin. "Me and Hime-sama, we didn't exactly see eye to eye at the beginning and back then, I was doing it to piss her off. Now though, we just like needling each other, it's the way we show our affection. She likes our banter just as much as I do, tough love and all that mess."

"Yeah well, don't think calling someone "evil bitch" is all that endearing."

"In her case, not a nickname. And anyway, trip's not gonna happen anytime soon."

Ayako let out a groan of discontent as she hung her head, laying flat on the roof. "Ugh, waiting till next year is so long from now! It doesn't help that the last time we visited was for the graduation celebration two years ago."

"Well, things were hectic for them the past two years, which is why they told us to wait. I'd rather not have a repeat of the field trip from hell."

The girl didn't respond though she did turn her head to look at Shinji, giving him a complicated expression that the boy was unfortunately familiar with.

"Fine, fine. I know, that was mostly my fault."

"Just as long as you admit it. You being a dumbass and getting yourself hurt like that should be something you never forget but I guess not everyone is born with common sense."

With the mood of lunch being thoroughly squashed, the two quietly finished up their meals with Ayako pointedly not making eye contact with Shinji.

Shinji thought about attempting to clear the air but the girl always got moody when that specific event was brought up and honestly the chances of him digging an even deeper hole trying to get out of this one was a bit too high for his liking. Hopefully she would let off some steam during the rest of today's classes and he wouldn't have to worry about it.

Shinji made to leave the roof when he was grabbed from behind. For the second time in an hour.

"Do you mind? It wasn't fun when it was Issei, and it still isn't, you being a girl doesn't change that."

"Nope, I just remembered the other reason I needed to pull you aside. Fujimura-sensei told me you didn't want to see Emiya-kun in the hospital. It's funny that you think you have a choice."

The words the girl spoke were already clipped but the fact that she was already angry with Shinji tripled the venom in her voice.

"I've told Fujimura-sensei and Issei that I don't care to visit and you already know that I don't like Emiya to begin with. It would just be an inconvenience to mess with all the good feelings the rest of the Kyudo club is trying to give him if I go. I'm sure that Emiya doesn't care either. Besides, I have something important to do after school anyways."

Once again, he tried to pull away from the person holding on to him but this time he was noticeably gentler. Of course, Ayako took advantage of that and pulled even harder.

"Well, I don't care how either of you feel about it. We are a club for a reason, that means that we care for each other even if some of the members can be absolute jackasses most of the time. If you don't go, you'll be the only one in the entire club who didn't and that will look bad on both the club and Fujimura-sensei. Plus, I have no idea why you even have a problem with Emiya; you've never even spoken more than three words to him!"

"I just know that I will never be able to like a guy like that. Chalk it up to male bravado, me just being an asshole, or hell, even me having a crush on the bastard and being shy. Just understand that I want nothing to do with him."

"…"

The hand that was holding on to the back of his shirt slackened its grip, freeing Shinji. The Matou began to make his way off the roof when he heard Ayako respond to him with an air of melancholy.

"You're doing it again. I thought you promised to at least try…"

Shinji froze at those words.

He could hear Ayako slowly walk past him to the door to the stairwell and with each step she took, the teenager was pulled deeper into his memories, to the day he made that promise to her.

"Fine."

The footsteps halted.

"I'll go to the stupid hospital."

There was a beat of silence and no one moved but only for a second.

Shinji let out a grunt of pain as Ayako roped an arm around his neck and yanked his head down to her level with a grin.

"That's more like it! Come on, let's go tell Fujimura-sensei the good news!"

"I still have something to do before that I can't- Ow, dammit woman! Stop pulling me around by my neck, I can walk there without you tugging me around like a damn toy!"

"Nope!"

* * *

Having a cellphone was probably breaking some taboo of magus families but even if Shinji was capable of magecraft, he probably still would have one. Getting Grandfather to agree to get one had been almost more of a battle than his request that Father be buried; whether that spoke more to the Matou patriarch's traditionalist mindset or his hatred of his father, Shinji didn't know. He rarely called using it, only having six numbers saved and two of those were Ayako's and Sakura's numbers; he talked to a few more people than that but didn't care to hold on to their numbers or in one specific case, refused to save their number. No, the cellphone was more for others to get in contact with him not the other way around but of the few calls he did make, they were almost always regarding business.

"It's been a while since you've called, stranger."

"Unfortunately, it's not to catch up. I would have liked that but something came up. Good morning by the way. It's seven over there, right? I hope that I didn't wake you."

Shinji had decided to skip the last bit of his final class of the day and hide out in the archery range so he could get his call in without interruptions. Since it was a quarter after three in the afternoon right now, he had about ten minutes to himself before the rest of the Kyudo Club would congregate here and then begin their trip to the hospital.

"Thank you for considering that but you know that I am an early riser, Shinji, unlike my sister. Nonetheless, your manners are always appreciated and good afternoon to you as well. Now then, what can I do for you?"

"I need to make another purchase of your family's jewels, Ylänea. It seems that our last supply is running dry faster than we expected and we'll need a replacement sooner rather than later."

"Another? Shinji, this will be the fourth one you purchased in the past six months. Our jewels are packed with an amount of magical energy comparable to the entire output of several high-level magus, what could you possibly be using them for, for you to run out of them so fast?"

Shinji let out a sigh but stayed quiet for a moment. He needed to word this in a way that wouldn't arise suspicion though he doubted that Ylänea or the other Edelfelt would care for his reasons, they were a business before anything else. Still, making a plausible excuse was preferable to letting another magus family know that he was essentially using their family magecraft as magical batteries for Sakura.

"Grandfather and I have taken to training Sakura a bit more intensely, both for her own good and the fact that the Fifth Heaven's Feel is to take place in a year. We want to prepare her as well as we can for it so I imagine that these purchases will become more frequent the closer we get to it."

"Shinji, I know that you can lie better than anyone else I've ever known but if there is one thing you can't fool me on, it's my family's magecraft. It's fine if you don't want to tell me or can't, so long as you have the money I can't complain. You have your reasons so I won't pry."

"… Saw through me, huh. Not the same gullible little sister anymore."

He could almost hear the girl's grin through the phone.

"Of course, I'm not the same seven-year-old that fell for all your wily tricks in the academy. Honestly, I have no idea why I would even get in the way of yours and Luvia's little spats, you were a crooked rascal even back then."

"Even back then? Ylänea, you wound me."

This time he could hear her softly giggle into the receiver.

"I'll get everything in order on my end and a courier should arrive within the week. The Matou account should be billed a little later today."

"…Do you mind-"

"And yes, I'll send some of those Finnish chocolates with the gems."

"Thanks, Ylänea. You're a lifesaver."

"I know I am. Well, is there anything else that you wanted from me?"

Shinji paused at the question and deliberated for a second, ultimately deciding to ask.

"Tell me Ylänea, you and Luvia still have no desire to take part in the Holy Grail War or has that changed?"

"Hmmm… For Luvia, she has said that she wants to make up for our family's showing during the Third Holy Grail War and get back at the Tohsaka but I know that she is more than satisfied waiting to the side and watching them fail on their own instead. She really is too preoccupied with her own studies and training to warrant participation and I doubt that Father would allow her to even if she wished. And you know that I have no interest in such a thing, I am content enough with the life I am currently living. That and I couldn't bear to leave my fiancé in such a position if I were to fail."

"I am glad to hear it, I'd rather not have either of you put in such a dangerous position. Even though, it may sound hypocritical of me to say, there is no reason to throw your life away for the chance of glory."

Shinji pulled the phone away from his face to see the time, 3:20 PM, and stifled a groan. It would be better to cut it off now rather than have Taiga, or worse, Ayako catch him on the phone.

"Didn't want to cut this short but I have something to get to in another few minutes so I think this is it for now."

"You really do know how to treat a girl, Shinji. Get what you came for and then leave."

"Glad that you see it like it is. Thanks again, Ylänea, really."

"You are very much welcome, Shinji. And please don't be afraid to call aside from business, I do enjoy these talks of ours."

* * *

"Thank you everybody for coming to visit Shirou after school. It means a lot to him. Come on, tell them it means a lot to you!"

"Ow, Fuji-nee! Why would you think hitting an injured person would be ok?"

Shinji stood at the back of the hospital room, leaning against the wall next to the room's exit and away from the congregated mass around Taiga and Shirou. The redhead had a cast around his right shoulder and upper arm but other than that, looked no worse for wear, swatting at his sister in all but blood who dodged with the grace of a wildcat.

"Well then, you all can head home," Taiga said and Shinji instantly turned to the door, halfway out when he was pulled from behind. For the third time today. "Not you, Matou-kun. Everyone else can go though."

Shinji bit back a scream and plastered a smile on his face that fooled nobody, the pure unadulterated malice coming off him only hastening the departure of the other club members. Even so, Taiga grinned back at him and guided the Matou back into the room to where Ayako was standing next to Shirou in his bed.

"What could it possibly be that you need me here for, Tai-Fujimura-sensei?" The fact that Shinji was utterly fed up didn't stop him from recognizing the promise of harm that flashed in Taiga's eyes after almost calling her by her given name.

"Well, Matou-kun, thank you for asking. It seems that you had quite strong feelings about not coming to the hospital to visit Shirou. While I don't expect you to be friends with everyone in the club, I at least expect you to be civil. That is why I am asking the two of you to clear the air with each other and start anew."

Turning to Ayako, Shinji was not at all surprised to see that the girl had a self-satisfied smirk on her face and he had no doubt that the same look was on Taiga's face as she ushered him back to Shirou.

"Fuji-nee, there is no need for you to force someone like this. It's not that Matou-kun has a problem with me, we just don't see the need to be anything more than club members."

"No," Shinji surprised himself with how level he was keeping his voice, "I think the two of them are right. Let's clear the air, Emiya."

Apparently Ayako recognized the tone of his voice well enough to understand that Shinji most certainly did not think her and Taiga were correct with how her expression instantly died the moment she heard him reply.

"Fujimura-sensei, maybe it would-"

"Don't worry about it, Ayako. I realized that this has been a long time coming. If you would, could the two of you step outside and give the two of us some privacy."

Taiga, either unaware of the tension in the room or unaffected, gave Shinji a thumbs up and began to leave the room with Ayako in tow, ignoring the girl's protests.

The two boys waited for the doors to close behind the leaving pair and stayed silent a few moments after to make sure that the two weren't going to be eavesdropping. When it became clear that the two would be left alone, Shinji began to make his way to the left side of Shirou's bed.

He pulled a chair from where it rested against one of the walls and dragged it, filling the room with the unpleasant scraping noise and placed it to be adjacent with the ginger's upper body.

Finally sitting down, Shinji leaned backwards, with his eyes to the ceiling before speaking.

"You know that I hate you, right?"

"I had a feeling but could never really confirm it."

Shinji grinned, the boy's rather flippant response was exactly what he expected.

"I was never sure if it was just the fact that I hate you as a person or if it was what I had knew even before meeting you but I can safely say that I don't ever think that I could like you, Emiya."

"Laying it on a bit thick there, don't you think, Matou?"

"On the contrary, I think letting you know exactly how much I hate you and your father's guts is the best way to get the two of us on the same page."

Shirou must have flinched since Shinji could hear the bed squeak from underneath the boy.

"What? How do you even know my father?"

"I don't think that there is a single magus alive that hasn't heard of the Magus Killer, Emiya. The man was known by all, feared by all but that isn't how I know him. The Emiya Kiritsugu who hunted down those he deemed corrupt could never be a threat to someone like me. No, I hate the man not because of the harm he did but the good that he tried to do."

"Just what the hell are you trying to say, Matou?" Shirou's voice came out in a growl that Shinji was sure that no one else had ever heard from the normally earnest boy.

"What I'm trying to say is that Emiya Kiritsugu was a goddamn idiot, one who sought for a peaceful world yet everywhere he went, sowed chaos and despair. Even the man's wish for the grail was one that would destroy the world, just like the Einzbern. And I imagine the son of such a fool would be a carbon copy, parroting his flawed ideals."

Shirou grabbed Shinji's collar with his left hand and balled it up, pulling the Matou up to face him. Shinji finally made eye contact with the redhead and his smile grew deeper at the expression he saw on the boy's face, barely contained rage with Shirou's eyes darkening to a molten gold.

"My father's dream isn't flawed! What could be so wrong with wanting to save someone else as a hero of justice? How dare you twist my father's-"

"It's a selfish desire to wish to save someone. I know that for all your idealism you can recognize that as fact. To save someone, that someone must first be in need of saving. Both you and that father of yours, you only wish to save because you have regrets not because you desire acknowledgement or care for the people themselves. You would sooner forget them the moment they are saved and continue to stroke your own ego by moving to the next disaster."

Shirou pushed the Matou back into his chair hard enough to have him skidding back a few inches and slammed his fist into his bed, glaring into his lap. "How can you say something like that, you bastard! The idea of being a Hero of Justice is to be one that does anything in their power for the betterment of others. And what the hell is so wrong with that? How is wanting to do good, to save as many people as I can, wrong, Matou?"

"I'm not the one who needs to answer that question. You think that the world will give you validation for the good you do, that the hole inside you will be filled by some miracle because you kept at it for so long? You are a hollow soul, Emiya Shirou, just like the man who adopted you. No matter how much you try to fill it from the outside, you will never be filled, never be satisfied."

"Good," Shirou's gaze came up and locked with Shinji's own in grim determination, "to be a Hero of Justice is to devote your life to it. If I only stopped when I became satisfied, then I was never one to begin with. Regardless of what you say, Matou, I will not abandon my ideal."

"I never expected you too. Just… clearing the air, you know." Shirou set his jaw and turned away upon seeing Shinji's mocking smirk.

"Then what about you, Matou? If you can stand there and criticize me and my ideals, you must have one of your own to live for."

"Not me, I don't have the time or drive for some foolhardy ambition. The only thing I've ever wanted to do is to right some wrongs. Family matters, I'm sure you're aware."

"…If that's all you had to say, the door's right there. I'll tell Fuji-nee that we reached an agreement and be done with it."

Shinji had already gotten up and begun to take his chair back to where it belonged, glancing back at Shirou after he finished.

"Yeah, yeah, one last thing. Tell me, how is Illyasviel and those of the Einzbern doing?" Shinji said, turning to the door.

"What is this, you're making up words now just to piss me off?"

Shinji halted and faced Shirou once more. The boy's face was still set in a scowl and it deepened upon seeing that the Matou had stopped moving.

For the first time since Shinji had entered the room, his face became warped in anger. It was so abrupt and out of left field that Shirou dropped his own expression of annoyance upon seeing it.

"Oi, bastard. That wasn't a joke. When was the last time that you heard from them?"

"Them? I don't know anyone that goes by those names, am I suppose- Whoa, there Matou. That's quite the dangerous face you're making."

Shinji reached up to his face, his hand involuntarily shaking, and could feel the tightness of his face with his hands though after hearing Shirou speak, he could tell that everything was becoming numb for some reason.

Oh yeah, he was absolutely livid, that's why.

"Matou, sorry if it sounds rude but if you are going to have a panic attack, I'd rather you do it outside."

"… Emiya, do you have any siblings? Or better yet, do you know if Emiya Kiritsugu had any other children?" Shinji's voice came out deadly even, on the verge of completely losing control.

"I would have thought with the way you acted like you knew everything about the two of us, you would know this. I'm was an orphan from the Great Fuyuki Fire and I am the only chi-"

"Emiya, I have a whole other reason to hate you now and believe me, this one blows the other one straight out the water. I literally cannot stand to be in the same room as you."

Without waiting for the boy to respond, Shinji made his way out the room but stopped himself right in front of the door.

"Oh right, forgot to mention. I hope you realize that Kyudo requires for you to be exemplified perfection and no matter how well you can shoot, that won't take away the scarring of that burn you got. It'd be in everyone'd best interest if you just quit now instead of shaming us."

Shinji heard Shirou suck in a breath but couldn't give less of a damn about him anymore, stepping out of the room and into the hallway where Ayako and Taiga were waiting. The two of them had complex expressions upon seeing him exit and the Matou knew that he didn't have it in him to fake a grin.

"We cleared the air."

"Shinji-"

"Ayako, I'd like to go on a walk to think for a bit so I'll see you tomorrow. You too, Fujimura-sensei."

The pair was unable to protest as the boy left, leaving the two in the hallway.

* * *

Shinji's walk to let off all of his latent anger had led the teenager to go from the hospital in Shinto to the Matou manor on foot and as such, it was now around five by the time he had reached the front gates. But the boy was still very much irritated so he decided to do the one thing that never failed to calm him down and headed to the left side of the courtyard.

Up until about three years ago, the courtyard had been an overgrown mess of greenery and even though they could easily afford for someone to landscape for them, Shinji had taken it upon himself to take care of it singlehandedly. Nowadays, he would rarely do anything other than weeding and basic trimming for the plants that bordered the property along the inside of the fences. Where he spent the bulk of his time was in his own personal garden, something he had fostered and cared for completely on his own.

It existed for two reasons, one after witnessing the benefit of having access to your own personal store of alchemic and medical herbs, the boy had decided to have one of his own. He would never admit that he copied the idea, absolutely loathing having anything in common with the evil bitch. And two, it was the boy's only real hobby and probably one of the few things that he could never tire doing.

Turning the corner around the manor, Shinji was surprised to see that he wasn't the only one out here. Sakura was sat on a bench under the shade of an old unblooming sakura tree, reading a thick book with a furrowed brow.

"It's unlike you to be out here, Sakura, and reading too. What do you have there?"

Sakura yelped and sent the book a few feet into the air, though she managed to catch it before it hit the ground with her own unique brand of clumsy dexterity. Floundering for a moment and shuffling the large thing around, Sakura schooled herself enough to answer as Shinji made his way to her.

"O-oh Nii-san, I wasn't aware that you would be home this early."

"We'll I had planned to be out for a little while longer but today has taken a lot out of me. I was planning on doing some gardening and… it looks like you did too."

"Eh?"

Shinji tapped the now closed book's cover, noting the golden sakura tree embossed on it.

"Well, I suppose arboriculture isn't exactly gardening but it is in the same school of thought."

"Arboriculture? What are yo- I mean, oh no, arboriculture! I-I didn't want you to see that, Nii-san!"

Shinji gave the girl a confused glance but just chalked it up to one of her quirks, tossing his school bag onto the bench and untucking his undershirt from his pants.

"N-nii-san, I wanted to ask you something…"

"Go ahead."

"I had heard from Minori-kun that Emiya-senpai was injured yesterday. Sin-since he was hurt, I thought it would be a good-"

"No."

Sakura flinched at Shinji's tone, completely devoid of emotion. The Matou didn't stop there however and turned to the girl with a face that matched, noting that her expression fell further when she saw that his entire body was tensed.

"Being around a bastard like that is only going to cause problems for you, Sakura. There is not a single good thing that can come from associating with Emiya. Whatever you see in him, it's not real. He is just the same as that…" Shinji's voice trailed off when he pulled himself from his own thoughts and remembered who he was talking to.

Deadbeat sibling or not, Sakura wouldn't want to hear him insult Rin.

"But… I want to help him… Sorry, Nii-san."

"I swear, Sakura, I thought I told you to stop apologizing so damn much. Especially, when it doesn't make any sense to say sorry."

Shinji ran a hand through his hair, trying his hardest to not say something he would regret. The boy glanced back at his garden and let out a deep breath, bleeding out all of his anger and annoyance.

He wanted to destress by coming here, not amp it up even higher.

"Fine, whatever. Do what you want. Just understand that there was a reason for my refusal. If it bites you in the ass later on, that's on you. I tried to tell you this was a bad idea."

Sakura nodded timidly and began to head indoors with her two books, stopping when she saw Shinji take off his blazer and roll up the sleeves of his undershirt.

"Um… Nii-san? Are you really going to be working in your school uniform? Won't it get dirty?"

"Sure it will but I really just want to get into it now rather than wasting time getting changed. That and I'd prefer not to get pulled into a long conversation with Grandfather…"

The Matou stopped after saying that and turned to the manor, remembering the exchange he had last night.

Even if she had just annoyed the hell out of him by asking about that ginger bastard, Grandfather was right.

Shinji let out a sigh and looked back at Sakura. "If you'd like, go run to the shed and grab me my set of gardening tools. I'll show you the basics of gardening. I imagine that it will be a bit more interesting than just reading it from a book."

The girl turned around if not hearing that correctly and upon seeing Shinji nod, grew a small smile and set the books back down.

Sakura walk-ran to the shed and Shinji couldn't hold back his own exhausted chuckles at the sight.

* * *

"Yeah, the past two days have taken a lot out of me but I guess that it's something I have to get used too. Only eighteen months till the Fifth Heaven's Feel."

Even though the stretch of land atop Mt. Enzou, at the back of Ryuudou Temple, was his go to place to be alone, it wasn't his favorite place in Fuyuki City. That honor went to the small park near Mt. Miyama, an unremarkable place that was slowly forgotten by the citizens after the construction of bigger and better recreational options in the newer Shinto.

"I'm glad that you can find my troubles amusing. Someone should at least."

He had wanted to avoid this place since he and Ayako still hadn't made up and the chances of running into her were pretty high. This was their spot after all.

"Well, I just wanted to get you up to speed with the things in my life, like you asked. It's still a bit weird to have someone asking about how I am, but… it's nice."

He was sitting on one of the two swings, softly swaying back and forth as the person on the other side of the call rattled off in a way that made him smile, despite the day that he had.

""I'll see about visiting in the next few months but I can't promise anything. There's a bit too much on my plate right now for me to know for certain."

The moon shone in the clear sky, casting a long shadow on the Matou as he swung alone in the park.

"I know, I know. I'll patch things up with her as soon as possible. I… I don't like leaving it like this either. She's important to me."

Shinji hummed in reply as the other person spoke, laughing lightly when they finished.

"Yeah, I'll let Sakura know and you tell your daughter I said hi. Thanks, Auntie, good night."

Shinji stopped swinging and put his cell phone away, just sitting silently with his eyes closed and soaking in the peaceful atmosphere around him.

_Tug_

And for the fourth time today, Shinji was pulled from behind. Only this time, the boy softly grinned in response.

"Hey there, Ayako."

* * *

_15th of Sextilis, 1560_

_It has been a while, old diary, since I have seen you last. You were last opened some ten years ago where I had listed my grievances with the untalented youth in our family but now much has changed. The Tsaritsa, Anastasia Romanovna, has passed away, by political means no doubt, and things have gotten uncertain as of late. The Tsar has never been the most stable of men but now, many fear that the loss of his wife will unhinge the man even further. His actions at the beginning of his rule, with the creation of the Stoglavy Synod and their indoctrinated method of covering Russia with Orthodox Christians, have left little room for those with pagan beliefs and even less for those of magus blood. While the Church has not been violent as of late, their influence grows rapidly and the elders are getting more and more restless. There are whispers that the situation will grow far worse as time goes on, the Tsar's having lost sight of his own ambitions and listlessly ruling as the noble class does as they please. It would be to our benefit though, if the Tsar decides that the throne is too much for him, us Zolgen will not have to hide in the shadows like we have for the last decade. If not, we will survive as we always have. The youth of my years have grown to be strong and reliable magus, ones that I would trust my life with, and the elders have taken up the task to prepare the rest of the family for the years to come. If the Church comes to our doorstep, I have no doubt that we will drive them back though I myself have some worries. There is a feeling in the air that the older generation has sensed as well, we are on the precipice of some great change though I cannot say if it is for the better or worse. And that cold uncertainty drives a stake of fear straight into my heart._

_Makiri Zolgen_

Excerpt from Diary of Makiri Zolgen

* * *

Translation corner

oyakata is a title that is used both for the head of a yakuza family as well as a sumo coach

chabudai are the low standing tables that are used in Japan, an example of which is in Shirou's living room where everyone eats

Ryuujin Matsuri means dragon festival

безжизненный поток means lifeless flow

Immer Füllend Hohl means always filling hollow

Translation finito

I'd like to apologize. Not for the time it took for this chapter, though I do wish that I had finished it earlier.

No, more for the fact that this is a gigantic chapter. Some of you'll probably love to sit down for an hour to read this but I'll admit that it's a lot.

Oh yeah, I lightly edited last chapter since Shinji's mother's name kinda didn't sound like an actual name. So look at it if you wish.

But before all the new stuff, let me get into some me stuff.

FGO summer 2 and 3 were kinda kicking my ass since I really didn't want to do them but hey completed 2 rerun and 3 is almost done for me, just grinding out the rest of the shop.

Didn't get Summer BB but really didn't have much saved for her so I'll try again next year.

I finally got to the Kara no Kyoukai movies and, with the exception of Future Gospel and Extra Chorus, I finished them. Loved all of them though, unpopular opinion, I liked boy persona of Shiki more than the girl side. Still ended up loving Shiki as a character by the end of it though.

Now only to wait for the Mahoyo translation to finish up.

The length of this chapter mostly stems from the fact that I wanted to have these events to take place in the chapter; Shinji and Genkei's walk, the interaction in front of the greater grail as well as the flashbacks, Shinji and Zouken's conversation, Shinji and Shirou finally meeting in the story, Shinji addressing Sakura wanting to help Shirou, and the final phone call.

And all the bits with Ayako. Not too sure if I got her character down but at the very least, I like the way that I can write her.

The chapter just kinda got away from me once I started writing it as you can see but I hope that all this work was for the better. I just didn't want to leave some of the plot either for the next chapter or worse, have another chapter in 2002.

Don't wanna drone on and on since I noticed last time that 1/11th of chapter 3 was just an AN so let's get to it.

The Ryuudou parents are characters that never actually make an appearance though if you played Hollow Ataraxia, you'll hear mentions of them in the temple segments. I really wanted to flesh them out since I like both Issei and Reikan immensely and the whole lore of the Ryuudou temple.

I didn't make up that story about the dragon god and the monk, I just added in details to actually make it a serviceable tale.

I did however change the Ryuudou from being normal monks to actually practicing their own kind of magecraft. They mention that once upon a time there were Ommyoudou practitioners in the Ryuudou but not anymore and I thought that was boring. So I changed it.

Genkei and Natsumi are the parents names and I hope I did well enough to show that they once knew Kiritsugu on a personal level. It's said from one of the material books I think, that the Ryuudou head and Raiga both cared Kiritsugu well enough to make a big deal with the plans of his funeral.

I'll get into it later but the Ryuudou know about the magus families in Fuyuki due to them having a beef with the Tohsaka ages ago. That's why Genkei knew about the Matou.

On the topic of ages ago, if you weren't aware, it is said that the daughter of Nagato was more helpful in the construction of the Heaven's Feel ritual than even he was. I quite liked that fact and decided to include the girl, giving her the name Ayaka Tohsaka. Moastly just a tongue in cheek nod to the original Fate/Stay Night protagonist but keep an eye out for her later.

Zelretch, I really didn't mess with him too much. I did however change his sword mystic code to be, you know, a sword. Instead on the dagger that is shown in Heaven's Feel, this new mystic code is a 3 and 1/2 foot weapon that looks just as incredible as it actually is.

And before I forget (actually did forget since I edited this part in after the upload), there are a few instances where I refer to a person or thing that could easily be searched up for an answer in lore but that's not the case here. If you think surfing the Type-Moon wiki to find out what's going to happen with some obscure thing I tossed in, you're gonna be out of luck. Most if not all of the new things in this fic are things that I have painstakingly deliberated on and there is still so much left to uncover so just understand that the most obvious answer to why I added this or that is not likely to be right.

Kuzuki is a character that I feel doesn't get enough love due to the fact that he's the least interesting half of the servant master pair. Which sucks because he is incredibly written, at least in Hollow Ataraxia. I hope that I have and will continue to do his character justice.

The Edelfelt are something that I kinda foreshadowed in the second chapter when going over Shinji's school life in London. I know that most people like to pick Luvia for obvious reasons, I went with her sister, someone that I feel would be a lot more mellow in comparison but will banter all the same. To me, the Edelfelt were the perfect solution to the whole "Sakura needs dick to live, magic sperm something something" since now she has something to siphon off.

It's kinda interesting how I came up with the younger sister's name. See, Luvia used to be the name of one of the principalities in Finland so I looked at the alphabet, saw that L was the 12 letter and looked for the closest thing to an X name, since it was letter 12x2, in the previous principalities. I soon settled for a Y name and Yläne popped up. I just added an a to it and called it a day.

Before anyone gets up in arms about it, Sakura sucks at cooking cause she's never really tried to learn, only doing what she can on her own. Obviously that changes after she starts helping out Shirou but right now, she knows jack.

Ayako is also going to be a side character in the spotlight with Issei since I do love their characters. Ayako in particular as she kinda takes the place of Shirou as Shinji's best friend. There is a bit of story that needs to be told about the beginning of their friendship but at least for right now, this is good enough. There are sprinkles of it littered throughout the chapter.

Oh yeah, let me know if you can figure out the two servants of Nagato and Zouken. Don't think that it is too hard but I'll give you a hint. In my head, All Tohsaka are destined to summon an Archer and one that is incredibly powerful in their own right. Also every single Archer that has been summoned in all five wars came from a different part of the world. For lancers it is even easier, every lancer is Irish.

I'll address a few reviews though I hope you don't think that I've become too much of a hot shot to speak to you personally, I just don't want to inflate my word count artificially.

FakerHero, Hekkasi, RayDjok, BlueCore, TodayParade, and Diamond of Soul: Thank you so much for the support. Every review that tells me I'm making something that makes others enjoy only makes me work harder so thank you guys for your words of praise.

Guest: I'm glad that I'm getting people thinking. Yeah, I've spent quite along time trying to make my own parts gel with the established lore and I'd like to think that I've done well so far. I've read a bit of Faith and no ill will to the author, SIs are not really my cup of tea. I do like his concepts though and can tell that he's spent the time crafting his own workable magical system in the Nasuverse. Stay tuned to see what I have planned with my own additions.

ggboyking: You're absolutely right that Shinji is being an asshole to Sakura and if it was anyone else they probably wouldn't treat her as harshly. But it's not. I wanted to make a believable Shinji and well, Shinji didn't like Sakura one bit. It's incredibly irrational for Shinji to hate Sakura for her circumstances but his own are pretty shit too. I didn't want this story to have Shinji, Sakura, or really any other character be a hatesink or just unbelievably evil. There is reasoning for all the characterizations that I have made with each character so I hope that you will still give this story a try.

Don't have much else to say other than the next chapter will be on the eve of the Holy Grail War only a few weeks before.

We're about to hit the beginning of Fate/Stay Night so I hope that you guys are as excited as I am. Believe me I got a whole lotta stuff planned and it's gonna be a fun ride.

Drop a review, positive or negative, I live off the things.

Gonna rewatch the Heaven's Feel movies in anticipation for an inevitable camrip of Spring Song, so see you guys later.

DSDAD out


	5. Onset of an Age Long Conflict

Happy Spooktober, ya goofs

I do not own the works of Kinoko Nasu

* * *

**Onset of an Age Long Conflict**

**January 12 2004**

It was still dark out.

Not an unfamiliar sight but Shinji imagined that many rarely saw Homurahara's Kyudo dojo like this. The school's courtyard was completely empty, understandably so, though a few of the more earnest teachers had begun to ready themselves for the school day and the high school behind the teenager was slowly coming to life.

Fishing in his pocket, Shinji pulled out a key with a cute mascot tiger attached it and put it into the locked door to the dojo.

This in itself was a relatively new thing that Shinji did, only having started this five o'clock routine once winter break had ended a few weeks ago, though it wasn't all that different than what he was used to. Coming to the Kyudo dojo a few hours early had been a part of his mornings ever since the beginning of this school year, when Ayako had become club captain. The girl was probably the most skilled person in the club when it came to Kyudo but she was also a pretty normal person all the same.

Waking up at twilight to practice shooting things with a bow wasn't exactly the first thing that came to mind for most.

Both Taiga and Ayako trusted Shinji well enough to allow him to use the spare key to the dojo from the main office, as the vice-captain usually didn't have such a privilege.

Shinji made his way to the back wall of the building where all of the Kyudo uniforms were, each nestled in a shelf with one for each club member. He grabbed his own and changed swiftly, not bothering to go to the changing room. Putting his school uniform on the same hanger, the Matou put his right hand through the glove and went to the other end of the wall for a bow and arrows.

Something like this was a necessity for Shinji nowadays, he just couldn't stand to waste time sleeping anymore so he just filled in those hours with either self-study, creating his own medicines and drugs, or Kyudo. And even with all the things happening in Fuyuki right now and the fact that he had been up the better part of the night looking at the news reports, two hours of rest was still better than usual.

His aversion to sleep wasn't only because the boy felt that he needed to occupy that time productively, it was also because staying at home was not exactly desirable. The atmosphere of the Matou household had changed ever so slightly as the war creeped closer and closer, though Shinji was sure that Sakura had only noticed his own changes.

For the past year and a half, the girl had made it her mission to aid Emiya, even after the boy had gotten better. Shinji had told her from the start that it was foolish to get attached to him but Sakura had ignored him, making herself almost a fixture of the Emiya household ever since.

Shinji supposed that it would have been good for him to have cut off their contact as soon as he could, after the excuse of helping the injured Emiya had passed but he didn't. He wasn't the girl's keeper; if she wanted to play with fire even after being warned, it wasn't his problem when she gets burned.

And even with his own feelings about Emiya Shirou and his family aside, that foolish girl should have noticed how closely Grandfather was watching her nowadays.

Shinji made his way to the end of the wooden flooring of the dojo, around three feet from when the lawn began, and set down his arrows, kneeling silently with his bow at rest in his left hand and his eyes closed.

The sun had begun to lightly illuminate the skies in its rising, peaking slightly over the roof of the dojo and into the lawn in front of the Matou. It was the peak of tranquility, the only sound around was the quiet murmurings of the wind blowing by.

But none of that mattered.

The world around the teenager ceased to exist as he focused only on two things, breathing and the bow in his hand. Eyes still closed, Shinji grabbed two arrows from the ground and took on his shooting stance, left side of his body facing down range and body completely balanced. He readied his grip on the bow, positioning one arrow in between the pointer and index fingers of his left hand and the second arrow held by its head with the pinky and ring finger of his right hand. Shinji raised the bow above his head, grasping the bowstring with the thumb, index, and pointer fingers of his right hand and inhaled deeply.

The teenager's eyes shot open as he pulled both hands apart, stretching to his full arms span with the nock of the arrow made parallel with his jawbone. Even with his vision returned, Shinji only acknowledged himself and the bow in his hands as real and existing.

Nothing else mattered.

For a second that lasted an eternity, the Matou held that form, sightlessly looking ahead with the arrow poised to strike. In his mind, the boy saw not a target to shoot at but a point so far ahead that even the suggestion that it was able to be reached by his own means was laughable. But that didn't dissuade Shinji at all, if anything it only made his desire to reach and go even further beyond that distance even stronger.

After all, this was no different than his own goals; something that was insurmountable, intangible for a person talentless like him yet he struggled for it all the same, weaknesses and flaws be damned.

It didn't matter.

The arrow leapt from his grasp and flied true, only a scant moment had passed before Shinji head the familiar sound of the target being struck and the arrow being halted. Paying that no mind, the teenager began the process once more, grabbing another arrow to hold in his right hand as the other rested on the bowstring.

It wasn't that he didn't care for knowing if the arrow had stuck the center or not, it's just that wasn't his intention. As foolish and as impossible as it was, Shinji only wanted the arrow to strike through the target and never stop; always seeking that point he imagined beyond the horizon.

But just because it was impossible didn't mean that it couldn't happen, it only meant that he had to try once more each time he failed.

As Grandfather had once said hundreds of years prior, "To be of this blood, to be a Matou is to challenge your own humanity and win."

And Shinji was never one for giving up.

* * *

Ayako yawned as she made her way to the dojo, stretching upwards once she reached the door to the building and fumbling with her bag for the key.

_Thwack_

She was a morning person through and through but getting back to the swing of things after having a vacation from school was always difficult for her. The act of her checking out the dojo key from the front office had been a complete blur, Ayako had known that she had said thank you to the office lady but hadn't been able to make out a single word the woman had said. She had only nodded and smiled until the woman waved goodbye.

_Thwack_

Breakfast had been much of the same, her being awake before anyone else in the house. Ayako could faintly remember the taste of grape jelly and the sensation of crunchiness so she thinks it was probably toast that she ate. Minori was still snoring loud enough to be heard from outside his room and both Mom and Dad didn't need to be up until 6:30 so she had to make a hasty meal for herself.

_Thwack_

Ayako once again cursed the fact that pockets were somehow not an essential part of female clothing, hating that she had to rely on a big bag to hold things like her phone or keys. Her morning was already less than ideal because of that annoying sound so not being able to find the dojo key was starting to piss her off.

_Thwack_

Reaching into the depths of her bag, Ayako felt something jagged. "Finally! I thought I might have lost the damn thing." Grinning victoriously, the girl pulled the key out and began to unlock the door.

"Huh? That's odd, the door's not-"

Only to stop when she finally recognized what that damn noise was. The girl groaned though she wasn't sure why she was even surprised.

Pushing through the already unlocked door and into the dojo, the Kyudo captain glanced up at the clock in the club's meeting room and her expression of tired annoyance deepened.

It was a quarter past six.

And even with the unignorable sounds of Ayako coming into the dojo, the impact of arrows continued at the same rate, almost robotically.

Ayako entered the shooting range and spotted the annoyingly familiar sight of Shinji at the firing line, completely ignoring her.

Well, that wouldn't do.

She waited until he had fired his last arrow, inching closer and closer to the teenager until she was right behind him and he had put his bow in a resting position.

And then she wacked him in the head with her bag.

"OW DAMNIT, what the hel-" The Matou stopped abruptly once he turned around and caught sight of his assailant, "…I'm not surprised it's you but why?"

"Because, dumbass, I thought that both Fujimaru-sensei and I told you to take it easy. That means not showing up at the dojo before the captain or club advisor gets here." She paused for a moment and then reconsidered her words. "Well, Fujimura-sensei is a different case since takes a bit to get here because she goes to Emiya's place in the morning but you shouldn't be here before I am."

"I am taking it easy. I only got here a few minutes ago."

"Liar," Ayako reached up and grabbed Shinji by his chin, craning his head down, "those bags of yours have gotten even worse. I can tell that you haven't been getting enough sleep, even less than you did when I first met you."

Shinji shook off her hold dismissively and turned back down range, walking off the wooden floor on to the lawn.

"I'm fine, Ayako. I would have thought that the two of you would have been glad that you had such a diligent club member."

"Not when the same member is putting his health at risk, I know that you've been here since five, Shinji."

Shinji had reached the target at the end of the lawn by the time Ayako had replied but even with his back turned she could tell that had caught him, with how he had halted in grabbing his arrows and his shoulders raising up to his neck.

Ayako sighed almost amused, even though it had been over three years since they had become friends, there were still some things that never changed between them.

Chiefly, her ability to see through any of Shinji's lies.

"Alright, fine, fine. You got me. What would you have me do instead of this in the dojo made for archery? You do realize that's why we're here, right?" Shinji said, walking past Ayako to return his bow and arrows.

"You, of all people, don't need any more practice. Here," Ayako pulled him by the arm to the meeting room and pointed to the electronic kettle, "you make tea for the two of us while I change into my practice uniform."

"And then?"

"And then we'll sit and talk. At least until Fujimura-sensei arrives. I'd like to just relax a bit before everyone else shows up and I know such a concept is unheard of for you but you can at least try to do this for me."

Shinji only sighed in response, running a hand through his long blue hair and made his way to the kettle.

Ayako grabbed him by the wrist before he got too far and he turned back to her with an odd expression on his face. She wasn't exactly sure what her own face was displaying to Shinji but the fact that he now looked a bit worried told her enough.

"…You know even though we've hung out every day for the past month, I can't help but feel like you've been going through the motions. I can barely tell if you're there even if you're right next to me. Shinji, please. I really want to understand what's going on."

The girl saw his features soften at her plea and she let out a breath as the tension left her body.

"I- You're right. Completely right, Ayako." Shinji's gaze hit the ground before flitting back to lock eyes with Ayako. "I guess I've been a pretty big ass to you the past few weeks, huh?"

"I'm sure you had your reasons… I'll get changed and you get on that tea."

Shinji stood there with no response, still looking straight into her eyes and was only shaken from that state when Ayako let go of his wrist. Shaking his head, he only nodded and turned away hesitantly before going to the kettle.

Ayako lingered there for only a moment, sensing that Shinji had something on his mind to say but she could tell that whatever it was, the boy had decided against it. She left the room and grabbed her uniform, heading to the club changing rooms.

The girl changed quickly, wasting no time in the action though her movements were still sluggish as her mind wandered.

Ever since Shinji had taken a trip to Russia during the winter break, his personality had changed. Not drastically and not even enough for most people to notice but for Ayako, the change worried her immensely.

He was silent almost throughout the day, staring off into space and looking through people rather than at them. Before, you could barely see him without his face in a book but now he looked way too distracted to even attempt reading. Add that to the fact that he was obviously working himself to the bone, for God knows what. Coming to the dojo to practice for hours even before most teachers arrived and staying up late every night for the past month, the toll was apparent on the boy.

And all this worrying she was doing only reminded her of what she was told last summer by Shinji's aunt.

"_Shinji… He's got a lot on his plate, you know that better than even Sakura-chan. He has it in his head that there are certain things that he has to do no matter what, even if it ends up badly for him. My nephew is determined, I'll give him that but you are right to be concerned. Shinji is stubborn to a fault and is almost incapable of letting anyone know when he's overwhelmed. Heh, he shared that same quality with his mother… the two really are too much alike… That's why I'm asking you, keep an eye on him the next few months. Both of us already know that the boy barely has any sense of self-preservation ever since that business the two of you got caught up in those four years ago so at the very least, I'll know he's in good hands."_

Compound that and what she now knew about that certain field trip and why Shinji even had wanted to go there in the first place from Aki-chan and Ayako was convinced that something big was about to happen.

Whatever it was that Shinji was hiding from her, he was going to in the thick of it. But that didn't matter because whatever it was, she was going to get it out of him. One way or another.

Ayako reentered the meeting room and saw that Shinji was sitting at one of the corners of the chabudai with a cup of tea placed in front of him. There was another cup on the table, adjacent to where he was sitting so Ayako made her way to the spot.

The two were only separated by a foot of distance, though being this close in the clubroom didn't happen that often as the two were always too occupied with helping the younger members. Moments like this came far and few between so the two enjoyed when they had down time like this.

Ayako glanced down at the cup in front of her and looked back at Shinji.

"Did you-"

"Yes, poured a bit of water in your cup to begin with, prepared the tea as usual for my cup, and then poured the rest of it in yours. A slightly diluted cup of not quite as bitter green tea for a completely unfiltered girl."

"I'll ignore that comment since you made it the way I like."

Both Shinji and Ayako sipped their tea silently, thinking to themselves on how to even start a conversation without it coming out awkwardly. In Ayako's case, she was involuntarily tapping the side of her cup and shooting glances at the boy, trying to figure out what was bouncing around in that head of his.

She didn't have to wait long as Shinji set his tea down on the table and begun speaking, though he didn't turn to face her.

"Did I ever tell you what I wanted to do after we graduate?"

Ayako blinked owlishly.

"… No, I don't think we've ever really talked about that before. But what does-"

"I've been thinking about it a lot as of late and honestly it's surprising that, up until I had taken that trip during Winter break, I had never once actually thought about what I was going to do after high school. I had always had it in my head that there was only one thing that I ever needed to accomplish in my life and had only worked towards making that goal a reality." Shinji smiled to himself and glanced up at the ceiling. "I know that is such an odd thing to notice now of all times but I really never even gave a thought to what came after and now… it all seems kinda foolish to me."

"Why does it seem so odd to you? We're still in the middle of our youth, Shinji, it's completely alright for you to not know exactly what you wanna do with the rest of your life. You've got the rest of this year to figure that out, I still haven't smoothed everything out either. I'm still looking for a college that fits."

Shinji's grin deepened and he turned to Ayako, an amused expression on his face as he lightly shook his head in response. "Right, college. That's what comes next, huh…" The boy laughed to himself as though what he had said qualified for even the lowest bar of jokes.

Ayako was still utterly confused by the boy but she could tell that Shinji wasn't talking about schooling when he brought up what comes after.

"What's wrong with that? Going to college, finding a nice job, getting married, and then having kids, isn't that how it usually goes?"

"Not me. Maybe after graduating, getting a nice spot of land some place quiet, fertile throughout the year and out in the country far enough that I couldn't be bothered." Shinji's expression softened as he thought aloud, staring into space a little over her head. "Enough land for both fruit trees and vegetable patches as well as some crops. A few flowerbeds tossed around the place for a splash of color. I can imagine that but… anything more than that, no way."

"As much as the idea of mini Shinjis running around scares me, I think you'd be a great father." Ayako felt her cheeks warm as Shinji locked eyes with her once more, a question in his gaze. "W-what? It's not that surprising that I'd think that, what with how you take care of your household almost single handedly. I don't think there's anyone that I know that has to take care of both a sibling and a grandparent, all while keeping their grades at the top of the year and being a part of the leadership in an athletic club. Plus, I know you have a soft spot for kids, don't think I didn't notice you giving little Tsuna sweets while I was talking to Shiori-san yesterday. And I remember seeing you watching over the elementary schoolers when we were in middle school and that was when you were at your worst in attitude. Even when you're in a slump, you still go out of your way to make children happy."

The boy looked at her, mildly surprised if his raised eyebrows were to be believed, and shrugged his shoulder as if giving up with a small exhale. "Sure, guilty as charged. I admit that I do like wasting time spoiling brats, Kaito and Shiori-san's little munchkin is no exception. Probably because it's not much different than keeping you occupied; just about the same attention span."

The affronted girl made to retort but Shinji raised a hand to stop her, eyes twinkling.

"Never said that was a bad thing, it just means you're probably one of those eternally young types. Like Taiga-san." He laughed once more upon seeing the dry look Ayako gave him. "Joking, joking. And for what it's worth, I have no doubt that you'd be a great mother, Ayako."

The warmth that had only just subsided on Ayako's face burned anew at the words and she could tell that her whole face was red, with the way the corners of Shinji's mouth raised after speaking. Her eyes narrowed at the mirth in his and she forcefully calmed herself down.

It was supposed to be him on the backfoot not her!

"Of course I know that but that's not what we were talking about. Someone like you would love to have kids of their own, why don't you?"

The laughter stopped and Shinji just let out a big sigh, smile gone and his eyes hardened.

"I would but I can't. It's just that simple. I'm not egotistical enough to ignore my own morals and I'd rather not tempt fate any more than I already have." He looked away and whispered something else but it was too quiet for the girl to hear despite their close proximity. She could only make out hearing "too cruel" and "ends with" but before she could ask Shinji to speak up, he trained his eyes to the ceiling and continued. "Marriage, kids, I'm just not cut out for that kinda life. Maybe if something changes in the future but really, I don't think I have time to worry about things like that. Not now."

Ayako thought about not letting that topic come to a close but decided against it. There were more important things to address.

"Shinji, what exactly is that thing you are preparing for? What is it that has got you acting so out of it lately?"

Shinji sucked in a breath and made eye contact with her, his tired gaze meeting her own.

The boy's eyes had a quality to them that was only shared by a handful of other students, Emiya Shirou and Tohsaka Rin, came to mind, but his were different. While all of them had a kind of hardness in their stares, a maturity that didn't fit with how young they were, Shinji's didn't look out of place. His eyes didn't just give the image that he had seen too much too young, they looked far too aged and weary to be the eyes of a seventeen-year-old. It fit perfectly with the way the boy acted, way more mature than anyone their age. Shinji must have never had the chance to be a kid, having to become an adult far before he ever should have. That was the only way a teenager's eyes would end up looking that jaded, that old.

It made sense, the death of his mother during childbirth, his uncle passing away during the Fuyuki fire without even a body to bury, his father succumbing to his battle with alcohol only four years ago and the loss of someone he saw as a kindred spirit only months after but Ayako couldn't help but think that those eyes formed from something deeper.

"Something came to my attention recently, it's the reason that I even went on that trip to Russia. I had a question in mind and set out to the one place I knew would have an answer and well… I got it answered. A whole lot of things I've been questioning my entire life now make perfect sense but… Now knowing what I do, I'm almost certain that I was better off just wondering aimlessly. Ignorance is bliss and all that noise. It's been a lot to… digest and I guess that I haven't been a hundred percent in the moment since."

"Are you going to tell me what it was or just leave me in suspense?"

Shinji had picked up his cup again and had turned back to face the side of the table opposite to him. He paused midsip and trained one eye on the girl after hearing her question. Ayako huffed upon seeing the boy ignore her and instead continue drinking.

"Well, the main reason that I had even gone on that trip was to see if what my grandfather had said was really true, that the Matou were the only living members of what used to be the Zolgen family." His voice had taken on a more subdued tone and he had hunched over the table, supporting his head with his left hand. "I wasn't expecting much, I had read letters and traced paper trails to see if there was any chance that he could have been wrong but found nothing. And going there, maybe I was holding on to some buried hope and that's what made it so difficult to accept, only proved it further. There hasn't been a single person living with the surname, Zolgen, for four hundred years. Other than the ones who came to Japan, the entirety of the Zolgen are long since dead. The only family I have left, or rather that I've ever had, is here in Fuyuki."

"You have your grandfather and Sakura at least." Shinji turned away from her at the mention of his sister which Ayako found weird but the siblings always were odd to begin with. "And your aunt and cousin out of town."

Shinji only hummed in response, his back still facing her.

"If you were trying to distract me from my initial question, you're not doing a very good job. Shinji, I know that all this isn't enough to faze you, you're still hiding something." The girl faltered for a moment after saying that and then, hesitantly continued. "…This doesn't have anything to do with SH- With him, does it?"

"No, believe me, it would probably be easier to deal with if it was. At least he had the class to let things end after he died, my own feelings about it aside." Shinji glanced over his shoulder to meet eyes with her and Ayako could tell he was doing that just to reassure her. "It's been basically four years already, I've had more than enough time to get over it. And even if it was about that asshole, I would have either brought it up to you earlier or call those two and then let you know, the same as I've done anytime I wallow in self-pity like a child. This has nothing to do with Tohno."

Ayako let out a breath but didn't relax fully. It may not have been as bad she thought it was but the fact that Shinji would rather willing relive what he called the down right worst moment in his life over what was currently weighing on him spoke volumes.

"Well then, go on."

"Tell me, Ayako. Do you believe in superstitions?

"Shinji."

'I'm going somewhere with this, believe me. Just answer the question."

Ayako sighed, wondering why she even bothered to worry about this idiot. Especially when he did his absolute best to never answer her clearly, always sideways responses and his hairpullingly frustrating habit of deflecting the conversation somewhere else.

"Yeah, sure. I've even gone to those fortunetelling booths that have been set up in Shinto a few times and I know for a fact that sticking around with you is bad for my health. If it turns out that you just pull in bad luck, it wouldn't surprise me."

Shinji's shoulders shook briefly as he once again laughed and Ayako flinched.

The laughter was hollow this time.

"Ha ha, you aren't too off base there." Shinji said, turning his head back to her and grinning with that same enduring and complacent expression on his face as always, as though being in pain was normal and to think otherwise would just be a comforting falsehood. Something that was a common sight on the boy's face even from when she had first met him and one of the few things that Ayako could say she truly hated.

Before she had even noticed it, her hands were in motion and had grabbed Shinji's right hand in both of her own. The Matou started at the contact and looked bewildered for a moment and to be honest, Ayako felt the same way. But this was the easiest way to get it through his thick skull, that he wasn't alone and that she cared.

"Shinji, even if you were the unluckiest guy on Earth, I would stick with you. I still don't understand what you're skirting around but honestly whatever it is, it wouldn't change how I see you. You are my best friend, Shinji, superstitions and the like wouldn't change that. And because we're best friends that means that you don't always have to be a stoic broody loner. You don't have to feel like it you against the world. I've leaned on you plenty in the past, you can do the same to me. It's how this thing works."

Shinji's gaze moved from their hands to meet her eyes and a smile, a small but genuine smile, spread across his face. The sight of it was contagious as Ayako could feel her own grin growing in response and she couldn't help but be relieved.

This was the first time in a long time that she had seen Shinji smile so brightly.

The two spent a moment just beaming at each other and before long the sight of both of them grinning like idiots caused them to crack-up. The oppressive atmosphere from before was forgotten as the sound of snickering bounced around the room and Ayako felt as though a weight had been lifted from her heart.

Shinji schooled his expression down to his usual disinterested self but the remnants of a smile could still be seen.

"Ah damnit, you've playing unfair with that. How can I dismiss the heartfelt words of my club captain? I swear I felt my heart flutter for a second." The boy dodged Ayako's swipe to his head almost instinctually and continued despite the promise of harm. "No need to worry about snagging a boyfriend if you talk all cutesy like that."

Ayako could feel her face heat up and start creeping down to her neck. She grabbed the floor cushion next to her and tossed it at the boy but once again he deftly dodged.

"Or at the very least, you won't have to rely on that back up plan of Minori pretending to be-" Ayako's cup impacted the wall only inches from Shinji's head and she grinned vindictively as he looked blankly at the wall and then back at her.

"Funny that you become talkative when it's my worries and other things I've told you in confidence. Keep in mind that I missed on purpose."

"All I'm saying is that if you start warming up to him now, I'm sure that you'll get a button from Emiy-"

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Ayako began chasing the insufferable ass around the room, always frustratingly just out of reach. "ONE MORE WORD FROM THAT MOUTH OF YOURS, MATOU SHINJI, AND YOU'LL REGRET IT!"

He stumbled on the previously thrown cushion which gave her the chance to grab on to the back of his collar and was about to throttle Shinji to death, a respectable punishment for his crimes, when the sound of laughter reached her ears.

"Aha ha ha ha, you two are so lively! Ah, to be a high schooler again would be such fun!" Fujimura Taiga spoke from the doorway, grinning even wider upon seeing the surprised look on both Shinji and Ayako's faces.

"Fujimura-sensei? Wh-when did you get here?" Even though she was thoroughly shocked at the woman's arrival, Ayako tightened her grip as Shinji had tried to escape during the distraction.

"Right about when Shinji-kun dodged the floor cushion. I would have let you know that I was here earlier buuuuuuut I would have missed out on this so I decided against it. Now, normally I would have to scold you two for fooling around in the clubroom but since you two are my favorite members, I'll let it slide."

"Taiga-san, save me," Shinji's voice came out monotone from his seated position on the ground, collar still balled up in Ayako's hand and having realized it was futile, did nothing to escape, "the club captain is abusing her power and is resorting to violence, as usual."

"I'm sure that you deserve it so I'm willing to turn a blind eye. And call me sensei!"

"Allowing concessions to the rules for those in power is the first sign of corruption in the leadership, I demand a resignation from both of you and a written apol-gak!"

"Can it, you drama queen." Ayako sighed as she released her hold on the boy, though she did do it a bit rougher than necessary and given Shinji rubbing his neck, he thought so as well. "Fujimura-sensei, you're here earlier than usual."

"Am I? It's about to be 6:50, that'd make me late today. And sorry for that, Shirou and Sakura-chan made a huge breakfast this morning and I just couldn't resist. There was smoked salmon, radish and carrot miso soup…"

As Taiga continued listing the many things she ate for breakfast, Ayako turned to the clock and saw that what she had said was true. She and Shinji had spent almost forty minutes together without even noticing it.

The girl glanced at Shinji and saw that he was back on his feet and seemed to be studying her as well, though he looked away after a few moments of eye contact. Ayako opened her mouth to interrupt Taiga but Shinji beat her to it.

"Taiga-san, I'll let you and Ayako begin getting things together for the practice routines the newer members have to learn. I'll handle getting the range ready before anyone else gets here."

Shinji made his way out the room before either of them could say anything and the two were left feeling a bit confused at his abrupt departure. Ayako was about to ask if Taiga had heard what Shinji and she were talking about and if she did, how much, but she was stopped once again when Shinji stuck his head back into view from behind the door frame.

"Thanks for that, Ayako. I was feeling out of it ever since I got back and no matter what I did, I couldn't get out of this funk. But now that you dragged it out of me and forced me to tell you about it, it doesn't feel like it's weighing me down nearly as much anymore. It means a lot, so thanks."

Shinji didn't bother sticking around and left again, his footsteps being the only noise throughout the entire dojo. Taiga turned her attention from the now empty door frame to the girl with a tender smile.

"That boy… He really can be a sweetheart when he wants to be."

Ayako sighed but couldn't fight the grin that had formed, a warm feeling blossoming in her chest that reminded her of a fateful night in a playground with a boy covered in blood making a promise to a stubborn girl.

"Yeah, he really is a softie, isn't he?"

* * *

Normally, Shinji spent his lunchtime with Ayako, either in the dojo's meeting room or up on the school's roof. Occasionally, he would have lunch in the student council room with Issei, when Emiya's unwanted presence was nowhere to be found. Rarely, he would spend time in the teacher's lounge talking to Kuzuki-san or helping Taiga with the club paperwork since the woman often complained, "it was too boring to do alone and Kuzuki-san's handwriting is too neat for me to let him help. Mou, how can a man have better penmanship than a cutie like me?".

Once in a blue moon, would Shinji spend lunch in the presence of a Tohsaka.

"Shinji, why exactly did you want to talk to me? I thought there was an agreement between our families to limit our contact as much as possible."

Rin had agreed to meet Shinji on the rooftop after he had shown up to her classroom right before classes started, much to the surprise of Ayako and the track and field trio as well as the girl in question. He had only spared the time to wave to Ayako before whispering that he needed to speak to the Second Owner, at which Rin dropped her hostility and nodded.

Rin had beat the boy here and was waiting for him with her back against one of the large AC units. Her lunch rested on the ground near her feet unopened and Shinji had a feeling that it would stay that way.

There was hardly time to waste when the Fifth Heaven's Feel had already begun.

"Don't try and act like that applies to the three of us, that promise was made by men that are either dead or should be."

Rin only huffed in response.

"Are you aware of what has happened so far?" Shinji said as he joined her, leaning on another unit a few feet away. "Has Kotomine let you know or have you been left in the dark?"

"… It is rather infuriating that you always act like you know more than me but if you have something to inform me about, I'd appreciate it. As far as I'm aware, there have been three servants summoned so far, one for the Einzbern master and the other two, magus of the Mage's Association. The Einzbern summoned theirs a little under two months ago and, from what Kirei said, both Clocktower magus have met with him shortly after completing their own summoning. He had said that they each came to the Church sometime last week, though he didn't say anything more other than the classes that have been taken. Berserker, Lancer, and Caster have all been summoned so far which leaves only Saber, Archer, Rider, and Assassin. Which is surprising since I would have thought the Einzbern would have summoned Saber like they did in the previous war."

"Well, it's good that the Second Owner is at least attempting to keep an eye on the situation even if most of the information is coming from the Overseer. The only thing I can say about the servants is that the Einzbern were already burned once using Saber last time, I have no doubt that they are looking for more firepower in their summoning this time. Especially after the showing during the Fourth Heaven's Feel, Berserker would seem the most promising servant for them."

Rin gave Shinji an apprising look and he could tell that she was trying to discern if he was lying or not.

"Did Zouken or your father inform you of what happened during the Fourth Holy Grail War?"

"Did Kotomine not with you?"

Rin clicked her tongue and looked away.

"All that aside," Shinji spoke as amicably as possible, it wouldn't do to have her storm off before he said his piece, "there's something I feel you should know. One of the Clocktower masters has already been killed, happened last night."

"What?" Rin turned back to him, eyes wide and skin blanched. "The war hasn't even officially started yet, battles between servants and master aren't allowed to occur!"

"And yet, one of them is already dead."

The twin-tailed girl got into his face, her own set in a grim scowl and her eyes, a hardened aqua.

"How do you even know this, Shinji? What if this is just you trying to fool me?"

"There's not much to gain by doing this so early into the war, deception works better when there are actual stakes." Shinji responded with a lighthearted grin though his tone showed the veiled annoyance by the girl's continued suspicion. "And anyway, have you not been keeping your eye on the news? There was a whole story from late last night about how a penthouse in Shinto had suffered an internal fire throughout the entire building."

"…No," Rin avoided the Matou's eyes and her voice became tinged with embarrassment, "I don't have a television or computer in my home."

Shinji paused in his retort, giving the Tohsaka heiress an incredulous look that only made the girl squirm even more. Shaking his head, he continued from where he had left off. "Apparently, there were no survivors though strangely enough, there were fifty orphaned children wearing the same light blue gowns found in the vicinity of the building only an hour before the fire. Weird, isn't it?"

"Fifty children? That penthouse was a magus workshop?"

"Yeah and from the sound of it, one of the Mage's Association's dogs were prepared to siphon the lifeforce of all those raw, young materials to fight the rest of the masters."

Rin began pacing as she took in all the information that he had told her, whispering to herself and occasionally shaking her head. She turned back to Shinji after stewing on it for a bit, tension still prevalent on her face.

"You still haven't explained how you know that a master perished. Did Zouken tell you this?"

"Unlike you, I don't have magecraft to rely on when it comes to my information gathering. And no, my grandfather has said nothing to me about the war so far other than what servants have been summoned though I doubt that he is unaware. I've made it a habit to keep an eye on all the things that happen in Fuyuki for the past few years. Who owns what buildings, recent purchases of land and vacant properties, what families have lived here and for how long, and keeping an eye on suspicious foreigners when they arrive in Fuyuki. I learned that about two years ago, that previously vacant penthouse was purchased by one Atrum Galliasta, a member of one of the more alchemy rooted families in the Clocktower. The fact that there was the charred remains of only one male when there were over twenty other corpses throughout the entire building, well, it didn't take long for me to connect the dots. If you still don't believe me, here."

Shinji pulled out a small notebook and tore out a few pages before holding it out to the Second owner. She eyed it curiously and upon seeing that the boy wasn't about to explain yet, took it and quickly scanned over it.

"The address of the penthouse… Sketches of the building's layout… What Galliasta had been up to for the past three weeks prior? Battle ability and notes on his build and appearance? Shinji, you've already rounded up this much information?"

"Yeah, but there's still a bunch that doesn't make much sense. But that doesn't matter to me, the guy's dead so I have no need to keep investigating. Though I imagine that you planned on doing your own snooping so what has no more use to me is better in your hands."

Rin glanced at the pages and then back at Shinji before letting out a sigh. She folded them up and pocketed them, looking both grateful and annoyed.

"I appreciate it but since I don't like the feeling of being in debt to you, I'll let you know if I find anything more on my end. Though I have to ask," The girl folded her arms under her chest and gave Shinji a glare, "I wonder if you have such comprehensive notes on me as well."

"Hey, keeping track of what you know and don't know is better for the long run. Don't hate me for trying to get a leg up."

Rin continued to burn a hole in Shinji's head with her eyes for a little longer but seeing there was no reaction, turned away with a huff and refocused on the matter at hand.

"Galliasta's death, it had to be the work of the other Clocktower master though knowing which servant was used is difficult to say right now. Either Lancer or Caster- Wait, was Galliasta's servant killed? Do you know what class it was?"

Shinji grimaced, that was one of the things he wasn't aware of despite his frantic digging late last night. That wasn't all that surprising since a servant wouldn't leave a body when killed but the idea there could be a rouge element in Fuyuki before the war even officially started left a bad taste in his mouth.

"No clue and as much as I would like the idea that there will only be six servants to worry about, it'd be foolish to assume that so early. If it was Lancer then there is little chance that it could sustain itself without a master but if it was Caster, that poses a big problem. That class is notorious for having magical energy high enough to compare to hundreds if not thousands of mature magus. I have no doubt that if it was Caster, they are still around and have already created a workshop to keep themselves from fading away. And there's a chance that it could be even worse."

"How could there be something worse than a rouge servant? Damnit, the war has already gone to hell and there's nothing to show for it!"

Shinji paused, allowing the Tohsaka to compose herself briefly and to be honest he felt much the same as she did. He had known that it was going to go south no matter what; even with the corrupted Greater Grail aside, the first three Heaven's Feel rituals failed spectacularly with no help from an evil god. But for it to happen so soon, it only spelled for even more headaches to come.

"There is also the possibility that the other master from the Mage's Association has taken Galliasta's servant as their own, now having two heroic spirits under their control."

"What? That's virtually impossible, the strain from support one servant is already taxing to say the least! There can't be more than twenty magus alive that has either the capacity or a high enough grade of magical circuits for such a burden!"

"I agree with you but I have a… contact that has been keeping an eye on Clocktower in preparation to the Fifth Holy Grail War. They informed me that a Sealing Designation Enforcer was chosen as the other master by the Mage's Association though who it was, I don't know. But even with their identity unknown, the fact that this particular magus is at the level of dealing with those that have a Sealing Designation speaks to their own ability. You'd have to be a force of nature to deal with some of those cases, the idea that a magus of that skill level would have deep enough magical reserves for such a feat isn't impossible."

Rin raised an eyebrow at his hesitance to even say the word "contact" but ultimately just shook her head and muttered to herself.

"As much as I'd like to dismiss what you said," Rin looked like she had swallowed something vile just by admitting this, "you make a fair point. It'd be stupid for me to ignore the possibility though I have to ask, what do you gain from telling me all this? Don't tell me that the Matou are dropping out of the war this time."

"Nah, I'll be in your hair just as much as usual, Tohsaka. I just thought that as the Second Owner, you should be aware of such things especially if the Overseer isn't passing on that information. And more importantly, I am actually fond of Fuyuki and don't want to see a repeat of the last war. If letting an enemy know about a common threat is the way to prevent that, I'll take that chance."

Rin's expression softened a touch and she looked up into the sky, twirling one of her black hair ribbons with her left hand.

"Was that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah, that's everything."

There was a beat of silence as the wind picked up.

"Tell me, Shinji, how is Sakura doing?"

The boy hummed, joining her with his eyes to the clouds. "She is doing fine, spends her free time either in the Kyudo club or trying to make the sakura tree in the courtyard of the Matou manor bloom. A bit anti-social but compared to being a fake social butterfly like you, at least she's close to one specific person."

"Emiya Shirou… I'm glad that he's been good to her then."

"Yeah well, at least someone should be."

Rin only smiled sadly in response.

The two older siblings of Sakura shared a moment in the calm before the storm, the last chance before being pulled into the same conflict that had plagued their families for the past two hundred years.

* * *

Normally leaving the rooftop and heading back to his classroom wasn't a big affair for Shinji. He did it a few times a week with Ayako and no one seemed to care then. Now however…

"_Tohsaka-san and Matou-kun spent almost all of lunch together!"_

"_Ehh, really? Those two?"_

"_Tohsaka-san's too good for that guy, you know he made Minako-chan cry during Kyudo practice once."_

"_Damn bastard, who knows what the two were up to all alone."_

"_But I thought Matou-kun and Ryuudou-kun were an item, they always leave school together and Matou-kun looks like he tops."_

"_No, Ryuudou-kun and Emiya-kun are together, Matou-kun is trying to take him away from Homurahara's Brownie!"_

And given the last two comments, some people cared much more than he thought.

It seemed that Rin found the situation amusing considering her smug grin and giggles, sounding much like another haughty elder sister he knew.

"You and Ryuudou-kun, hmmm?"

"Shut it, Tohsaka."

If it was just the words of a few imaginative girls Shinji supposed there was no reason to address it, no matter how disturbing it was to know that fellow classmates thought of him that way.

Besides, there was no way that's how the two really looked to the rest of the school.

"Shinji, there you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

There was a squeal from those same girls as Issei made his way to Shinji.

The boy could only cover his face.

"I had spent most of lunch trying to find- Gah, Tohsaka!"

"He he he, glad to see you as well, Student Council President."

"Don't tell me… Shinji, has this vixen put her claws in you? Do not fall for her tricks, I will not lose you to her!"

There was a louder squeal and Rin's giggles grew to full blown laughter.

Shinji let out a pained groan as he sank to the ground in a squat, wishing that the ground would just open up underneath him and swallow him.

"What have you done to him, you-" Issei's tirade was cut short by Shinji raising one hand from his face.

"Please, for the love of god, just tell me what you what you wanted me for."

Issei gave cursory glance to the hallway and noticed the rather large crowd of students around them.

"Not here, it's too public. Let us go to the Student Council room."

Ignoring the third cry of elation from the BL peanut gallery and even more subdued snickering from Rin, Shinji trudged in the direction of the room, not even bothering to reply. He could hear two separate sets of footsteps following him but the boy refused to raise his head.

So this is all he amounted to in the eyes of the student body, delusions of being the "pitcher" to Issei's "catcher", and nothing else.

Issei was still bickering with Rin though the girl seemed much too amused to actually take any of his complaints seriously.

Shinji was hoping to make it to the Student Council room without incident but of course, it seemed like nothing was going to go his way today. A first-year girl had stopped in front of him and looked like she was mustering up the courage to talk to him.

He could just walk around her, he could. But honestly, how much lower could he fall in one day?

"Ex-excuse me, Matou-senpai, is it true that you and Tohsaka-senpai are dating?"

The Matou could hear the distinct sound of gagging coming from behind him in stereo. It seems like both Issei and Rin found the thought a tad unappealing.

Wait, no, Rin actually sounded like she was on the verge of throwing up.

Shinji opened his mouth to respond with a simple "no" and be on his way but stopped himself. There was opportunity in the girl's question.

And you know what, it'd be worth the BL rumors if he could get one over Rin.

"Come on, Issei. I know Tohsaka is no prize but she's not _that _undesirable, she might be a bit stuck-up but at least her one good quality is being rich. Oh wait, got that last past wrong, _was _being rich." The boy took on a fake thinking pose with a hand to his chin as the first-year in front of him seemed to start shaking due to something behind him. "Well, being unattractively haughty and poor isn't a deal breaker for everyone so I have no doubt Tohsaka will find a way to trap a pauper of her own."

He turned back to see Rin smiling at him, though with the way her eye was twitching and how hard she was clenching her hands into fists, it was easy to tell that the girl was less than amused.

"I think this is where we part ways, Matou-kun. I'd love to say that I had a pleasant time talking to you."

There was a moment of pure silence as the venom from the girl's voice washed over the hallway.

"Ano, Toh-Tohsaka-senpai, did you mean loved to say-" The poor first-year's feeble attempt at smoothing over the situation was instantly killed by the Red Devil.

"I said what I said."

With that, Rin made her exit as elegantly as usual, with a flourish of her hair and a dismissal of all those around her. All the student that had crowded around them paused after the Tohsaka heiress's departure and then, almost in unison, nodded to themselves and dispersed.

"It seems like those of weak will would rather refuse to accept what they had witnessed instead of acknowledging reality. Too sly, too cunning! That fox has the whole world wrapped around her finger."

Shinji gave the Student Council President a tired look but the teenager was too busy agreeing with his own stupid theory to notice. The Matou only sighed and made his way down the last stretch on the hallway, into the Student Council room.

He was more than relieved to see Emiya was nowhere to be found, dealing with him after that nonsense would just be rubbing salt into an already extremely annoying wound. He waited for Issei to enter the room, raising an eyebrow upon seeing the boy close the door behind him so stealthily.

"Issei, why are you being so careful about this? Just tell me what it is, at this rate, we'll be late for class."

Strangely enough, mentioning that they could be tardy did nothing to dissuade the Ryuudou from making sure that the two of them weren't followed, a statement that would normally cause a spike in his heartrate. Seeming to be satisfied with their privacy, Issei turned back to Shinji with an odd look on his face.

Like extremely odd, an amalgam of every intense emotion shoved into one expression.

It looked like it hurt.

"Issei-"

"Souichirou-ani brought a woman home yesterday night."

Shinji made to speak again but found that he couldn't vocalize the words. Shaking his head, he tried again, putting all his mental facilities in overdrive for the sole purpose of responding to that ridiculous claim.

"Whatbuhhuh?"

Honestly, he was proud of himself.

Issei nodded sagely.

"I wouldn't believe it either if I hadn't seen the woman myself. She came in the dead of night, none of us in the temple even found out until this morning and something like that," The boy paused in his tale for a moment, shivering as the memory took over, "is something that I never want to experience again."

Shinji managed to pull himself together enough while Issei was talking to make sense of the words he heard individually since there was no possible way putting them together made a coherent thought.

"Issei, wha-"

"Aniki joked that Souichirou-ani had to have paid her to have such a beauty over. It didn't go well for him."

"Issei-"

"He didn't see it coming. A pincer attack from both sides; Mom and that woman, without even a word to each other, struck at once."

"Hey, liste-"

"And the way their eyes looked afterwards, so empty and lifeless, as if the brutal attack on him meant nothing to them. Terrifying, Shinji, they are truly terrifying creatures."

The temple heir looked as though he was going to give himself a panic attack and Shinji knew he had to intervene before damn fool relapsed.

"Oi, Issei, get a hold of yourself man." He jostled the boy's shoulder but found that gave no response so he went to the next best thing. "What Tohsaka saw you in this sorry state? Can you imagine what she would say, what she could hold over you?"

"I'D NEVER ALLOW THAT FOUL WITCH THE SATISFACTION!"

"… Right. Now tell me from the start, what the hell are you talking about? Kuzuki-san is one of the most strait-laced guys I know, I'm not even sure that he's ever even been alone in a room with a woman, barring professionally."

Issei took in a big breath of air and exhaled slowly before meeting Shinji's eyes, looking much more composed.

"Ehem, apologies. I had been wanting to tell someone about this the moment I set foot in school but you were nowhere to be found. Emiya said something about you going to Mitsuzuri's classroom before I made it to homeroom and you arrived right as class begun so I couldn't tell you then. The fact that you then disappeared with Tohsaka during lunch before I could pull you aside led to my, admittedly, odd behavior."

"Water under the bridge, just tell me what happened."

"Well, you were aware that there was a bit of a downpour last night, right?" Seeing the Matou nod the affirmative, he continued, "It seems Souichirou-ani had met a woman on his way back home after he closed up the school. She had been in poor condition and apparently was seeking asylum up the mountain though wasn't able to make it all the way to the temple before losing all her strength. Souichirou-ani found her laying there and carried the woman onto the grounds to care for her. Once she had rested a bit, he had asked her about her circumstances and if she needed a place to stay and she had said yes. I don't know all the details yet but once everyone in the temple had gotten up for the day, Souichirou-ani came up to my father asking on her behalf. Dad said yes, of course, and well you know the bit about Aniki but I don't know… that woman…"

Shinji turned his attention back from Issei's voice to his face and saw how his demeanor had instantly changed, becoming a bit restless with his movements and taking on a more agitated expression.

"What about her?" Shinji probed.

"There's no way that a woman like that would be a good match for Souichirou-ani! She looks like she is far too much trouble, with how she refuses to remove her hood and how she didn't even know how to use chopsticks during breakfast. Mom has no idea what she's talking about, good match, my ass!"

Shinji blinked and then sighed. Of course, this guy had just as much of a one-track mind as Kuzuki. It was no surprise that he would fixate on useless things rather than anything of real note.

"So you're telling me that there was nothing actually weird about the woman? Did she have a certain atmosphere or air about her that was odd in any way?"

Issei put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "Other than that and my own personal feelings about her, not really. She has blue hair but so do you and I know that your hair color is natural. The only thing else I could say is that she has this… thing about her. A kind of… timelessness, like looking at The Great Wave off Kanagawa or one of those life-like marble sculptures. The sense of immortality that only a work of art could replicate… I can't say that I've ever felt the same way looking at anyone else but that might be why she's so off putting. In a way, she doesn't feel real, doesn't feel of this world." The Ryuudou suddenly realized that Shinji was staring at him with an intense look in his eyes. "Ah, sorry. I was rambling a bit at the end."

Shinji chose to ignore the bit about blue hair, he was pretty sure that wacky hair colors like his own were a side effect of having magus blood run through his veins. That at least explained how a born brunette like Sakura now had eggplant purple hair. But what he had said about the strange woman, there was definitely something off about it. Issei was known to be an eloquent and measured speaker as well as having an even temperament no matter what, at least when Shinji or Rin weren't involved; for someone to almost instantly get on his bad side…

"Well then, today's a Saturday so I guess I'll be able to see this mystery woman for myself."

Issei's eyes bulged behind his glasses and he grabbed Shinji by his shoulders. "You're telling me that you want to see her? I said all of that to dissuade you and help me convince Souichirou-ani that a no-good woman like her should be left at the curb, not welcomed in with open arms!"

"Be that as it may," Shinji eased off the Student Council President's hold and turned towards the door, "the situation has got my attention. For a woman to have piqued Kuzuki-san's interest, she really must be something."

"Really must be-" The boy let out a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose before inhaling deeply, giving the Matou a familiar defeated look. "Fine, fine. I should have known better to expect common sense from someone like you, Shinji. I despair at the fact that my two closest friends are different breeds of foolish. Fine then, I know I'm not going to be able to change your mind so we should just return to the classroom before it is too late."

The Matou nodded and opened the door when, for the first time in a while, he had a particularly childish thought. He glanced back at Issei and gave the boy a wry grin.

"Last one to the classroom has to ask Kuzuki-san if he lost his virginity last night."

"WHAT? H-h-how uncouth! You can't just ask th-" Shinji took off, leaving Issei behind. "W-wait, you! You're supposed to wait for both parties to be ready, you damn cheater! You're giving yourself an unfair advantage, Shinji! Wait up, damnit!"

* * *

The walk from Homurahara was just as uneventful as usual. Issei led the trio up the steps to the temple as he had pointedly refused to talk to Shinji after the stunt he pulled after lunch, leading to the Matou and Kuzuki taking up the rear.

Both Issei and Shinji had their own afterschool activities to attend but they had ended up leaving the school later than usual due to Kuzuki's needing to finish up some work, meaning it was already a little after six.

Shinji thought about springing the question on Kuzuki now that it was only the three of them out here but decided against it, it wasn't long before they made it to the temple so he could just get the full picture there.

That didn't mean that he couldn't have fun with it for the time being.

"Tell me, Kuzuki-san, I heard you had an eventful last night?"

Kuzuki only looked at Shinji, raising an eyebrow when he heard Issei sputter up ahead. Taking that as an urge to keep going, Shinji continued.

"Well, Taiga-san had told me this morning that you were the teacher assigned to lock up yesterday and that you must have been at the school pretty late before being able to head back to the temple. That and the fact that there was a bit of a storm, I imagine that you must have been wiped out by the time you made it up all these stairs."

"Ah, that. It was no trouble since I have gone through the same circumstances many times before. There was nothing about that night that I would consider eventful."

The two teenagers paused momentarily upon hearing that but kept going.

"Nothing about last night?" Shinji made sure to keep his eyes on the man's face for even a hint of emotion. "Even though I had heard that you rescued a woman or something like that? You didn't happen to get a girlfriend, did you?"

"No, she's just someone who needed help and I was there to give it. Other than listening to what she needed from me and allowing her refuge in my room, there was nothing of note that I did that night."

Kuzuki kept walking up the steps despite the fact that both Shinji and Issei had stopped dead in their tracks with baffled looks on their faces. The pair turned to each other with the exact same thing in mind.

"There's no way that he had sex."

It wasn't the idea that a man like Souichirou Kuzuki couldn't end up in that situation, though that in itself was as odd as him not even acknowledging that it happened. It's not like they were expecting Kuzuki to be a completely changed man but at the very least, you would remember the days you got laid fonder than the rest.

"Either we got this completely wrong and that woman really was only looking for help or Kuzuki-san is used to just hooking up with women. One of those is a hell of a lot harder to believe than the other."

"Ignoring your rather crude way of putting it, I think you're right, Shinji. There is no way that Souichirou-ani would ever have such fleeting relationships."

Before they could continue to make sense of mystery that was Souichirou Kuzuki, a new older voice interrupted.

"Hey, are you two knuckleheads gonna stay down there gossiping much longer? Natsumi and her new sous chef have been waiting for you three to get here all day, at least Souichirou-kun understands it's not good to keep ladies waiting."

Looking up at the torii, the two boys saw Ryuudou Genkei waiting for them with Kuzuki behind him. The man had a wide grin on his face as he saw the still befuddled faces of his son and Shinji and laughed to himself as he motioned for them to come up the stairs.

The teenagers gave each other a sideways glance but ultimately made their way up the final few steps to where the two men were.

"New sous chef, huh? So the mystery woman has already gotten used to the temple, has she?" Shinji said once he stood level with Genkei at the top.

"Ah, so you've already heard about her, Shinji? I guess it's no real surprise since Issei here had been muttering about it as he left this morning."

"I still think that she's shady, nothing that you or Mom say will change my mind!" came the instant rebuttal from the man's son, walking past the pair to where Kuzuki stood.

"I had hoped that you would have cooled your head after spending in class but I guess not. Well, we'll see if that's the case after dinner." The temple head turned back to the Matou and nodded in the direction of the Ryuudou family's room. "Come on, Shinji. They've got a feast prepared and I get the feeling that you want to meet the woman that Souichirou-kun brought in.

Shinji only nodded in response and the four began to walk from the torii through the temple. The monks throughout the property all gave their greetings to the group as usual but there seemed to be something a bit odd with them. The men acted even more energetic than normal, no doubt due to the new arrival, but Shinji could see signs of fatigue. Shadows around their eyes, a sluggishness to their actions, and few of the younger monks even stifled yawns, something that would never be seen from men as disciplined as those that resided in Ryuudou temple.

Once they had passed through the main part of temple and into the pair of hallways behind it, Shinji turned his attention back to Genkei.

"Old man, have you noticed anything off lately?" Upon seeing the man look over his shoulder with a questioning gaze, Shinji built on to it. "Starting from about last week to today, has there been anything that's been odd?"

"Since last week, huh?" Genkei paused as he thought for a moment but kept walking after lightly shaking his head. "Not really, no. I know that there's been a bit of excitement recently in the city but as far as the mountain and all us up here, nothing comes to mind."

Issei turned around the moment his father finished speaking, an annoyed look on his face.

"Both you and Souichirou-ani seem to be forgetting that the fact that some mystery woman showing up in the middle of the night, during a storm I might add, and seeking shelter here would be considered odd, Dad. Her clothes should have been the first red flag, wearing cosplay that late at night like some kind of deviant!"

By this point, the quartet had made it most of the way there, the door to the room being at the end of the hallway.

"Well then, it sure is a good thing that Natsumi took her shopping so you can't have that against her. Seriously Issei, I would have thought that a son of mine would understand that we welcome all here. And you seemed to warm up to Souichirou-kun quite fast once he started living here so I don't see why you have such a problem now."

"Souichirou-ani is as close to normal as you can get!" Issei had turned to gesture at Kuzuki's back so he missed the knowing looks that Genkei and Shinji gave each other. "The only thing interesting about him is how uninteresting he is. That and how good he is at martial arts compared to even Aniki."

"I assume you meant that as a compliment so I will take it as such, Issei-kun. Though I must ask that you extend that same courtesy that you gave me to her as well." Kuzuki added his own piece with as little emotion as usual though with the way the Ryuudou heir wilted, you would have thought he had yelled it out.

"… I'm just staying on the cautious side. There have been too many weird things happening in Fuyuki lately and for someone to come to our doorstep in the midst of it, well I'm not the only one who finds it odd. Shinji does too."

Genkei only glanced back at Shinji and shook his head with a grin, walking up ahead of the group to slide open the door.

"I'll admit Shinji does have good head on his shoulders and a sense for reading between the lines but I can tell you right now, that girl is as sweet as can be if a bit awkward. Just watching Natsumi trying to teach her how to use a food processor was proof enough that she's relatively harmless."

Issei sighed but just followed Kuzuki as he walked into the room, rubbing his temples the entire way. Shinji made to go in himself but stopped upon feeling Genkei's hand on his shoulder.

"Believe me, I have my eye on the situation but that won't stop me from helping someone in need. Issei isn't wrong, there is something more to the girl but she came here out of all places for shelter. I wouldn't be a very good monk if I overlooked that. Well, that and the fact that she's so eager to impress Souichirou-kun, I can't imagine someone that wished to do harm to anyone would spend their time learning how to do chores from a housewife. "

Shinji met the eyes of the temple head and upon seeing the same carefree expression on his face as usual, let out a sigh and gave him his own sideways grin.

"Yeah, both of us realize that. Issei is just being his normal paranoid self and I can't say that I liked hearing that some stranger would be joining up for dinner but don't mind us. I trust you when you say that you believe she's harmless, you and Natsumi-san are kind and understanding, not stupid. If it's coming from you, I know not to take the words lightly but you know me. Gotta see it for myself." Shinji walked past the man and into the room but turned back after a few steps, a real smile on his face this time. "Though I do hope you're right about that last part. A normal, harmless woman would be perfect for Kuzuki-san, he's intense enough on his own. If this one ends up being some kind of femme fatale or something like Kuzuki-san himself, I wouldn't know whether to laugh or run."

Genkei let out a hearty chuckle and followed the boy into the room, the four men seating themselves at the table in the middle.

"What were you two talking about out there?" Issei gave the pair an appraising look, scanning over them and then turning his eyes to Kuzuki. "I only heard you, Shinji, say something about that woman and Souichirou-ani."

"Nothing, just thinking aloud. Your father is the same as usual, trying to change my cynical thinking and corrupting me into monkhood." The Matou grinned at the odd look the Ryuudou gave his dad before noticing something. "Wait, where's Reikan? He normally would have been greeting us with you, old man, or with the monks we saw on the way here."

Genkei scratched the back of his head and let out an almost forced chuckle. "Ah, that. Well, after the stunt that he pulled this morning, and I have no doubt in my mind that Issei has already told you about it, Natsumi decided that he would be helping her all day with getting that girl acclimated here as punishment. That meant going clothes shopping with them and holding all their bags, dropping all their purchases off here while those two went off to get their nails done or whatever women do with their free time, and carrying all the groceries they bought for dinner tonight. Last I saw of Reikan after they returned to the temple was him being forced to help those two cook."

"Ah, that is pretty harsh."

"Yeah well, better him than me."

"Glad to hear that you feel so strongly about the suffering of your first-born son, Dad." The new voice came from just outside the room, right behind the door. The door slid open and Ryuudou Reikan stood there carrying a large pot and looking even more dead inside than his voice had implied.

"Maybe next time you won't shoot off your mouth without thinking. Or at the very least, not in the presence of women as scary as your mother."

"I heard that, Anata. Maybe I should act more like the scary woman you imagine me and teach you a lesson as well."

Ryuudou Natsumi appeared from the same hallway and all the men in the room, with the exception of Kuzuki of course, cringed at the sickly-sweet tone of her voice. The mother of two was smiling with both eyes shut but the act fooled no one. She was carrying an assortment of sliced meats, vegetables, and tofu on two large platters that seemed to dwarf the rather small woman but she handled them with a grace that only a veteran housewife could have. Reikan placed the pot on to the table and his mother followed suit with the hot pot ingredients.

Genkei's face had gone through an interesting array of emotions the second he had heard his wife's voice but schooled his expression just as quickly with disarming smile. "I meant scary in the sense of how scary it is a woman as beautiful as you exists in the world. And how the thought that an angel like you could be whisked back into the heavens where you belong at any moment terrifies me."

His wife opened one of her eyes and peered at the man from her peripherals, standing there silently for a moment. She then nodded and took her seat next to Genkei, her hand finding its way to his cheek and his arm settling around her shoulders. "Of course that's what you meant, there's no other way you could have me and the word "scary" in the same sentence. Why, if you really did think that way, I think I might hold it against you." Natsumi smiled up to her husband expectantly and he just let out an exaggerated sigh.

"So I'm not off the hook, huh?"

"Nope but nice save. You always were quick on your feet when it came to compliments. Because you praised your wonderful wife so well, your only punishment is helping with the dishes after dinner."

The man shook his head but still pulled Natsumi in closer, having her head rest on his shoulder. "Oof, putting an old man like me to work? You never have pulled your punches for as long as we've been together so I should have expected something like this but at the very least, I'll have you right next to me. Won't be too bad then."

With the crisis of a scorned woman averted the other men, with the exception of Kuzuki once more, relaxed. Issei glanced at the table of food and then turned to his mother.

"Mom, is that everything or do you need me and Shinji to grab more things for you?"

Natsumi lightly shook her head and gestured back to the hallway. "No need. Your brother and I handled bringing in all the food for the hot pot, my new protegee is on the way with the tea set. Once she gets here, that'll be everything."

Shinji perked up at the mention of the mystery "protegee" and also turned to Natsumi.

"Seems that this new woman Kuzuki-san has brought here has already got a good grasp of the temple if you're already sending her through this place on her lonesome. When I first came here, I couldn't move more than five steps without someone shadowing me."

Natsumi giggled as her eyes bounced between the two teenagers. "That's only because Issei here was afraid that you would end up lost on your own and not want to come back."

"Mom!"

"What? It's true. You wanted the first friend you ever had visit here to like coming back here. I always thought it was so incredibly cute how hard you tried."

Issei banged his head into the table and stayed in his bent over position to avoid showing his no doubt embarrassed face to everyone else in the room. Shinji decided to take pity on the boy and get Natsumi's attention away from him and back to that woman.

"I heard from both the old man and Issei that you've taken this lady under your wing. What's she like?"

The woman's eyes lit up and she pulled a bit away from Genkei but still kept his arm around her. "The girl is such a sweetie, Shinji! Always so eager to help and even more so to learn, why, she's like the daughter that I've never had! I took her shopping earlier to get her out of those rather heavy robes that she came here with and we had so much fun together. Dressing up such a beauty like her was like a dream come true and the fact that she was so bashful was the cutest thing. She was rather quiet at the beginning but after we got our nails done, we just clicked! She even said that I reminded her of her aunt! You'll love her Shinji, I have no doubt."

The Matou's eyes had widened a bit upon hearing the pure elation in Natsumi's voice but found his own smile growing as she gushed about the woman. Since he had never experienced having a mother figure for most of his life, Shinji hadn't ever known what he was missing until he met the mother of Issei and Reikan. The woman, almost instantly after learning his circumstances, had showed him with unconditional love and had told him that he was always welcome with their family. To say that Shinji appreciated the Ryuudou family would be an understatement, they were one of the few reasons that the boy hadn't fallen into despair and he would never forget that.

"Well then, it sounds like Kuzuki-san really lucked out bringing that woman here." Shinji shot a look back at the aforementioned man but other than meeting eyes with him, there was no reaction from him. Turning back to Natsumi, the boy heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway and remembered one vital piece of information he was missing. "Oh yeah, what's her name? I still haven't heard it even after all this talk about her."

"You haven't?" Reikan had apparently gotten back some of his vitality while everyone else was talking since there was a liveliness in his voice that hadn't been in there before. "It's rather odd but she says that's just because it's not common name outside of where she's from. She goes by Caster-san."

Shinji froze.

"What? What did you jus-"

Before the boy could get out any more words, a woman made her way into the room with a tea set in her hands. She was wearing a jean jacket with a black top, paired with a long tan skirt and had long periwinkle blue hair and oddly enough, pointed ears. She bowed her head quickly as she placed down the tray onto the table and then bowed once more to Natsumi.

"Ah, sorry for the wait, Natsumi-san! I should have been right behind you but I wanted to double check everything so that it would be perfect." Turning away from the widely grinning woman, she scanned the room and found what she was searching for. "Souichirou-sama, you've finally arrived! I-I helped Natsumi-san cook and I hope that you'll enjoy the meal that we've prepared for you."

Ignoring the rather loud squee from the housewife, Kuzuki nodded emotionlessly. "I have heard that you have taken the offer that Natsumi-san made this morning about learning from her. For someone under the tutelage of such a skilled chef, there is little doubt that what you have prepared will be anything other than delicious." Noticing that "Caster-san" had lost some of her elation after hearing that, he added, "I am sure that you provided much needed aid to Natsumi-san and I will let you know what I think of the food after the meal."

"…the hell is she here?"

"What was that, Shinji? I couldn't hear you." Genkei spoke up from next to the Matou but the boy barely acknowledged it.

"You're not human, Caster." The woman next to Kuzuki turned to face Shinji and he could tell with the way she stiffened that she was instantly recognized what he meant but he didn't give a damn. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Shinji! Have yo-" Whatever Natsumi had planned to say to chastise the boy was swiftly interrupted by Caster. Without even an outward sign that she was channeling magecraft, the purple haired woman caused everyone in the room, with the exception of her, Kuzuki, and Shinji, to slump over like puppets with their strings cut. That action had been instantaneous but Shinji had also made his move, pulling a blade out from his waistband and rolling backwards to make space. He held the knife to his left hand and tried to steady his breathing but glancing at the bodies of the Ryuudou family made his blood boil.

"What the hell did you do to them, you bitch? You better not have-"

The earnest and soft-spoken woman from earlier was replaced with a foreign being that radiated absolute power, glaring at the Matou with the promise of pain.

"Better not have what, boy? Who are you to speak to me in such a way as powerless as you are? I can't even sense a hint of magical energy in that body of yours yet you decide to run your mouth in the presence of Souichirou-sama? For your insolence, I'll do more than just end your pathetic life, there won't even be any ashes left to scatter to the wind when I am through with you!"

"You said that before, Souichirou-sama… You mean to tell that you're her master, Kuzuki? You bastard, have you been lying to me and Genkei-san this whole time? Knowing you've killed before is one thing but to know that you're willing to betray people that trusted you, you're fucking scum, Kuzuki!"

Caster's eyes flared with rage and a metal staff appeared in her hands, magic circles forming behind her. At the same instant, Shinji ran forward toward Kuzuki, slashing his left palm and whipping his bloodied hand at the servant.

"Enough, both of you." The monotone voice of the high school teacher filled the room. Caster stopped her attack the moment that the man spoke but Shinji continued on only to find himself slammed into the ground with one hand on the back of his neck and the other holding his right hand behind his back. The boy struggled despite his situation and the moment that he was turned from his stomach to this back, tried to headbutt Kuzuki but failed once more as the man calmly held him down. The servant seemed to have noticed that Shinji had purposely sent his blood her way and had erased it while it was still in the air with a wave of her hand, now gazing down at him with unbridled disgust.

"Souichirou-sama, there is no need for you to dirty your hands with this insolent fool. If he is truly so low as to fling his disgusting blood as a last resort, then he is certainly not worth your time. Allow me to dispose of him myself. I must repay him for insulting you so thoughtlessly."

"Not worth his time? You don't know a damn thing, servant! This man owes everything and more to the Ryuudou, if you think that I'm going to let him get away with this, you're dead fucking wrong." Shinji growled at the woman, struggling even harder as he looked into the eyes of someone he considered a close friend. "You're a real bastard, Kuzuki, you know that? I would have thought that if you had to kill someone, you'd do it yourself but you're completely fine with letting your servant handle that kind of work, huh? I guess I shouldn't have expect decency from someone who wouldn't even bat an eye after seeing the bodies of the family who took you in and cared for you strewn about. I don't know how the hell you got a servant but I swear to it, I'll make you pay for what you did, Kuzuki!"

Kuzuki blinked and looked up from the Matou to Caster, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Caster, the Ryuudou family, what exactly did you do to them?"

The purple haired woman refocused from glaring a hole into Shinji's head to the man, pulling her staff close to her chest when she saw how intensely he was looking at her. "A-ah, that. They are only in a deep slumber, I didn't want them to get involved with this and this way they won't remember what happened, Souichirou-sama. You had expressed that you wanted them to not be pulled into the Holy Grail War last night and I thought that this was the best way to go about your wishes. If you would like, I can send them away while we deal with this boy and then I can just erase their memories of him after."

Even in his state of being put into a hold, Shinji could tell that Caster had gained a kind of lilt to her voice, reminiscent to how Natsumi sounded when she bantered with Genkei but he shelved that thought just as soon as it had occurred to him. There was something way more important in what the woman had just said.

"They're- they're not dead? All of them are just sleeping?" The boy lost all resistance after saying that and he fell back to the ground, turning his head to see the Ryuudou family once more. Earlier, he had only been able to tell that the family had fallen once Caster had gotten hostile and he hadn't had the time to check on them but now that he was actually observing them, Shinji saw the gentle rise and fall of their chests in their induced slumber. He let out a sigh of relief, they were safe.

"You did well, Caster." Hearing Kuzuki praise her, the woman's cheeks colored but she still puffed up at the comments. "Now, can you do something about Shinji's hand?" Said preening halted the moment those words left his mouth.

"What? Souichirou-sama, the boy threatened to kill you and he even knows about the war, there is no reason to heal him! It would be much better if-"

"Caster, will you heal him?

Caster glared daggers at Shinji and he would have done the same back at her but he was too busy staring at Kuzuki, completely baffled.

"Why are you trying to help me, Kuzuki? You may not have harmed the Ryuudou like I thought but the fact that you have a servant proves to me that you are a threat. If you're just doing this on some notion of sentimentality, save it. It won't stop me from doing everything in my power to stop you from getting the grail."

The man only regarded him with a nod and then turned back to his servant. "Caster, if you will."

"Souichirou-sa-" Her voice cut off after seeing something in Kuzuki's gaze and just let out a growl. "As you wish, Souichirou-sama."

Caster walked to where Kuzuki was holding Shinji down and kneeled in front of the boy's body, the word furious could not possibly describe the amount of anger on the woman's face.

"Be grateful, boy, that my master is more forgiving than he should be. If it were up to me, I would have each drop of that useless blood of yours turn to the foulest poison even as it flows through your body. You would be on the edge of death and would beg for reprieve but I wouldn't allow you to die so easily, not after the disrespect that you gave to Souichirou-sama."

The woman waved her hand over the boy's own and he could feel the cut skin knitting itself back together, all without an incantation or use of a mystic code. There was no doubt about it, this woman was a heroic spirit brought to life by the holy grail. It was the only way that someone could perform acts like this so effortlessly.

Before he could say or do anything, Shinji felt Kuzuki's hands release their hold and the man stepped back. The high school teacher ignored the looks of incredulity that the two other awake occupants of the room were giving him and went back to the table, sitting exactly where he had been originally.

"Souichirou-sama, what-"

"Caster, join me." Not waiting for the woman to respond, he turned to the Matou. "You as well, Shinji-kun. It seems as though there is much to talk about between us."

Both Shinji and Caster continued to look at the man in utter confusion but tossed each other exceptionally scathing glares when they noticed they were doing the same thing. The boy broke eye contact first, biting his inner cheek when he saw the woman rather childishly grin in response to winning their unspoken staring contest but paid that no attention as he made his way to the table as well.

Or at least tried to; for some reason Caster seemed to just annoy Shinji by existing but that was probably a side effect of her acting like a bitch for all of the three minutes that he had known her.

"I don't know what you plan to gain by talking to me, Kuzuki, but fine. I have some questions for you as well and I'm not leaving here until I get answers." A good amount of anger had bled out of Shinji after seeing that the man wasn't trying to kill anyone, at least not yet. He still didn't trust him but he wasn't about to throw away a chance to make sense of this mess.

"Souichirou-sama, do you not think it unwise to-" Apparently, the pair were able to communicate with just their eyes since this was the second time that the man had managed to change her mind without say a word. "Fine then, have it your way!"

Looking positively agitated, Caster dematerialized her staff and walked to the other side of the table, sitting next to Kuzuki and pointed glaring at Shinji. Before the two of them could have a rematch, the man cleared his throat and made eye contact with him.

"You are knowledgeable about this Holy Grail War, are you not?" Shinji only nodded and he took that as a sign to continue. "Then you understand what kind of danger you were in, trying to take on both Caster and I. Even if you dismiss her as a threat, you are one of two that knows of my past and of the skills that came with it. Why did you still attempt to fight?"

Shinji let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "Honestly, I was pissed off seeing the Ryuudou just knocked out like that and wanted to make you pay. Pretty dumb but I had thought, and still kinda do, that you had stabbed them in the back and well, I wasn't about to let you get away with it."

"Then you are even more of a fool than I had first thought, boy." Caster's voice was much calmer than before but there was still a bite to it. "If you had managed to harm Souichirou-sama, then not even his requests to keep you safe would protect you."

"Ugh, threats and killing, that's all it is with you. I pity any man that had the displeasure of being around you, it probably spelled tragedy for the poor bastard to be near someone as unhinged as you."

"YOU DARE-" Shinji was honestly surprised at how angry Caster sounded, the unadulterated rage leading him to believe that she would lash out at him but she had apparently stopped herself at the last moment. "…Do not presume to know a thing about me, boy. Hold your tongue or you will soon find it removed."

An air of awkwardness filled the room as Shinji digested the rather explosive reaction from the servant but it was just as quickly broken by Kuzuki.

"I was told only last night by Caster of her circumstances but I noticed when she arrived in this room, you were not so much surprised she was a servant but instead she was here. Were you already aware that Caster was in Fuyuki City?"

At that question, Caster stilled and looked at the boy, studying his every movement. Shinji ignored the pointed look he was getting and leaned backwards, holding himself upright with his hands. "Yeah and as it appears, I'm definitely not the only one who knows. You're at least lucky since no one knows she is on the top of the mountain but it won't be long before that gets out too. I'd say if you aren't attacked in the next few days, then you'll be fine until the last servant is summoned."

"You think that there will be others that come to the temple in search of Caster that soon?"

"The death of her master wasn't exactly the stealthiest of kills; frankly there's no way that any master worth a damn would ignore a slaughter of twenty plus people and the death of one of the two Clocktower magus sent here for the Holy Grail War. The only reason they wouldn't come after you is if they decide to save you for last but I wouldn't depend on that happening." Shinji regarded the still present icy glare with his own. "And now that I'm piecing it together, it would make a hell of a lot of sense for someone to sweep in and take out the rouge servant who killed her own master. Kill her before she is able to make a contract with another master."

"And what about it, boy? Magus have never been known for their honor, even I know that fact has stayed true no matter how many centuries have passed. My previous master was a pathetic, talentless man who seeked to be rid of me after seeing how much I overshadowed his attempts at magecraft, having arranged to have that Lancer sent after me just so he could replace me." Caster's voice never raised in intensity but as she spoke, there was a cold sharpness in the words that grew. "I was betrayed first by that vile man, I was forced to do what I did to survive."

The boy stayed silent, only staring back at her as he thought to himself. Throughout the entire time that both he and the servant had been at each other's throats, never once had Caster sounded so spiteful. Everything that had happened prior had definitely angered the woman but based on how she acted after mentioning that man, even now with a darkness in her eyes eerily reminiscent of the gaze that many of his family members shared, there was no doubt that this woman had hated her previous master with every fiber of her being.

And such a hatred could only form from being broken beyond repair. Shinji should know, he's watched every single Matou destroy themselves with a hell of their own creation, slaves to their own spite.

"I'm not saying that you were wrong to kill Galliasta, I'm just telling you there were consequences to doing it. It's more than foolish to think that you could hole up on top of the main invocation site for the holy grail and not expect for this to be one of the first places your enemies will look."

"Enemies…" Shinji returned his attention to Kuzuki as the man mused aloud. "Then I only have one other thing to ask you, do you also plan to take part in this war? You understand that if you do, I will not hesitate to kill you if the opportunity arises."

"Yes, I do. I'm sure that the two of you have your reasons for wanting to win but I can't let that happen. This is something that has to do with my family and I'm letting you know now that I will stop at nothing to make the grail my own." Shinji paused for a moment and then looked the man in the eyes. "I don't want to be your enemy but if it comes down to it, you'll find no mercy from me, Kuzuki."

Caster turned to face her master, presumably to request removing Shinji's head from his shoulders but the man just continued to stare into the boy's eyes. After a few seconds, Kuzuki nodded.

"That is good then. I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Shinji-kun. You never allowed anyone to dissuade you from what you believed you needed to do before so I am glad to hear that you will keep with that conviction even now. I have asked everything I wanted to; if you have your own questions, go ahead."

"…This isn't a question for you, Kuzuki. I already know the answer but tell me Caster, Kuzuki isn't actually your master, is he?"

The woman gave the boy her standard glare as usual but it was missing the intensity from before. "I suppose that telling you I don't know what you're talking about won't work, will it?" Caster sighed before shaking her head. "No, he isn't. Though he may have acted as an anchor to allow me to begin self-sustaining myself, Souichirou-sama does not have the ability to manifest Command Seals."

Shinji looked between the two and felt an oncoming headache forming. This was simultaneously great and terrible to hear at the same time.

"So it was just as I thought, huh?" The boy trained his eyes on the man across from him. "What exactly do you gain by participating, Kuzuki? You never had shown interest in really anything before and I never imagined that you would jump at the chance to kill others again, not after you put that life behind you. This war is far beyond your understanding, no wish of yours is worth certain death."

The man stared back at him just as intently. "You are right, there is still much that I do not understand about it but that is not my concern. I had only joined in the conflict on the behalf of Caster and have no desire other than making her wish come true; whatever this grail is, I have no wish for it."

The teenager let out a growl at the dispassionate answer. "This isn't something that you join on a whim! You want to find meaning in your life, to do good on behalf of someone else, then become a damn monk like Genkei-san wanted or go on a pilgrimage! The moment that someone else finds out that you are with Caster, real master or not, you will be killed. You aren't the type to act so recklessly, this isn't like you. You've only had a normal life for four years, don't just throw it away so willingly."

"…I will admit, you are right. It is very unlike me to involve myself in matters outside my duties. I have never once felt driven to do things that are unnecessary and that still stays true even now." He closed his eyes. "This one, she is not unlike myself. Maybe that is why I was motivated to aid her, maybe not. The reason has no meaning to me, she asked me to help her and so I shall do anything in my power to aid her."

"To risk your life over a simple request, I don't get you. I don't really care about the why and how, I'm just telling you what you're doing is stupid." Shinji exhaled deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "But I know better to judge when my own reasons are just as simple. If you want to risk your life for someone you've only known for a day, far be it for me to stop you."

The man had no outward response but he knew that Kuzuki was listening.

The Matou turned his full attention to the servant next to the man, noting that she was still looking at him with a sour expression. "You have a problem with what I said? Don't try to tell me that even you don't find it odd how willing this guy was to help you. Especially if you had just gotten out of a fight with another servant, there's no way that you were in an approachable state. Any normal person would have just called the police and maybe brought you down to the street, not care for you themselves in their home."

Caster was silent for a moment before turning her head away from both men, answering at almost a whisper. "…Then I am even more glad that Souichirou-sama is not like most men. I know too much of those you call normal and I detest them more than anything else. The faceless masses that only know to hate when told to hate and laugh when told to laugh. While I may hold contempt only for one man, the world is far more cruel than any one person can be; one of the few truths that I know will never change no matter the years that pass. I can only be grateful that such a man like Souichirou-sama exists. Even I realize him doing such a thing was foolish but cannot, will not ever think ill of Souichirou-sama and I certainly won't allow some child to make light of him."

Unsurprisingly the last part was said with ire, something that seemed to be the default for the woman when addressing Shinji but for the first time, he wasn't put off by it. It really wasn't what he needed to focus on, not when something infinitely more noteworthy was revealed to him. The boy had known that Caster was fond of Kuzuki just by witnessing how earnest she was to impress him with her cooking but he hadn't been aware that the affection ran this deep.

"Are you-" Shinji stopped himself, noticing that Caster had now rested her hand on Kuzuki's knee. He looked back at the man's face and after seeing no sign of acknowledgement to her touch, the Matou felt his head start to throb even more painfully.

There's no way that anyone could possibly this dull, right? Being in a relationship, that's not just something that you just forget to mention when someone asks what happened the night you took in a woman.

And then, Shinji remembered this was Souichirou Kuzuki he was talking about.

"Kuzuki, I am going to ask you this clearly now since implication apparently means nothing to you. Caster and you, are the two of you in a relationship?"

"Yes, a purely physical one at the moment. After Caster had told me of what had transpired to leave her such the state I found her in, the two of us engaged sexual intercourse to anchor her in this world."

"So-Souichirou-sama, why are you telling him this?" Came the outburst from the now blushing servant but both men ignored her.

"I had thought that Caster had made that clear earlier, Shinji-kun."

Shinji massaged his temples and Caster gaped at how forthcoming her master was, both of them struck dumb with the man.

"I mean this in the politest way possible, Kuzuki, what the hell? Why didn't you say that when I asked right before we made it to the temple?"

"Why were you even asking about that, boy?" Her voice was still colored with embarrassment but Caster managed to sound affronted despite that. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"Believe me, whatever goes on in Kuzuki's bedroom, I want no part hearing about it but it's still something that I have issue with. This dull bastard may not have any idea what it is like to be around those that use magecraft but I do. Even if I ignore the very real chance that you hypnotized him into helping you, the fact that you two had sex puts everyone on the mountain in danger." Shinji glared right back at the woman, for the first time legitimately annoyed with the pair's lack of discretion. "I can tell you are a skilled magus, Caster, so you know as well as I do that the transfer of magical energy from one to another is like setting off a damn flare to other magus. You being a rouge servant already means that you've got a target on your back but now this whole damn temple is on the radar, even the Bounded Field around it can't hide that. If not for the fact that there is only one other servant-master pair in Fuyuki right now, this place would have already been a battlefield due to your stupidity."

"I have my own plans to remove any chance of being attacked here, boy. Souichirou-sama has already said that he didn't wish for any of those in this place to be involved and I have the same desire as well, I'm not so stonehearted to disregard the kindness that has been given to me by this family and those they surround themselves with. I haven't done anything to bend the will of anyone on this mountain, let alone Souichirou-sama and even if I did, they would be safer here under my protection than anywhere else in this city. I was attacked in my previous master's workshop only because it was hidden away from public eyes. These modern magus are much too afraid to show the mundane masses how vast the world truly is, hiding their abilities as though it is something to be ashamed of, so I have no fear that this temple would be sieged in any way. As for servants, well, I am not in this class container for no reason. My own abilities are able to reach their full effectiveness in a place like this mountain." Caster didn't retreat from the boy's gaze, glaring back just as intensely. "And you still have no grounds to poke your nose in our affairs, especially if you are to be an opponent to the both of us."

Shinji cocked his head to the side, noticing for the first time that when the woman's face heated up, embarrassed or otherwise, the tips of her pointed ears reddened from where they peeked through her purple tresses. He would have thought it was cute on probably anyone else but in this case, those ears were attached to a growing annoyance. He shook his head to dispel such thoughts when he noticed the servant was about to open her mouth once more, no doubt to say something else that would piss him off.

"Don't be so over dramatic. I would still give a damn about Kuzuki even if the two of us were at each other's throats, we've known each other for far too long to just cast all that time spent together that aside. If it comes down to me or him, that's a whole other story, I'd come at him with everything I've got but so long as that's not the case, I still want him to be alright. And I have the feeling that he feels the same way about me." Kuzuki nodded once, to the dismay of his servant. "But I feel like we've already wasted too much time with unnecessary back and forth, I need to know what happened with you and your master."

"And, pray tell, why should I? So far all of this talk has been for your benefit, there hasn't been a thing to gain by listening to you thus far. I see no reason to even entertain your presence anymore."

Shinji leaned forward, elbow on the table and chin resting in his right hand, smirking widely. "Because I have something that you desperately need, information. I don't know how much you learned from Galliasta but his being a second-generation magus from a new family in Clocktower tells me that he only had money to throw around and nothing concrete to depend on." The boy paused and thought for a moment. "Well, that and the fact that he's dead with nothing to show for on his end. Even with whatever contacts and scraps of info the man could have scrounged up, there are few in the world that know Fuyuki and the people in it as well as I do and even few still that know the inner workings of the Holy Grail War like I do. And besides, it's not like you can go to the Overseer anymore, what without the two of you not being a true servant-master pair. I'm really the only thing you have to find out how the war is progressing, at least without showing your hand any more than you already have."

Caster only clicked her tongue and turned away, a completely unsurprising reaction. Shinji thought about getting Kuzuki to convince her to talk or better yet, tell him the account that the woman had given him last night about her circumstances but the man acted without anything from the Matou. Kuzuki put a hand on his servant's shoulder and whispered something in her ear inaudible to the boy. She had stiffened and looked back at the man incredulously, the high school teacher's expression not giving anything away in Shinji's eyes but apparently there was something that Caster could see in his impassive face as she faced the teenager curtly once more.

"Since Souichirou-sama seems to think so highly of you, I'll set aside my own judgement and tell you." She glanced back at the man and sighed, voice lowering to a mutter. "Even though the thought of doing so pains me more than I'd like to admit."

Shinji wisely didn't acknowledge the woman's side comment, calling out Caster's utter weakness to Kuzuki wasn't worth giving her more chances to threaten his existence.

"Did Galliasta speak to you about his plans? Was he trying to accomplish something in preparation to the start of the war or was there any type of alliance that he was setting up?"

The servant snorted. "Hah, you give that fool far more credit than he deserves, you look to be a better magus than he ever could be and you don't even have the body to support magecraft! No, that man only had delusions of grandeur, seeking the grail for the sole purpose of protection for himself and his future. Saying that he desired the glory of winning this conflict but having no such ability of his own to make it a reality, relying on foolish, inefficient devices to do the work of magecraft for him. That coward summoned me so that he could stay safely hidden away while the war raged on around him. For a man who had only the end in sight, I'd say it is fitting that he was removed before this battle truly began. Any and all plans crafted by that man died with him."

"That's… good. Really good, even. Knowing that Galliasta had only schemes and nothing substantial means that there's no need to worry about him have done something to mess with the war even after death. But," The teenager reached toward the tea set Caster had brought in earlier and filled up a cup for himself, "you said something earlier, something about him sending Lancer after you. Doesn't that mean that Galliasta was at least in communication with the other Clocktower master, for the only other servant in Fuyuki to have attacked you?"

Caster glared at him for getting the tea but her gaze softened a touch once she saw him filling up two more cups. "Maybe so but there is no way to tell at the moment. The two of us were not exactly joined at the hip even before the fool's death. If he did have correspondence with another master, there were multiple chances that he could have contacted them throughout the day and a half he was my master."

Shinji placed the other two cups of tea in front of the servant-master pair, warming his hands with his own cup. "Was there any time where he was gone for an extended amount of time, long enough to have a face to face conversation with someone? It's suicide for a master to go meet another without their servant but maybe the two were well acquainted, they were both from the Association after all."

"There was only one moment like that, he had said that he needed to meet with the Overseer and had taken one of those car vehicles. He was gone for more than an hour for that meeting but those were his words though so it's anyone's guess if he was telling the truth." She took a sip from her cup and gave the Matou a rather smug smirk. "If he had gone to Lancer's master for aid, it was too late for him. I had gotten rid of that vermin before Lancer showed up."

The boy hung his head back and let out a groan, much to the surprise of Caster. "No, if that bastard priest was involved in anyway, it's stupid to just assume that Galliasta's plans fell through. The Overseer of this war is probably the most dangerous man in this war, even on the sidelines. I have no doubt that Galliasta met with that man, it was already too late for him. If he wasn't killed by you then there would have been something else that dealt with him."

"…Then how do you explain Lancer's appearance only seconds after I engulfed that fool in flames? Are you trying to say that Lancer's master wanted to take out both of us, by that Overseer's order?"

"Not exactly. There are a few other magus families in Fuyuki other than the Matou and I had met with one member that has the potential to be a master recently. They've been in contact with the Overseer and said that the man had met with both of the Clocktower masters this week, meaning that he could have served as a go between for their correspondence. That way, even if Galliasta and the other master were allied, that priest could have made it so Lancer arrived too late to save him from you. And then this war would be down a servant and master before it even began." Shinji took a sip from his tea as the two before him digested what he had just said.

"Those are quite a few claims that you have made, Shinji-kun." Kuzuki spoke for the first time in a while eyeing the boy calmly nursing his drink.

"And all of them sound like baseless conjecture! Is the Overseer of the Holy Grail War not supposed to remain as only a supervisor, making sure that the conflict remains hidden from the masses? It sounds more like you are trying to make us overly wary." The woman's voice transitioned into a growl, noticing the teenager hadn't looked up from his cup. "If you have any solid reasoning to bring forth, do so or I'll have no reason to believe you."

Shinji only let out a sigh as he placed his tea down, still not looking up from the liquid. "The Overseer is a priest by the name of Kotomine Kirei, he's one of only two men that I know who will stop at nothing to reach their ideal, no matter the cost, no matter the depravity it takes. To ignore that fact just because he is not an active member of the Holy Grail War is to willing work toward your death. That man is no ordinary member of the church, he is meddler at best and a threat to everyone in Fuyuki at worst." The boy glanced up, catching the eyes of the servant. "After all, he was final master of the Fourth Holy Grail War and the cause of the Fuyuki fire at the end of it. If you value your life so little, I'm sure that he'll tell you the same as he stabs a Black Key in your chest."

Caster stayed silent with a complex expression on her face, though her master had no such problem speaking.

"Is that… not a conflict of interests? To have such a man moderate this event?"

Shinji barked out a laugh, the harsh sound filling the room. "Ha ha, it does look rather idiotic, doesn't it?" The boy laughed a bit more to himself before looking to the two with a rueful grin. "Well, the church doesn't exactly care for this ritual, only having one family in this backwater section of Japan to be prepared for such a task. It's no surprise that they'd allow for him to take on the mantle of Overseer after his father rather than replace him, they can't even control the most powerful of their exorcists even as they operate in the damn Vatican, the heart of their operations. They backed off from Senpai even after all this time and she doesn't even have her immortality anymore. The choice of sending some greenhorn clergyman to a conflict that has led to the deaths of more than three quarters of those that participate over a man who has experienced said conflict firsthand, there's not really a reason they'd do the former."

Caster kept a measured look on her face as Shinji was speaking but her expression grew dark once he had finished. "So you are saying that even the one person who should be a neutral party, someone who aids those that cannot fight in this war, is not to be trusted?"

"That's exactly what I am saying. Put any faith in that bastard and you are asking to be stabbed in the back. And well," The Matou shrugged his shoulders at the pair and looked away, "it doesn't matter if you believe me or not, not my problem if you kick the bucket."

And even if the priest let you live, there was the issue of the King of Heroes to address.

"Then, we will keep that in consideration, Shinji-kun. Is there anything else you wish to know?" Kuzuki said.

"No, that about covered everything I wanted to ask. Besides, I think I've gone well above my threshold of feminine glares today, best not to push it any further."

"And I've had enough of you for two lifetimes, you utter annoyance. Here I thought blondes were the bane of my existence, to think one that shares my hair color could make me question such a thought." Caster seemed tired out by their conversation but that didn't stop her from spitting out the words like they were venom.

"You're no prize either, Princess. You got looks but that personality of yours, Kuzuki must be a saint reincarnated to be able to put up with you."

Hearing no rebuttal from the woman and not caring enough to see her glare at him for the umpteenth time, Shinji glanced around the room.

"Don't you think we should wake them up? It's not exactly easy to explain why all the food has gone from piping hot to room temp and waiting any longer will just add to the questions."

Kuzuki nodded. "Caster?"

"…Fine then, I will release the spell." The servant pointedly did not look at Shinji and her voice seemed different somehow but he couldn't place why. "You should prepare yourself, boy."

"Wha- OW!"

"-u lost your mind? Why in the world would you think saying something like that would be fine?" Ryuudou Natsumi's hand had shot out and wacked the back of Shinji's head hard enough to knock the boy over, the woman finishing the action she had started prior to the forced slumber. Realizing something was amiss only after hitting him, she looked around and saw the rest of her family also had odd looks on their faces. "What was I… Did something happen? I can't quite remember…"

The rest of the room's occupants ignored the boy grumbling on the ground with the exception of Caster who watched with a particularly vindictive look on her face.

"I... don't think so, Mom. Caster-san had only just arrived in the room with tea and then Shinji…" Issei seemed to notice what he was saying and clammed up, not wanting to give the Matou a second helping of his mother's ire. "I-I think we were just about to start dinner."

"Yes, I think that sounds about right, Issei. Let's get a start on that, shall we?" Genkei chimed in a bit more earnestly than necessary, eyeing his wife warily.

"Hmmm, I guess you are right. Well then, I'll just have that serve as a warning, Shinji-kun. Seriously, I have no idea where you boys get your manners from. Both you and Reikan, in one day even."

"…Warning, my ass. If I wasn't already used to your abnormal strength, I'd be out for the rest of the night." Shinji muttered lowly but given the sharp look Natsumi sent him, it wasn't quiet enough. "I meant not human the same way as the old man, Caster-san has inhuman beauty like you or whatever he said. Almost like she _doesn't belong here_." He ended that off with a pointed look at the now fuming Caster.

He couldn't say that he despised the woman, the only person he could maybe give that honor was a certain maid. That one and Shinji had gotten over their differences as the years went by but that didn't mean that they were even close to saying they liked each other. In the case of Caster, her being here and messing with the peace was a royal pain in the ass.

"The hell are you roping me into your mess, kid?" The temple head hissed in Shinji's ear but the boy continued to glare at the servant.

The housewife studied his face rather intently for a moment and then huffed and looked away. "Ah fine then, be that way! That just means there more of Caster-chan for me alone, you and Issei can just sulk together while we have fun."

"Shall we start eating before anyone else ends up annoyed? I haven't been able to eat all day with all the errands that I was sent on." The eldest Ryuudou brother moaned from his seat, a growl escaping from his stomach only seconds after.

"Yes, let's all dig into this wonderful dinner these two beautiful ladies prepared for us. I imagine that it will be so tasty and filling that there will only be praises that leave our lips, isn't that right boys?" Hearing an affirmative from all but the boy who the statement was directed to, Genkei repeated himself. "Don't you think so, Shinji-kun? That the food will be so good that no unnecessary comments will be made, only words of thanks and praise. Right, _Shinji-kun_?"

Shinji looked away from Caster and sighed, running a hand through his hair as he nodded. "Yeah, let's eat. Guess being hungry makes me more prickly than usual so don't mind me."

"That's more like it! Well then, everyone dig in!"

* * *

"Don't think I'll be around for a bit, old man. Have to do a few things with my family and I'll be busy for a good while. And besides, I think it'd be better for the peace on the mountain if I stayed away."

"Normally, I'd say that was nonsense but after seeing just how much you and Caster-san dislike each other, even I can't make excuses. To think the two of you had even a worse first meeting than her and Reikan, I have to say I hadn't expected that." Genkei laughed good-naturedly despite what he had just said and patted the boy soundly on the back. "Just understand that if you need anything, don't be a stranger. You can come here for anything, remember that, Shinji."

Caster had stepped outside with Souichirou-sama since the man wanted to walk the boy out with Genkei and she didn't trust the child to not badmouth her if he was left alone with her master. Both of Natsumi's sons had decided to help their mother clean up after dinner so it was just the three of them there to see him finally leave. Her master had said his own goodbyes personally and walked back to her side but the fact that the boy had smiled after admittedly annoyed the woman.

"Gotcha, thanks again." The brat turned around to leave, not soon enough if you asked her, but stopped just before he made his way through the temple's bounded field and spoke over his shoulder. "And let Natsumi-san know that I didn't mean to be as big of an ass as I was tonight, I told her I'd make it up to her but you know how she is. Could barely make her accept that birthday present last year so maybe she'll think about it if you tell her. Night, old man."

With that, the biggest bother Caster had met since she was summoned into this world continued down the stairs, waving back those who saw him off without looking back. Like a prick.

"Caster-san, I know that you and Shinji may have gotten off on the wrong foot but I have to admit, I don't think I've ever seen glare at someone for the simple act of waving goodbye. At least not with that much intensity."

Apparently she had lost herself in the act of willing a meteor to hit the fool so she hadn't noticed the temple head was now looking at her rather oddly.

"O-oh, apologies Ryuudou-san! I guess what the br- boy said earlier must have gotten under my skin more than I had thought."

The man studied her silently, face completely blank, only to shake his head shortly and laugh loudly. "Yeah, that kid really does shoot his mouth off, most of the time at the worst possible moment. I hope you won't hold it against him, he usually attempts at being cordial for first impressions."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Besides, for as long as I've known him, Shinji never did say unnecessary things. Don't imagine that he'd start now." Without waiting for a response, he turned around and begun to make his way back to the temple. "I'll get my punishment now, the boys must have rounded up everything by now and Natsumi never did like to wait. Have a good night you two."

Caster didn't need a mirror to tell that her shock at the man's words was present on her face.

"So even he had noticed, those two must be even more attentive than I previously thought… Caster, are you well? You have not spoken or even moved since Genkei-san left."

It seemed that such an expression was enough for someone as stoic as Souichirou-sama to make note of it.

"…That man… he suspects something of us."

"Yes, even more so than before. Him and Natsumi-san."

"So that didn't pass your gaze either, the two of them sharing quick glances after what that blasted boy had said. His damnable mouth has caused this many problems for us in such a short amount of time!" She growled and stamped a foot into the ground, imagining that it was his face she was stomping before remembering who she was with. "Ah, please excuse that rather petulant act, Souichirou-sama! I don't know what came over me."

Her master trained his eyes on her body and she had to fight back the urge to shiver. The man's default intense gaze was something she had gotten used to in the short time she had spent with him but during moments like this, when the two were alone, she could only remember how it felt to be the sole thing in Souichirou-sama's mind. Being held in his arms and knowing that he would never turn away from her like all the others, someone she could truly love with all her heart.

"I wonder Caster, do you hate Shinji-kun?"

Said heartfelt feelings were ground to dust upon hearing the pest's name. Caster could feel the headache from before forming once again but she did her best to ignore it.

After all, Souichirou-sama liked the boy enough to say he trusted a brat like him with his life.

"…No." She sighed and shook her head. "No, I don't hate him. Even I couldn't hate a child without good reason. It's just…" The woman tried to make sense of her feelings in the most coherent way possible, "he's annoying. More annoying than any other being I have ever met."

That was saying quite a lot, she had encountered the meddlesome gods of Olympus, all of those braggart Argonauts, and of course, the man who had ruined everything for her. But with all those, Caster knew that they acted with malice at heart, consciously or otherwise, it made no difference. They betrayed her and left her to a torturous fate. But with the boy, she sensed no such hatred or hostility. There was just something about him that set her off, seemingly his very existence. Since the moment they had met eyes, there was a mutual feeling of ire the two had shared for the other. There was only one other thing she could compare the feeling to but at least in that case, she could just seal it away before it said something to annoy her.

And as helpful as it was to have around, Caster didn't know if she could handle having to deal with the two of them at the same time.

"…You see him as an annoyance? Truly, is that the extent of your feeling towards him?" Shockingly, Souichirou-sama's voice wasn't as devoid of emotion as usual, her master sounded almost surprised.

"Yes, that is really how I feel about the boy. It must have just been the fact that both of our tempers were running high, for us to be at each other's throats like that so I must apologize again for the undesirable way that I acted. That being said," The servant straightened up and looked the man in the eyes, "are you absolutely sure that it was wise to allow him to leave here alive? He has already proven to be much more knowledgeable than any child should be and he didn't even hesitate when he attempted to fight the two of us, even knowing that he was up against a servant."

"I am certain with my decision. There is no doubt that Shinji-kun will be a formidable opponent if he ends up against us but that is alright." The man turned his eyes down the path the boy had taken. "This was a suitable way to end things off, the two of us were able to share one last meal together, the same as we have for the past four years. There will be no lingering feelings of regret, we understand each other well enough to know that what happens now is only a product of our desires, nothing else."

Caster also followed her master's gaze for a moment and then just shook her head, something she feared would become a habit where the boy was concerned. While Souichirou-sama may have accepted her circumstances with no issue without truly understanding or even caring about them, she really couldn't say she could do the same. Having a comprehension of what type of man he was, that was something Caster cared for deeply though it was proving to be more difficult as each day passed. His willingness to aid her in this death game was something she was still trying to make sense of and now this sense of…comradery that he displayed with that child, her lover continued to surprise her in ways she never imagined.

"If that was your wish, Souichirou-sama, I will accept it."

"I do realize that you see my actions today as foolish, Caster. I must apologize as this is what I feel I must do, from this point on there shall be nothing else that stays my hand."

"It's nothing, Souichirou-sama. I understand that you and that boy have known each other for a long time so wanting to have one final night as companions, I have no issue with such a thing." Caster looked back at her impassive master's face and winced. "Alright, I do have some problem with it but that is beside the point. You have asked so little from me while I have asked so much, if allowing you this one thing can even begin to show you the gratitude I feel towards you, I happily accept it."

"…I thank you for understanding, Caster. Even if you have some reservations about it."

"Most of which I can just ignore as he was acting like a nuisance purposefully. There is only one thing that truly concerned me about my meeting the boy." The servant moved her blue tresses behind her ear, exposing their pointed feature. "I was a bit… shocked when he called me princess. I had thought that he had somehow… someway discerned my True Name."

"True Name… Your identity from when you were alive, is it?" Caster nodded so the man continued. "Princess Medea of Colchis, that is who you said you are. I assume that you have not been called by that title in a long time, for it to surprise you so."

"…Yes. I was rarely called by even my name, let alone "princess" after I left my father's court. Only that accursed brand given to me by that foul man, Witch…" Her heart clenched at her own utterance of the word but she shook off the feeling and met the gaze of her master, tentatively. "To be called princess, even as a sarcastic barb, it was something that caught me completely off-guard. It took me back to a time that I can scarcely remember, to a place that I long to return."

She had been shocked completely silent when the boy had called her that so nonchalantly. Even when she was a young girl, before the gods and their heroes could whisk her away from her happy life, there was always a feeling of respect in the voice of those that called her princess. The only ones who would ever dare to say it in any other fashion were those closest to her, like her parents and Aunt Circe, when they teased her as family does. When that Shinji boy unknowingly did the same, even with how much of a pest he was being, it felt… nice.

It felt like Colchis, like being home.

"I see…" Caster had apparently been too caught up in her own thoughts to have noticed the pensive look on her master's face.

"Souichirou-sama?"

"Then Caster, would you like… Would it be better for you if I also called you Princess?"

"Pfft!"

She tried not to laugh, she really did.

"Ha ha ha ha, S-Souichirou-sama, please. It is q-quite alright, you don't need to do that." The now grinning woman stifled another bout of giggles as the man blinked at her, curiously. "I am more than happy to just know you are willing to do so for my comfort. Caster is fine for now."

"I understand." He nodded and then looked ahead to the temple. "We should retire for the night. After those warnings Shinji-kun gave us, being well-rested and attentive for the coming days is vital."

"I agree. Let us return to our room then, Souichirou-sama."

The two began to make their way back through the temple and as Souichirou-sama said his nightly goodbyes to the passing monks, Caster was brought back to those cautionary words that the boy had said. There certainly was something afoot, oddities like Lancer showing up and then not even attempting to strike a killing blow and the fact that Overseer of the war could be actively meddling in this conflict.

All of this meant that she needed more protection. Thankfully she had the resource to make that a reality right underneath her feet.

* * *

It wasn't too terribly late by the time Shinji walked through the doors of the Matou manor, only just turning eight. The walk back was peaceful as ever, the full moon in the sky illuminating his way and just adding to the serenity of the night. There was no one to greet him as he entered but that had been the norm ever since Sakura started going to Emiya's place. The teenager made his way up the stairs to his room, tossing his school bag and blazer on the bed.

He was about to grab his towel and night clothes to take a shower when he heard the front door open. It could only be Sakura.

He had been thinking about waiting until the morning but now was as good a time as any. He wouldn't have cared normally but that changed the moment he was face to face with a servant, letting her do as she pleased wasn't an option anymore.

Shinji stepped out of his room just as the girl made it to the top of the stairs. She looked startled for a moment but put on a halfhearted smile.

"Y-you're home, Nii-san. I thought you would have been out later."

"No, dinner with the Ryuudou finished up a bit sooner than expected and I thought it best to come home early."

"I see…"

Keeping her eyes to the ground, Sakura began to walk to her room.

"You're out of time, you do realize that, right?"

The girl froze.

"The Holy Grail War is upon us, really it's already started, yet you still want to act like everything is normal. It's not just stupid, it's dangerous."

"W-what do you mean, Nii-san?"

"…I know I just said that you were acting stupid but I know for a fact that you aren't an idiot. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

She refused to look up from her feet but Shinji could tell she understood, the way she was clenching fists spoke volumes.

The Matou sighed. "I told you from the start that associating with Emiya was a bad idea but despite that, I let you play house with the fool. Now, I'm doing what I should have done back then." He walked up to her, put a hand under her chin and raised her head to look him in the eyes. "Sakura, you will stop going there."

Sakura screwed her eyes shut and turned away. "No. You can't. Y-you can't take this away from me, Nii-san. I-I refuse!"

The boy let out a growl. "Taking this away from you? The hell do you mean I'm taking anything away? You're the one coveting something that you've never had, something that doesn't exist." He could feel himself getting annoyed and honestly, he was exhausted from the circus show that the dinner at Ryuudou temple had turned out to be so it wasn't all that surprising that his patience was running thin. "The ordinary high school life of Matou Sakura doesn't exist, hell Matou Sakura doesn't exist either! Everything that the world outside these four walls knows about you is a damn lie! It's time that you realized that."

The girl flinched and opened her eyes, tears beginning to form. "Stop it, Nii-san! You're wrong, I'm not lying!" She grabbed his hand and wrenched his hold off, tearfully glaring up at him. "I'm not letting you separate me from Sempai!"

"You think I'm doing this because I give a damn about you and that dumbass? Like I'm jealous or something? Grow up, Sakura. You going there is only going to put you in danger, get that through that head of yours!"

"Why does it matter? Once you and Grandfather have a servant, what other use am I to you? Can't you two ju-just let me have this, please Nii-san?" Her voice cracked as she begged him.

Shinji closed his own eyes and grit his teeth.

"No, I can't. A master has already been killed and if you don't listen to me, the very same could happen to you. Just put whatever sentimentality you have for that idiot aside and understand what I'm saying damnit!"

"I-I don't care! Whatever happens to me, I don't care! Please, Nii-san! Don't-"

"And then what? I let you run around with that bastard without a care in the world, acting as though any other master wouldn't be able to pick you out by your damn Command Seals?" His eyes snapped open and he got in her face. "You are being an idiot, Sakura! Why the hell do you even care that much about Emiya?"

She recoiled at his intensity but replied softly. "Because he cares about me despite my own flaws. My ugliness, my impurity, none of it matters to him. Sempai brings out the best in me so I don't even think the way I had before I met him! I don't wish for bad things to happen to people anymore and I try my best even though I'm inferior. Because of that I trust him a-and I know that he trusts me!"

"…What does that trust matter when all of it was formed on lies?" Shinji's voice was deadly even. "The Sakura that Emiya Shirou know is just a damn fabrication, nothing more."

The girl's whole body shook but he didn't stop.

"Every single piece of the person you've shown him has been polished up as well as you could manage and everything else is hidden away under piles and piles of lies. So what if a few cracks show glimpses of who you really are, the hateful and lonely little girl who was thrown away and forgotten by her family, given to the big bad Matou, you can just lie to him like you lie to yourself. And I know you do, feed him those same lies every damn day."

Sakura hugged herself while crying, not even attempting to talk back anymore, just silently sobbing.

"I don't know why you're so distraught, it's not like I'm saying anything you didn't already know. And besides," Shinji stared at the moonlight peeking in through the windows. "you aren't the only one who is hiding things."

"W-what?"

"Emiya, he's been lying to you too. Ever since you've known him, again, just like you. It's kinda cute, is it like a couples thing you do?"

For the first time in almost ten years, Sakura's eyes flashed with anger and she snarled at him. "You're lying! Sempai, there's no reason for Sempai to lie to me! You're going too far, Nii-san! He woul-"

Shinji cut her off with laughter, empty and lifeless laughter.

"There's no way! There is no possible way that you are this dense, right?" He caught a glimpse of the girl's aghast face and his laughter renewed. "After all this time, you never realized that Emiya was hiding that from you? No wonder your father picked Rin over you, you're hopeless!"

There was an empty quality to Sakura's eyes now, a vacancy that reminded Shinji of when he had first met the girl. A lack of emotion that could only be created when the stress of the world around you was closing in but Shinji knew that even this much was nothing to the girl. After what Tohsaka Sakura had been through, something as weak as insults could never break her.

Though now that he was this close to her, staring into those eyes of hers, he noticed something. A glimpse of something odd_foreign _there but just as soon as he saw it, it disappeared.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Sakura. If you want to lie to yourself and hide away from the truth to keep the happy little Emiya in your head faultless and perfect, fine. Just get it through your damn skull and understand why I'm saying all this."

"Sempai, Sempai-" Her voice broke but despite that there was still a quiet defiance in her, repeating the words like a mantra. "Sempai, he would ne-"

"A fight between siblings, is it? Here I thought the two of you had outgrown such antics."

Shinji and Sakura both froze as a familiar old voice called out from the shadows, interrupting the two.

"Of course, Kariya and Byakuya fought even past your age of adolescence, continuing to do so even to the end of their days so such a thing is not surprising." Matou Zouken cackled to himself as he walked in from the other end of the hall, the sound of his cane tapping asymmetrically with his steps. "I do hope that the two of you prove different, far too much potential to waste if you ask me."

"Grandfather!" The two teenagers bowed their heads as the ancient magus stopped in front of them, studying them with an expression of intrigue.

"At the very least, you both know to give your elders the utmost respect. Now then, what is this quarrel about? I have yet to have heard the two of you argue amongst yourselves like this and never would I imagine with this much intensity."

"…There is no need for you to concern yourself with this, Grandfather. The two of us were just having a bit of a disagreement about what is to come, I've advised Sakura not to take any unnecessary risks and she had issue with it. We've come to an agreement though, isn't that right, Sakura?"

The girl still hadn't raised her head and still was shivering but despite the obvious toll it was taking on her just standing here, she weakly shook her head.

Grandfather gave Shinji a crooked grin and the boy cursed.

"An agreement you say? It doesn't seem like that to me, Shinji-kun. Here, allow me to aid my dear grandchildren." The old man made his way in between the two, placing his free hand on Sakura's forearm. An act that would normally provide reassurance but only caused the girl to flinch, though with the way the wizened magus' smile deepened after, Shinji imagined that was the desired result. "So , Sakura-chan, you wish for things to remain as they are even with the ritual upon us?"

Sakura's face had been obscured by a curtain of purple hair but when she raised her head to answer, helplessness was replaced with tearful desperation. "Yes… I do. Grandfather, please, please don't take this away from me. I-I'll do an-"

"That is quite alright, child, you need not speak more. I am nothing if not a generous grandparent though I personally must ask are you certain? I know that your brother is only speaking out of his concern for you, but if you truly wish for it, there is nothing more to discuss."

Shinji let out a growl as a choked gasp came from the girl and she fell to her knees.

"Re-really, Grandfather?" Sakura whispered up to the Matou patriarch, voice tentatively colored with the smallest hope. At his kindly smile, her tears flowed again only in relief. "Thank you, thank you Grandfather!"

Shinji stepped forward between them, prompting Grandfather to move back, the ancient magus grinning even wider still at the boy's action. Sakura must have noticed that he was purposefully isolating Grandfather and himself since he could hear her shuffle behind him.

"If that is what you think best, Grandfather, I won't stand in your way." Ignoring the amused old man, Shinji looked over his shoulder to see the girl shakily getting to her feet. "Fine then, Sakura, you get your wish."

"I-I apologize, Nii-san…" She kept her eyes to the ground like before and spoke meekly but that only annoyed the boy further, though his ire was quickly moving from her to the only other Matou alive.

"Get out of here and go to your room." With that, Shinji turned away and faced forwards.

She must have looked to Grandfather since the magus laughed to himself and nodded once more. "Yes, I think that would be for the best. It seems that Shinji-kun and I have much to talk about. You may retire for the night, Sakura-chan."

He could hear the sounds of her quickly making her way to her door though right as she opened it, Grandfather spoke once more.

"Be sure to get a good rest, Sakura-chan. The summoning is tomorrow night after all, it wouldn't do to not be prepared." The old man's eyes flickered as he looked past Shinji. "After all, good will should be met with good will."

"Of course, Grandfather… I will be ready for it. Goodnight." The door closed and the sound of a lock being turned was heard.

There was a beat of silence as the two Matou stared at each other, one amused and the other close to anger. Without either of them communicating it, they both walked down to the other end of the hall and entered the private study. Shinji closed the thick oak door behind him as Grandfather took a seat behind his desk.

"Why, my boy, you look awfully cross, is something the matter?" Even in speaking, the smile never left Grandfather's face.

"What the hell was that, Grandfather?" Shinji was frankly through with niceties for today.

The magus laughed, this time without restraint, the dry cackle echoing slightly in the room and Shinji's temper reached its limit.

"Is this truly funny for you, Grandfather? I thought you would have agreed with me about keeping Sakura here for the duration of the war yet you allowed her to do as she pleases. I know you are aware of what happened just last night with that magus from the Mage's Association. Why would you indulge in that girl's stupidity?"

"Why? Hmmm, why indeed. I was hoping you would be able to answer that yourself, Shinji-kun."

The teenager wound his fist tightly as Grandfather continued to dance around the issue like it didn't matter.

"Enough games damnit! Do you not care to keep the girl safe? There is a rouge servant in Fuyuki as we speak and you don't seem to give a damn! About the war or anything that matters!"

"You should watch that mouth of yours, child. I am in a good mood at the moment, you will find that both of us will be displeased with the outcome if that changes."

With that utterance, the entire atmosphere of the study inverted, the air feeling dead and the shadows darkening. Grandfather's voice turned to ice and his presence felt threatening despite his small stature.

Shinji could safely say this preferred this familiar sight over the always grinning Matou Zouken, he at least knew how to deal with this one.

"I hope this means you are finally ready to talk instead of just speaking in riddles, Grandfather."

"…You know, you reminded me awfully of Kariya right then, when you mouthed off to me like a fool. While it was mildly entertaining to imagine that idiot in your shoes, do not test me like that again."

"No problem, just answer me straight. Why are you still allowing Sakura to go to Emiya's place? There is no doubt in my mind that he will become a master, that fool will end up putting everyone around him in danger."

Grandfather shook his head, amused but seemingly disappointed. "You still have much to learn, child, when it comes to making one compliant to your demands. Simply breaking their will is never truly effective, you must give them a sliver, a glimpse of what they hold dear as well. Do that and they will more than happily follow your word with absolute obedience, the thought that their desires could be actualized often being enough to make them bend, make them willfully ignorant to your own intentions." He looked Shinji in the eyes and grinned once more. "After all, the Holy Grail War is the perfect example of that, is it not?"

"So this is all some ploy to keep the girl under your thumb later? Don't you think that it is needlessly reckless?"

"That is not something you should concern yourself with, Shinji-kun. I will not allow the girl to die no matter what ends up happening, this damnable city will fall to ruin before such a thing occurs." Grandfather turned away and gazed out the window to the aforementioned Fuyuki. "And besides, I imagine that this will prove to make this conflict even more interesting."

Shinji continued to glare at the old man. "That doesn't provide me with the most confidence, Grandfather. I don't care for theatrics, especially not at my own detriment."

"Then ignore it, her if you can. It is only for insurance, after all."

"You think I'll fail that easily, do you?"

Grandfather turned back to Shinji, another twisted grin on his face. "As much as it pains me to say, Kariya was a downright failure and yet he had a better chance at attaining a victory for the Matou. At least when it came to his magical ability, comparing you to the masters in this war so far puts you in a better light but it is still a slim chance. Don't let that stop you from proving me wrong however, Shinji-kun."

"…I must ask, why are you in such high spirits? Are the developments of the war so far that much to your liking?"

"Hmmm, I will admit that having a master removed so early, especially one that came from that detestable institution, does please me in a minute way but no, that is not why." The Matou patriarch tapped his cane on the ground, smirking as he watched the tip collide with the floor. "It seems like this one will be far more intriguing than any before it, the ritual is making quite sure of that."

Shinji stilled at the words.

"What do you mean by that, Grandfather?"

"I'm sure that you're aware, Shinji-kun, you've already met with the product of it." Seeing his grandson still on edge, the old man laughed. "If you haven't noticed it, no need to say more. I imagine that Sakura's servant will prove my point."

"You meant with the summoning?"

The teenager winced internally as Grandfather raised an eyebrow, he had sounded far too relieved for the magus not to have noticed. Ultimately, Grandfather nodded and faced the ground once more.

"Yes, with the summoning of servants. The effect of the Third Heaven's Feel has already shown itself and I doubt that it will stop with only one instance. Whether this comes as an advantage or disadvantage, that doesn't concern me. If it can cause even half the chaos that it did in the conflict ten years ago, then the grail will be safely in my grasp."

"Of course, Grandfather."

For a moment, Shinji had thought that Grandfather was talking about Avenger and its unique case but it seems as though the summonings of the war so far had drawn his attention. While the boy wasn't unaccustomed to the atmosphere that magical entities like spirits gave off, his sense wasn't nearly as finetuned as even a beginner magus. He could locate the mass of magical energy that a servant gave off but to be able to tell if the being was one that would normally be summoned from the Throne of Heroes or if it was one that only came to form due to the state of the grail being corrupted, that wasn't something Shinji could do. Grandfather of course, as one of the creators of the ritual, would know instantly upon see it, if a servant summoned was one that was intended by the system.

"If that is all you have to ask of me, Shinji-kun, then we are done."

"If you are saying that I assume you know of what I learned at the Ryuudou Temple earlier."

The old magus smirked at the boy. "An interesting development to say the least, for a servant to find refuge like that. A tool of that caliber, the fool who got himself killed truly was an idiot. This Caster is leagues above the one from the Fourth, to have that power at you beck and call would make even the most useless master quite the challenge to overcome. I do hope that any affection you have for that school teacher will not prevent you from do what must be done."

"Of course not, Grandfather. Nothing will stop me from being the victor of the grail."

"Then we are finished here. You may go, Shinji-kun."

Shinji nodded and turned away, walking to the door out to the hallway and opening it. He was halfway out the room when Grandfather spoke once more.

"Before I forget, boy." The air turned to ice once more and Shinji could feel the presence of Grandfather right behind him. "I'll advise you not to break the girl's will so early into the conflict. There is over two centuries of effort put into this one plan, if you do anything that puts it in peril, consciously or otherwise, I'll have no problem tearing you apart like I did your mother. Sakura's state as a Lesser Grail makes her far more valuable to me than you ever could be so remember that before you act out of line again." The elder's cane was jabbed hard enough into the teenager's back to knock the wind out of him and send him out into the hall. "Your one and only job is to secure the grail, nothing more, boy."

The door slammed behind Shinji, leaving him alone in the hallway. He lay on the ground wheezing for a second and then laughed bitterly.

"I suppose that you would catch that, wouldn't you?"

The boy got back to his feet, feeling the area that was struck and wincing. Despite that rather frail appearance of Grandfather, he could still wield that cane just as well as he did ten years ago.

Shinji walked back to his room and shut the door behind him with a heavy sigh.

Today was too damn tiring and the war still hadn't truly begun. And it was only going to get worse.

But he knew that already. And he knew he would keep going down this path no matter what.

He closed his eyes and remembered with perfect clarity Sakura begging him for the one thing that made her happy in the world. And then her look utter joy hearing Grandfather allow her to keep it.

Shinji punched the wall as hard as he could. Bits of plaster sprinkled off the wall as he pulled his fist back, bruised but no more worse for wear.

Perks of being more resilient than the average human, whether it was the magus blood in his veins or the fact that he was a psychic, who knows.

He sighed and slid down the wall, looking up at the ceiling.

"Grandfather and me… soon I don't think I'll be able to tell who's worse."

* * *

"You're late."

"And you're on time for once. Color me impressed."

The blue haired woman took a seat across from the blonde woman. The café was rather empty, only a handful of patrons dispersed about but that was perfect for the two.

"What kept you? A new curry place open up while we were out of town, your big butt couldn't fit into those robes?"

"Neither, I just had a phone call go for longer than expected."

"Oh." The blonde looked stumped. "He waited this long to call you? He talked to me yesterday and said he'd get to you right after."

The bluenette let out a sigh, exasperated.

"He's an idiot, what do you expect? Not as bad as our own but still stupid. He said that he was being conscious of time zones."

The blonde giggled and bluenette found a grin forming on her face.

"That sounds like Shinji." The blonde tapped her fingers rhythmically on the table and looked out the window. "So, what do you think about it?"

"I think that it's incredibly stupid and even more so, dangerous."

"So we're both on the same page then."

"I told him as much."

"So did I."

"And he said he was doing it anyway."

"Same here."

The two women shook their heads with a bittersweet smile.

"I told him that I would go to Fuyuki to help him-"

"But he said that this wasn't your problem, right?"

"Yes, which is extremely hypocritical of him. None of us asked him to get involved with our problems, yet there he was, a thirteen-year-old against two Dead Apostle Ancestors."

"I'm thankful for it, everything ended up better than expected with him there but… I don't think I'll ever say that I wanted Shinji to do that." The blonde stared down at the table. "You know it's only been half a year since he stopped calling about his night terrors? I can't even tell if he's gotten over them or he's just not telling us because he feels like a burden."

"…I can't tell either. When him and Ayako-chan came during summer vacation last year, Shinji looked good, happy even. I was glad to see it but… anytime the attention was away from him, he'd just… retreat in himself." The bluenette took of her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. "And I know that it's a common thing for him since Ayako-chan wasn't at all surprised, she just snapped him out of it with a pinch or a tug. That girl is probably the reason why he's gotten so much better over the years but I don't think any of the guilt has gone away. He still blames himself for what happened."

"Which is completely not the case and everyone knows it. Heck, even that guy said it wasn't Shinji's fault and it was him who was dying. Shinji's the only one who doesn't see it that way."

The two of them sighed, knowing there was nothing they could do about it. The boy was stubborn in everything he did.

"He brought up Aylesbury when I said I was coming anyway."

The blonde snorted. "Same with me. How does he even know this stuff?"

"Even if he isn't a magus, the Zolgen have connections throughout the world and after everything four years ago, it makes sense that he'd pay attention to what the Dead Apostle Ancestors are up to. Besides, this is Shinji we're talking about. The kid who came from one side of Japan to another just to find someone else with Pure Eyes and then stuck around while three killer vampires were on the loose because he saw a vision of the Grand Wizard Marshall and you together when he passed you on the street."

The blonde opened her mouth to respond then shut it with a groan. How could a guy so smart be so stupid?

"Our idiot said that Ayako-chan called his place yesterday." The bluenette continued.

"To talk to Imouto-san?" It only made sense, other than the classmate turned Dead Apostle, that flat-chested demon was closest to Ayako-chan.

"She wanted to know what actually happened with all of us and Shinji four years ago, she said that Shinji was acting odd lately and that she was worried it had something to do with Shinji and that guy."

"So even Ayako-chan is fed up with Shinji's broodiness. Good. Between the three of us, she's got the best chance to get through to him."

The two women smiled at the thought.

The blonde was the first to drop her smile. "So that's it, huh? We can't do anything to help him then?"

"Even though I want too, Shinji's right. The Church knows that Aylesbury Valesti could happen at any moment now and there's no way they would let me disappear for something like this."

"And I can't because it would bring too much attention, from Clocktower, the Church and the Dead Apostles Ancestors. I have no doubt that Altrouge and her pet would follow me either to fight or for curiosity's sake and in both cases, everyone in Fuyuki will be dead or worse."

"Shinji still has that knife from back then and the shroud I gave him the last time he was here but other than that, there's nothing else we can do for him. Nothing for him in Fuyuki at least."

The two locked eyes, the same thought in their minds. This time, they couldn't protect him.

* * *

_3rd of Ianuarius, 1570_

_This is madness, absolute madness. First a plague that has crippled Russia as a whole and has taken away many of our clan, both young and old. Then the famine, the ground beneath us not sprouting life no matter what we try, the merchants charging prices that not even royalty would pay for crumbs. And now this, an attack from all sides. The Tsar's damnable Oprichniki tear entire cities apart under orders from that blasted zealot, killing and looting as they please. The Catholic Church send executioners masquerading as those same masked bastards, massacring both Orthodox Christians and magus alike, in the name of cleansing the world of heresy. And now lastly, even our own kind rise up against us. Fools who were either jealous of our blood's talent with magecraft or disgusted with it, the same that dined at our table only a short time ago, brandish their weapons to take what little we have left from us and to leave us to die. We are still safe, our clan hidden away as best we can manage, but this conflict shows no sign of stopping. Novgorod, I have heard that Novgorod has fallen. What was once one of the largest cities in all of Russia has now been ground to dust, its people slaughtered and defiled, all at the hands of that blasted fool in power. There is little choice that we strong few have left, we must fight back. To keep the rest of our blood safe, there is nothing that I wouldn't do._

_I will keep them safe. No matter the cost._

_Makiri Zolgen_

_Excerpt from the Diary of Makiri Zolgen_

* * *

I apologized last time for a big chapter. Not this time, you're gonna have this huge wall of text and you're gonna like it.

Once again, basically a part of my posting ritual, I edited the last chapter to make things gel a bit better. Nothing ground breaking but hey, I think its better.

This chapter was supposed to get out a little over a month after the last one but school started up again, so no more staring at a word document for hours on end without changing a single thing all day. Now it's only most of the day.

On the real, updates will be a bit more spaced out from now own as more things start taking up my time. Don't think I'll ever commit to a schedule, so don't quote me on this, but I'd say expect a chapter once every 1 1/2 to 2 months.

Really haven't had much happen in my life, babysat my sister's dog for a few days, had a few family birthdays to celebrate, and that really about it.

Have not touched FGO at all, other than logging in for daily rewards. I kinda did this weird thing where if I was playing FGO, I would think, "Man, writing that chapter is way more productive" and then vice versa so my Gilfest was sad and uneventful. Didn't have the team comps for it anyway but I admit, not my smartest play.

I'm thinking that chapters from now on will be at this length, I feel like its a great amount of space for the story I'm trying to tell. The 20,000-30,000 is my sweet spot.

Oh yeah, I'm about to do that whole step by step analysis of the chapter I've been doing and please let me know if you guys actually like reading it. I like doing it but if no one reads it, it's just bloating my word count.

Without further ado, let's get to it.

Once again, Ayako is rapidly becoming a favorite of mine to write, it's just so much fun having her play off an asshole like Shinji. Well, to her, Shinji is decidedly less of an asshole. She's one of the few normal characters in Fate and that makes her abnormal because of it so things like crushes and worrying about college are what she is most concerned about. In direct opposition to Shirou and his hero complex and Shinji and his desire for the grail.

On the topic of crushes, damn near everyone that is female in Fate Stay/ Night had a crush on Shirou and Ayako is no exception. If you watch the first Heaven's Feel movie, right at the beginning, Shirou is shooting in front of his club and both Shinji and Ayako are watching. Shinji is edgy and Ayako blushes, watching the ginger's every move. You do the math.

Also, expect little references throughout chapters like the one with Minori, ones from Hollow/Ataraxia are my favorite.

It makes most sense for me that Kirei would tell Rin at least a little bit of what is going on, such as exactly what servants were summoned so far. Probably nothing more but at least that much.

I tried my hand at humor with the Issei and Shinji segment. I personally liked it, being able to play with both Shinji and Rin's image in school and Issei's Isseiness. And plus Issei is also a fun character to write.

The Ryuudou temple segment, this was a doozy. I love it a lot, every single character is fun to give a voice to but I had trouble with it. Having a bunch of characters interacting with each other is cool but it's a bitch to get them all to flow smoothly. I imagine that it'll get easier the more I do it but yeesh, shit was hard.

NOW INTRODUCING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER INTERACTION! Holy shit, writing Caster and Shinji is some of the most fun I've had writing so far! I think it was believable for the two to almost instantly have distain for each other and so having the two constantly throw barbs and be passive-aggressive seemed to fit perfectly.

It always confused me how Illya finds the threesome trio in the Fate route. Either she can instantly see them no matter where they are in the forest's bounded field or she just got lucky. This is my own explanation, sex makes magical firework that other mages can see.

Also Kuzuki and Caster allow me to write probably the most interesting relationship dynamic in Fate Stay/ Night. I'll admit I've been watching Carnival Phantasm for inspiration and I think it's working.

With Shinji and Sakura, sorry if you liked their almost sibling relationship, training wheels are off. The two had a bad relationship in canon that got worse with the war and as such, the same is the case here. For anyone waiting for the good old prideful asshole Shinji, you're gonna get him at his best. Or worst, whichever way you see it. He's not a piece of work to everyone like canon Shinji, he has his reasons and all of them make sense, at least to him.

Also, writing Sakura beg Shinji was legitimately sad, especially when I imagined her voice overcome with emotion.

And the last segment, not much to say other than tiny bit more Shinji development. I know nothing of Executioners and True Ancestors, what are you talking about.

Now on to the reviews!

TodayParade, RayDjok, BlueCore, viftech,tarrasque698, Langas, DutDutDut, and gamechanger . exe: Thank you kindly for all the support. Knowing that you guys are loving what I'm doing makes me want to improve in every facet of my writing. Thank you for the reviews!

Mokkel and FakerHero: Honestly, when it comes to why Shinji was angry at Shirou, it doesn't matter in his eyes. For someone like Shinji (at least my version), family is everything to him. For someone to not acknowledge their sibling is a great sin, no matter the reason. In this case, Shinji knows that Shirou is ignorant to his connection with Illya so he hates Kiritsugu for keeping it from him and since he's dead, all the hate goes to Shirou. In Shinji's eyes, Shirou isn't blameless either but that his own irrational anger speaking. Keep in mind that Shinji has already witnessed how Rin and Sakura act in front of him for years, seeing another case of sibling abandonment would more than piss him off.

GreenEyesOrigamiDragon: Yeah, I'll admit that I also thought that the chapter's flow was a bit wonky after that point. I tried to make this one a more "whole" feeling chapter so I hope you like it.

Sidenote, if you guys are hungry for even more Shinji, look no further than GreenEyesOrigamiDragon and his fic, Shinji's Paradox. It's already great and I can tell it's gonna get better.

D . N . Works: Yeah, Shinji's being a little shit but he has reason to. He cares more about how Kiritsugu considered his actions as a means to an end, a necessary evil, even though the idea itself was selfish. Shinji already has seen the outcome of the desire of a world without evil in Zouken, knowing that and the fact that Kiritsugu and Shirou wished for it as well, more than pissed him off.

Well, that was everything for this chapter. The next one will be Day 1 of the Holy Grail War.

Congratz, we've left the introduction. It's gon' be fun.

Drop a review, positive or negative, they are appreciated no matter what.

Gonna play through every Type-Moon VN again and make copious notes so that I can do this next part justice.

Probably not going to get another update out this month, so happy early Halloween!

DSDAD out


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